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bettyellen

(47,209 posts)

292. some guys tend to stink up any threads asking them to be allies, because we're not phrasing it right

Sun Mar 10, 2013, 03:32 AM

Mar 2013

(according to them) and they get insulted when asked for anything more than not being rapists themselves. how often do *some* guys let their friends cull someone (who can barely talk or stand) from the herd and ignore it, or worse, cheer them on? way too often. even if part of them knows exactly what it is. and there are a dozen similar scenarios creepy enough to raise friends' concern - but people often do not step in. men and women.

i don't think there's a pleasant way to ask people to not look the other way, is there? because it infers the awful truth that too many of us do. it's not easy to speak out, better to criticize the woman for being a dumb girl who put herself in danger. i know i have seen lots of that here.

and the singular message we get reinforces the notion of "putting yourself" someplace is bad. we should be vigilant and limit our experiences when young. you know how well that goes over? not too well for many of us. (which is another reason we hate those mostly useless tips)

because we learn soon enough, it could be most anywhere, anytime, and anyone. sure, some people set off radars and you might have successfully avoided some nightmares, but the majority just do not. some people will abuse your trust at first opportunity. sometimes you're having a great time with someone and suddenly it's not. it's down to dumb fucking luck, or having a minder 24/7. if you don't have luck, you need a good burst of adrenaline and a very quick knee.

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Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped [View all] ProfessionalLeftist Mar 2013 OP

And, no means no, period. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #1

Unable to consent for any reason means NO too. n/t ProfessionalLeftist Mar 2013 #2

Yup. If it's not 100% obvious that she wants things to go forward, dude is doing something geek tragedy Mar 2013 #3

How About Be Careful? liberalmike27 Mar 2013 #79

" do your best not to get seperated from the herd" sufrommich Mar 2013 #87

Well said. redqueen Mar 2013 #90

Yes, but tomorrow is MsPithy Mar 2013 #242

Please cut the gentleman a little slack IrishAyes Mar 2013 #328

Because mercuryblues Mar 2013 #345

"Why did you go up to that room" redqueen Mar 2013 #348

exactly mercuryblues Mar 2013 #363

I didn't say IrishAyes Mar 2013 #353

Are women mercuryblues Mar 2013 #181

How about IrishAyes Mar 2013 #329

Male view One_Life_To_Give Mar 2013 #359

Yep! Someone here said they'd advise their daughter to not be alone with anyone till they know them bettyellen Mar 2013 #361

you do realize you are, in fact, blaming the woman, right? why weren't you more careful? niyad Mar 2013 #257

Victim-blaming by any other name... frankenfeinstein499 Mar 2013 #303

welcome to DU--unfortunately, seeing some of the posts in threads about rape on this board, niyad Mar 2013 #306

not so surprised, alas frankenfeinstein499 Mar 2013 #318

Because backlash. Rape culture, as abhorrent as most claim to find it, redqueen Mar 2013 #310

Hope you haven't misunderstood IrishAyes Mar 2013 #330

The point of the OP, to me, seems to be... redqueen Mar 2013 #337

Dead on. frankenfeinstein499 Mar 2013 #341

Thank you, anyone who thinks it's that hard to bettyellen Mar 2013 #347

I view it as anything but yes is a no SQUEE Mar 2013 #125

I agree with EVERYTHING in the OP; greiner3 Mar 2013 #4

How about if, as a society, we don't condone the aggression in the first place? eggplant Mar 2013 #214

The two are not mutually exclusive. 11 Bravo Mar 2013 #316

It's not that simple... davidn3600 Mar 2013 #5

It really is just that simple. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #10

thank you niyad Mar 2013 #16

burglars and criminals are stupid datasuspect Mar 2013 #20

Well, your burglar analogy is piffle. MrModerate Mar 2013 #22

The burgler analogy is not piffle. It's actually very well stated. Maybe if you read it again ... Squinch Mar 2013 #28

