Ok, I have to admit something.

[FedUpWithIt All]

41. My mother went through similar to what you're going through.

Tied down and raving in the hospital, hallucinations, delirium tremors... We all believed she would be dead before long because we simply could not see another possibility for her.

After a childhood and young adult-hood taking care of her i finally decided to try something different. I found a study that was dealing with bi-polar conditions. Prior Psych treatments kept resulting in Drs prescribing her anti-depressants which would only cause her to go into destructive manias.

The night before the appt. i had to hold her hand the entire night because she had a tendency to disappear when i would finally sleep. The next morning she drank while we got ready to leave. She was quite drunk when we walked into the clinic where they were doing the study. She left that day with medication and started taking it. That was the last week she drank for over 5 years. This was her first significant spell of sober in over 20 years.

After that 5 years passed she would have an occasional "off the wagon" moment but was always fairly successful at picking herself back up again and the previous pattern of drink, recover, drink was replaced by drink, recover, long spell of sobriety.

We have now reached a place where she is able to avoid the relapses most of the time. She can tell when she is becoming agitated or feeling the desire to drink and seeks help.

Death is not the only escape. There have been countless times, like the births of my children and times when i was ill, where i felt such gratitude that my mom was still here with me.

I wish you healing and peace and love.