Exactly ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #36

+1 redqueen Mar 2013 #47

+2 JustAnotherGen Mar 2013 #354

I read it again. Very weak sauce. Care to tell me why it's not? n/t MrModerate Mar 2013 #52

No. Squinch Mar 2013 #63

Well, gee. I guess I rest my case then. n/t MrModerate Mar 2013 #83

That's nice, dear. Squinch Mar 2013 #85

The analogy is spot on ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #40

It's an analogy . . . poke it too hard and it collapses. MrModerate Mar 2013 #51

lol Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #58

That is the nature of ANY analogy ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #59

We can argue all day how hard burglars try to get in . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #81

sweetie, if you honestly believe that "society as a whole" does not blame the woman, then I niyad Mar 2013 #107

I've been on the planet quite a little while . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #123

and I have been on this planet a very long time, in a lot of different places, amoung many niyad Mar 2013 #135

Wallow away. I've done all I can. n/t MrModerate Mar 2013 #159

"wallow away"??? nice snide bit of nastiness there, because, after all, what we are discussing niyad Mar 2013 #221

I have nothing but contempt ... MrModerate Mar 2013 #235

your contempt is abundantly clear niyad Mar 2013 #237

+1 Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #243

wow wow wow. right niyad? another... wow. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #244

I haven't been on this planet that long Lordquinton Mar 2013 #263

Do you like it when... IrishAyes Mar 2013 #333

welcome to DU. niyad Mar 2013 #334

LOL ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #110

This is a red herring Warpy Mar 2013 #251

Agreed. And that's how I've raised my son . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #261

There's your money quote: Doc Holliday Mar 2013 #304

The "and then run away . . ." MrModerate Mar 2013 #305

Thanks, StrongBlackMan Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #53

I just love the experts ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #77

Would you advise people to go without locks then? caseymoz Mar 2013 #232

No ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #322

What?? IrishAyes Mar 2013 #338

The statement was ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #366

'Lawyerly Banter' or not IrishAyes Mar 2013 #367

Okay ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #369

I heart 1strongblackman JustAnotherGen Mar 2013 #355

It's been my experience that burglars strictly pursue the low-hanging fruit. ZOB Mar 2013 #259

The thing is people have sex consensually all the time. Threedifferentones Mar 2013 #344

Actually, it's very typical kdmorris Mar 2013 #133

Thank you, Sheldon. RILib Mar 2013 #45

Well said. redqueen Mar 2013 #57

Yep. NO OTHER VICTIM gets grilled on how they woulda shoulda coulda Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #60

"No one denies that women should learn self-defense, and situational awareness, etc." redqueen Mar 2013 #67

But it is a sad commentary, that we do in almost boston bean Mar 2013 #86

The OP made *exactly* that argument. MrModerate Mar 2013 #126

If that's what the people around you believe, you need to move. MrModerate Mar 2013 #130

Have you ever sat in on a rape trial? uppityperson Mar 2013 #218

Trials are not "society at large" . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #260

Your tiny sample of anecdotal evidence Lordquinton Mar 2013 #267

I've seen zero empirical evidence in this thread. Zero. MrModerate Mar 2013 #272

It's really tiresome to provide the same evidance over and over again Lordquinton Mar 2013 #286

Thanks. Useful (if harrowing) statistics. However . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #293

Regardless of the cause, it is not the woman's fault Lordquinton Mar 2013 #295

Thanks for your thoughtful response, with which I still, I'm afraid, disagree . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #300

"No one denies that women should learn self defense..." lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #279

There really is something else in play with the blame the victim ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2013 #323

I agree with this much: IrishAyes Mar 2013 #336

very well said. SemperEadem Mar 2013 #101

Thank you. nt uppityperson Mar 2013 #216

Nothing in life is simple IrishAyes Mar 2013 #332

is it your view then, that we should not bother teaching men that rape is wrong--that they niyad Mar 2013 #12

Wow. Bonobo Mar 2013 #19

having been witness to many, many posts and responses on this subject does make one wonder. niyad Mar 2013 #24

It is??? Holy shit! Why didn't someone tell us this before? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #97

It isnt that "men" don't know rape is wrong SQUEE Mar 2013 #139

Thank you. redqueen Mar 2013 #152

Tell it to Niyad, that's exactly what she's saying. n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #161

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure davidn3600 Mar 2013 #191

It's up to the woman because there isn't a man around to protect them from rapists. duffyduff Mar 2013 #194

Teaching a woman how to protect themselves is treating them like property? davidn3600 Mar 2013 #226

THere is a whole lotta misinformation in that post. Squinch Mar 2013 #206

Ah, America. The land of Paranoia where we must lock our doors at night. NutmegYankee Mar 2013 #78

except for the property they've cased for months... SemperEadem Mar 2013 #115

It IS that simple. Women have just as much right to freedom of movement as men. duffyduff Mar 2013 #193

Thank you for that. prole_for_peace Mar 2013 #252

Exactly IrishAyes Mar 2013 #331

Can you give us an example michigandem58 Mar 2013 #6

k and r niyad Mar 2013 #7

From a males viewpoint, it seems to me to boil down to those magic three little words... BlueJazz Mar 2013 #8

None of the true things in your OP are invalidated by teaching women how to be safe. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #9

teaching women how to be safe. seabeyond Mar 2013 #27

thank you SemperEadem Mar 2013 #42

Hey, but she shouldn't have been Texasgal Mar 2013 #142

It's REALLY about restricting the woman's right to move about. duffyduff Mar 2013 #195

correct. i can remembering living in reno in the 80's, single. 24 hour town. seabeyond Mar 2013 #201

Post removed Post removed Mar 2013 #29

What a load of sexist crap. nt pintobean Mar 2013 #89

+1 Dash87 Mar 2013 #114

The problem I have with this is, Dash87 Mar 2013 #109

I have a friend who was attacked from behind the other day. Bonobo Mar 2013 #236

the education would not be for the street punks but for posters on du that ask if it is rape.... seabeyond Mar 2013 #245

Of course it is rape to have sex with an unconscious woman. Bonobo Mar 2013 #250

The street punks in this analogy ARE the people who get a woman drunk seabeyond Mar 2013 #253

That's a completely false equivalency. Dash87 Mar 2013 #273

And how would you "teach women to be safe" bettyellen Mar 2013 #131

Someone posted an article along these lines a couple of months ago, Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #11

and it is likely the same thing will happen here. niyad Mar 2013 #13

It is the lack of realism. Bonobo Mar 2013 #17

Would you tell your daughter noamnety Mar 2013 #73

+1 Squinch Mar 2013 #204

*crickets* bettyellen Mar 2013 #268

*double crickets* (Bonobo doesn't know the majority of rapes are done by people riderinthestorm Mar 2013 #274

BTW, there were no crickets. Bonobo Mar 2013 #283

No I would not tell her never to do those things. Bonobo Mar 2013 #275

yeah it's pretty much random, unless you're talking some frat parties. bettyellen Mar 2013 #281

Let me lay it out the way I see it more clearly. Bonobo Mar 2013 #282

honestly Bo, the big objection is that there are no messages out there directed to men, and there bettyellen Mar 2013 #288

You're right. Bonobo Mar 2013 #290

some guys tend to stink up any threads asking them to be allies, because we're not phrasing it right bettyellen Mar 2013 #292

You forgot one Lordquinton Mar 2013 #289

The ones that would rape their daughters would not teach that, no. Bonobo Mar 2013 #291

Yeah, especially mine tavalon Mar 2013 #301

Although I (obviously) did click on this post ... etherealtruth Mar 2013 #21

that period was interesting because, we were attacked for saying all men are POTENTIAL rapists, in seabeyond Mar 2013 #30

I agree with your point Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #84

honestly arcane, i believe that would be the biggest benefit for ALL of us. seabeyond Mar 2013 #88

Sadly there's this stigma among alot men that if you don't go with the group your not one of the guy Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #93

yes. i think women are MUCH more likely to speak out to each other. we see it on du seabeyond Mar 2013 #103

Much like muslims are potential terrorists. n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #102

that would be ALL people are potential terrorists, yes. if you really want to go that route, seabeyond Mar 2013 #112

No. It's important to single out Muslims because they represent most terrorists. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #119

i would argue that muslims represent most terrorists. i guess that is how you define terrorism. seabeyond Mar 2013 #120

Actually that's a terrible analogy Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #174

> Squinch Mar 2013 #211

So tired of this. Jesus Christ! Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #14

Since they aren't rapists, it clearly wasn't a waste of time. n/t yodermon Mar 2013 #25

Clearly there are male children out there who do not get the message that rape is wrong. Squinch Mar 2013 #32

No! Is it your impression that all criminals are ignorant of the law? Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #48

Your annoyance is not really the issue here. Nor is your canard that this OP blames all men. Squinch Mar 2013 #62

Okay, let's shift away from paragraph (that you don't want to talk about)... Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #72

I'm not sure which paragraph you think I don't want to talk about. But Squinch Mar 2013 #82

I don't agree with the OP. At all. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #98

Yet you think that a public education campaign on ESPN and in NFL games, aimed at men, Squinch Mar 2013 #105

You said some PSAs during football games might help..... bettyellen Mar 2013 #151

"So far, all prevention has aimed at changing the victim's behavior". cliffordu Mar 2013 #256

Kinda not. Squinch Mar 2013 #264

kinda, indeed tavalon Mar 2013 #302

some fathers do exactly as you with your sons SemperEadem Mar 2013 #37

You're asking me? Hells bells! You just made my point! Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #54

this isn't about you SemperEadem Mar 2013 #56

You are intentionally missing the point. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #65

well, get used to hearing it SemperEadem Mar 2013 #68

Get used to it? No thanks. Here's advice for you... Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #74

In my observation, the people discussing on these threads are not really concerned about Squinch Mar 2013 #94

... Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #96

What insult? redqueen Mar 2013 #104

This is a discussion board. And I was not insulting you. I was disagreeing with your Squinch Mar 2013 #171

I think it is you missing the point. And I don't think it is intentional on your part. Squinch Mar 2013 #76

No, not every rapist "knows" its a crime. mostlyalurker Mar 2013 #224

I have been in half a dozen universities for freshman orientation. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #225

True. The other part is to stop cultural acceptance mostlyalurker Mar 2013 #265

i think that is very much a fact. and calling him a monster leads one to "see" the monster. seabeyond Mar 2013 #269

If you believe ANY such transparent protestations of ignorance IrishAyes Mar 2013 #339

This is so spot on. Speaking as a father of two daughters... I can't do anything to control what Ed Suspicious Mar 2013 #69

+1 Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #75

But do you think that somebody's miscreant son can be better educated on how to treat your daughter Squinch Mar 2013 #100

The virulent, hyperbolic overreaction to this very simple, reasonable message.... redqueen Mar 2013 #108

I think what it says is very complex. Paradoxically, I think the subject is very painful Squinch Mar 2013 #132

If I had a son, there would be no uncertainty. No means no, and further, the absence of an emphatic Ed Suspicious Mar 2013 #116

The way I'm reading the OP Squinch Mar 2013 #134

The OP doesn't suggest instructing the sons as well. EOTE Mar 2013 #313

Perhaps because instructing daughters and not sons has not worked. Squinch Mar 2013 #315

Instructing sons and not daughters is equally stupid. EOTE Mar 2013 #320

As I said, I think we all know that no one is going to stop teaching their daughters about safety. Squinch Mar 2013 #327

Well, that's not what the OP calls for. EOTE Mar 2013 #342

The OP is a reaction to seeing these messages directed only at women bettyellen Mar 2013 #317

Again, it says doing one in lieu of the other. EOTE Mar 2013 #319

What it means is we're fed up with the only message on this be directed at women. bettyellen Mar 2013 #321

Silly me for thinking words mean things. EOTE Mar 2013 #343

No - deliberately obtuse to ignore every woman on this thread who clarifies the issue. bettyellen Mar 2013 #346

What explanations? There has been nothing but defenses, no explanations. EOTE Mar 2013 #352

Wow, double down on the ignorance. bettyellen Mar 2013 #356

So prominent and so patiently stated that you can't even provide one. EOTE Mar 2013 #358

Reality based when you deny their are half dozen people hear breaking it down for you? bettyellen Mar 2013 #360

So, your defense is "Other people have defended it for me!" EOTE Mar 2013 #362

Defense? Are you imaging this is an episode of bettyellen Mar 2013 #364

Another brilliant argument! EOTE Mar 2013 #365

this isn't blaming all men, any more than "don't drink and drive" campaigns are blaming all drivers fishwax Mar 2013 #156

for someone who is so tired of this, you have spent a lot of time and energy on this thread. niyad Mar 2013 #228

But then there's rape culture where men will not commit actual rape but will rationalize and parse. alp227 Mar 2013 #240

How the hell is focusing almost SOLELY on the victim "rape prevention education?" Number23 Mar 2013 #325

Let's be real. We need both sorts of campaigns. MrModerate Mar 2013 #15

so glad you have missed the toronto police officer telling women not to dress like sluts (the niyad Mar 2013 #23

The fact that the stupid remarks . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #33

or the judge who said only a "shredded vagina" meant that a rape occurred... SemperEadem Mar 2013 #38

Teaching women how not to be raped gollygee Mar 2013 #18

I don't know who you hang out with . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #26

Why do people try to dismiss women who talk about this gollygee Mar 2013 #31

Two foolish judges . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #43

You really have your head in the sand RILib Mar 2013 #55

When you paint with too broad a brush . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #71

Women are often blamed for being raped gollygee Mar 2013 #66

Well, I went to college in the 70s . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #113

You won't like my response. gollygee Mar 2013 #127

You're right. I don't like your response -- for one reason. MrModerate Mar 2013 #157

Try thousands of foolish judges. bettyellen Mar 2013 #155

There's something like 32,000 judges of all sorts . . . MrModerate Mar 2013 #162

I'm contending that thousands or rape victims have been treated like shit bettyellen Mar 2013 #185

The number one thing that would assist in this would be to Lionessa Mar 2013 #34

the woman who wrote this has received numerous rape threats because of this article SemperEadem Mar 2013 #35

Not hard to believe. Even the internet sufrommich Mar 2013 #49

Sadly no, it isn't hard to believe at all. redqueen Mar 2013 #99

Three Words grilled onions Mar 2013 #39

You mean like teaching young girls about birth control means they'll be promiscuous? KittyWampus Mar 2013 #41

I think the commentary speaks mostly to the point boston bean Mar 2013 #106

+1000 smirkymonkey Mar 2013 #44

There isn't a parent in the world who can deny sufrommich Mar 2013 #46

Excellent, excellent post. redqueen Mar 2013 #111

it's as dismissive as telling a black person who sufrommich Mar 2013 #128

So why is it a bad idea skepticscott Mar 2013 #50

Stop telling people now not to get robbed treestar Mar 2013 #61

K&R Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #64

This is just more of that blame-the-rapist mentality. Iggo Mar 2013 #70

These threads are always so depressing. redqueen Mar 2013 #124

Do we also need to stop telling people how to, kestrel91316 Mar 2013 #80

When were women ever naive about bad sufrommich Mar 2013 #91

Why is rape 85% less common today than in 1980? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #92

how about providing a link to those rather remarkable stats niyad Mar 2013 #118

. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #121

you claimed bureau of justice, yet neither of those links is from doj. niyad Mar 2013 #146

Try this. Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #179

OMG a blog! Alas, I am undone. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #280

Many people pushing these stats are doing so to legitimize porn. redqueen Mar 2013 #182

Every topic you habitually attack are reasons it is in decline. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #285

No matter how many times statistics are explained to you, you just tighten your grip redqueen Mar 2013 #309

If the department of justice isn't a fair source, who is? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #312

i know you purpose is to minimize and you do not care about reality, but here are a couple threads i seabeyond Mar 2013 #314

. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #287

you are still promoting that number? and it is logical to you? wow. 1 in 3 military/college seabeyond Mar 2013 #129

I think it's odd how you can't accept stats from the bureau of justice statistics... lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #140

i think it is totally irresponsible when we ignore how and why the numbers are what they are for men seabeyond Mar 2013 #144

Facts are facts. They are neither responsible nor irresponsible. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #149

when you conveniently ignore all FACTS that prove you fact wrong it is a mere game. offensive game seabeyond Mar 2013 #172

An ugly, sickening game. We can only hope that no one is buying that garbage. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #175

Facts have a well-known misogynistic bias? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #227

I am amused by the non-sourcing of that number at your link. uppityperson Mar 2013 #230

RAINN should have enough credibility to serve as their own source. n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #241

I guess you can't see what they refer to as #2 either. That is too bad as I'd like to see it. uppityperson Mar 2013 #246

Yes. I would prefer that their footnotes actually have footnotes. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #278

you have ignored every bit of information that tells you that number is not correct. seabeyond Mar 2013 #247

You have presented none. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #276

+1 Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #277

partly because violent crime in general is down 70% since 1993 fishwax Mar 2013 #183

Our society gets less and less dangerous each year... lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #238

It's not about pipi_k Mar 2013 #95

This stuff is getting lost in the weeds of ideology Prism Mar 2013 #117

Stepping out of the context of rape for a moment: Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #122

Actually, there are a wide variety of opinions about this- bettyellen Mar 2013 #138

What an odd response. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #148

Your question assumes there is a "one size fits all" bettyellen Mar 2013 #154

Meh. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #160

One has to wonder why you bother bettyellen Mar 2013 #184

Mind bending, isn't it? Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #186

Mind bending to ask why you introduce completely irrelevant questions? bettyellen Mar 2013 #188

I quoted the OP in bringing it up. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #200

Did you miss the part where *what she wore* is entirely irrelevant? Seriously? bettyellen Mar 2013 #203

LOL! You are turning into a caricature. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #210

I'm commenting on your bullshit attempt at derailing, in other parts of the thread as well.... bettyellen Mar 2013 #213

What bullshit. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #217

No, I called your bluff from the get go. And you persist trying to derail. bettyellen Mar 2013 #219

Bluff? I asked a legit question with complete honesty about context. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #220

Hey, Buzz and Betty both! IrishAyes Mar 2013 #340

Get A Room? HangOnKids Mar 2013 #357

This message was self-deleted by its author lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #153

really? BainsBane Mar 2013 #164

That's generally my opinion. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #168

More than teaching men not to rape, I think we need to teach men not to tolerate other men who do Lydia Leftcoast Mar 2013 #136

^^^^^This^^^^^^^ Squinch Mar 2013 #143

Yes, the larger point is, conversations about rape need to be directed towards men ALSO. bettyellen Mar 2013 #223

"fight back" by holly near niyad Mar 2013 #137

As expected, this thread has lived up to my expectations etherealtruth Mar 2013 #141

yes, all the usual suspects, right on schedule niyad Mar 2013 #150

Is that not the definition of trolling? n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #158

A couple posts up, you "self-deleted" a post. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #163

My point wasn't entirely germane to your post. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #170

Trolling? etherealtruth Mar 2013 #166

Yep. Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #165

One can only hope etherealtruth Mar 2013 #169

On the issue of alcohol... davidthegnome Mar 2013 #145

If the information about rape prevention geared toward women was honest bettyellen Mar 2013 #147

excellent point BainsBane Mar 2013 #167

The usual advice is useful only for the rarer occurrence of violent rape... bettyellen Mar 2013 #176

I understand BainsBane Mar 2013 #177

I don't know. davidthegnome Mar 2013 #173

I totally agree- I think we need to educate both sexes so the messages bettyellen Mar 2013 #180

girl, you need to post OP's more. you say the most brilliant things La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #190

I never post OPs. But, wow- what a compliment- thank you. bettyellen Mar 2013 #192

Define "not working". lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #229

let's not make this about child custody. the fact that men perpetrate the vast bulk of violent crime bettyellen Mar 2013 #248

Sure thing, I'll let the "ad campaigns" know just1voice Mar 2013 #178

How do you teach a young man that he can't have "sexual intercourse with a 2-year-old" Petrushka Mar 2013 #187

where did you see anything about being PC in there? apparently it was not the family that bettyellen Mar 2013 #198

I think she means that with children, you seldom see the word "rape" gollygee Mar 2013 #202

Thank you, gollygee! Your interpretation of my post was 100% correct. (eom) Petrushka Mar 2013 #205

Oh, the PC thing threw me. I totally agree that the issue of child rape and abuse is soft-pedaled... bettyellen Mar 2013 #207

That's like asking how you tell a sick mind not to be sick anymore. talkingmime Mar 2013 #199

It's more like asking the media AND prosecutors why . . . Petrushka Mar 2013 #208

I'm at a loss for words. talkingmime Mar 2013 #212

Those ads need to be redirected toward men to tell them NOT to rape. talkingmime Mar 2013 #189

+1,000,000 n/t duffyduff Mar 2013 #197

I seriously wish I could rec this five million times. nt LaydeeBug Mar 2013 #196

Consent. Rex Mar 2013 #209

It's unfair, isn't it? LittleBlue Mar 2013 #215

I agree 100%. And yet I get roasted for suggesting it around here. davidn3600 Mar 2013 #231

The problem is you can be attacked anywhere, so self-defense is useless, but the emphasis duffyduff Mar 2013 #234

You see, that's twisting the logic davidn3600 Mar 2013 #239

sorry, it has EVERYTHING to do with patriarchal values--the ones that say that women are niyad Mar 2013 #254

The problem is....there are apologists for rape. Evoman Mar 2013 #297

.K & R! lastlib Mar 2013 #222

What's wrong with doing both? caseymoz Mar 2013 #233

Exactly, the only messages we are getting is of limited use. And since they are the only messages bettyellen Mar 2013 #249

To me, though caseymoz Mar 2013 #270

well yeah- and sadly enough more "helpful" advice would be don't ever go out on a one on one date... bettyellen Mar 2013 #271

Knowing rapists, robbers, and murderers exist... Deep13 Mar 2013 #255

Self-defense doesn't help the woman that's been knocked out or drugged justiceischeap Mar 2013 #258

I think I'll raise my own kids, thanks. FBaggins Mar 2013 #262

The only way for a woman to not get raped... bobclark86 Mar 2013 #266

The only way for a person to not get beaten up... Bonobo Mar 2013 #284

do we address the bully or do we tell the kid who is bullied how to protect themselves. seabeyond Mar 2013 #298

If my son is bullied, of course I address how he can avoid or defend himself. Bonobo Mar 2013 #299

as a society, do we address the victim or the bully. and you already know the answer. seabeyond Mar 2013 #308

If bullying was common and ignored in your child's school, would you ignore it? bettyellen Mar 2013 #350

numbers Deep13 Mar 2013 #335

I've spent my entire life being told how to avoid molestation/rape Hekate Mar 2013 #294

I remember reading somewhere that the "don't be that guy" ads were working. Evoman Mar 2013 #296

3 things in which i believe arely staircase Mar 2013 #307

Or how about this... politicandy Mar 2013 #311

Agreed IrishAyes Mar 2013 #324

+++ marions ghost Mar 2013 #368

Never understood this. Kurska Mar 2013 #326

But you see, the tips for women you've added - inappropriate violations bettyellen Mar 2013 #349

Blame the victim is the norm for only one crime - a female being raped. fifthoffive Mar 2013 #351

Message auto-removed Name removed Aug 2013 #370