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EarlG

(22,200 posts)
Thu Mar 14, 2013, 01:44 PM Mar 2013

Time for another... Hate Mailbag! [View all]

In this edition of the Hate Mailbag our erudite contributors hold forth on the topics of gun control, climate change, and eating a bag of dicks. Vote for your favorite!


OBVIOUSLY YOUR BAN WAS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

Subject: Locking on Account?

So, let's get this straight. I join, in good faith, and make like three posts and you fucktards ban me without even stating a reason? How democratic and big of you. Go eat a bag of dicks.


ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER

Subject: forum

You're all pussies. You revoke my "privileges" for, what, posting my opinions? Because they are contrary to your libtard views...typical. And your site sucks...I think you need to ask the government for a grant to bring your forum into the 21st Century.


IT'S ALMOST A HAIKU

Subject: Msmbc is so bias. Hate the network

Can't you just be fair? Just can not understand.


A RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER WRITES

Subject: Haha.

Really? Nothing better to do huh? If it's your little group that's fucking with my truck I suggest you think again. I swear on my life if I catch someone near me or my truck I will shoot to kill. The tire blowout was all you as well I'm sure. Really cool. BTW, I saw your kid with some high octane fuel recently... they start younger and younger these days. Go Montana and North Dakota!

Which of your kids will be a statistic and earn a Darwin award?


COOL STORY BRO

Subject: My recent ban

Been a memeber of DU for several years. Did not post much. I enjoyed reading the most. But when i did get up the curage to start my own thread just to prove banning semi automatic Bushmasters would do absolutley nothing except get the right wingers riled up just like the clinton era. I think or thought they ALL needed to be banned.

But i have since changed my mind. I notice if you bring logic into the conversation over at DU you get banned. But now if i want to say fuck a gun nut fuck him and his car and his silly lawn mower, something that does not make sense at ALL is o.k.?

Well, FUCK YOU! The right will get my MONEY AND MY VOTE from now on. I just cannot take anymore of the stupid. So to celabrate. I wnet out and purchased a Bushmaster. A creat of armor piericing ammo (lake city) and a 100 20 rd clips.

A XD .45 3 mags each holds 13 rounds plus one in the chamber and 3 boxes of black talons and 3 boxes of remington +p I feel SO liberated. I was on the wrong side the WHOLE time. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Goona buy a shotgun next that holds eight rounds of Dragons breath and double slugs.

SO GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

Have a nice day.


WHAT THE CLUCK?

Subject: Appeal account right

My posting privileges were revoked based on my opinion username: Glock . As my constitutional right "freedom of speech".I have not used fowl language, or disapproved anyone's comment.


IT'S RON!

Subject: (no subject)

That didnt take you long you douche bags, How Am I supposed to infiltrate you now?. You have only proved to me the Idiocy and stupidity of your rationale. Your mindless uniteligent bander is worthless, and anti American. Although I do agree with the 1st amendment allowing this kind of speech. I think you repungent stench of a excuse for speak is illterate and incoherent. All the members of your Orgizanation are bafoons that have brains incapable of sovereign thought. I wish you the best in your attempts to conlude the public in your immoral Anti American ideas,

Drone on robots!!!

Thanks,
RON!


IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW

Subject: why was i banned?

i posted twice one i thought was a comical remark on socialism which i said socialism looks like north korea and the other i stated a scientific remark on global warming on how climate changes according to nasa is due to the sun and how the real problem is the ozone layer and how thats how we are really harming the environment

i think i was unfairly banned im sorry i just would like to be informed why i was banned if it is something else i did.


I'D BEEN WONDERING WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO GLENN BECK

Subject: (no subject)

Obama you fucking no good scum sucking thug fucking th th th th th th the Spit it out you fucking retarded big eared purple scum fuck


DEAR NEWSMAX, DID YOU KNOW YOUR BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT TEAM IS OPERATING ON AUTOPILOT?

Subject: Revenue/partnership opportunity

My name is (redacted), I work with Newsmax Media in Boca Raton, FL and I am a huge fan of your sites. I am interested in putting a Newsmax newsfeed on your entire network of sites for pay (this would not be an advertisement, this would be additional content on your site. WE PAY YOU) I feel your site is a wonderful fit for us, and we would make a valuable partner to you and your staff. The newsfeed is an efficient way to add additional content for your readers while generating revenues with minimal effort. we can customize the size and content of the newsfeed to your liking. Please let me know a time when we can further discuss this opportunity. Your sites are loaded with important information, I feel we can only help. Keep up the good work, your sites are stellar

Best,

(redacted)


POLL: Who is your favorite hate mailer?
206 votes, 5 passes | Time left: Time expired
The person who told us to eat a bag of dicks
16 (8%)
The person whose opinions are contrary to our libtard views
1 (0%)
The person who thinks that Msmbc is so bias
0 (0%)
The person who wants to kill us for fucking with his truck
81 (39%)
The person who used to be liberal until DU converted him into a right-wing Republican gun fetishist
20 (10%)
The person who did not use fowl language
10 (5%)
The person who thinks our Orgizanation's repungent stench of a excuse for speak is illterate
50 (24%)
The person who wanted to let us know that global warming is caused by the sun
6 (3%)
The person who referred to President Obama as a purple scum fuck
3 (1%)
Newsmax's Business Development Team
19 (9%)
Show usernames
Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
244 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Did anyone go eat a bag of dicks? onehandle Mar 2013 #1
With enough mustard and hot sauce, almost anything can be eaten. Did I mention beer? leveymg Mar 2013 #8
They're best chocolate covered with a nice chianti. n/t sarge43 Mar 2013 #29
Mmmm, my favorite😉 Janecita Mar 2013 #41
What, no Fava beans? leveymg Mar 2013 #47
no liver either. hehe Nanjing to Seoul Mar 2013 #209
Do they come with sprinkles on them? zeemike Mar 2013 #92
mmmm. Nutella. lonestarnot Mar 2013 #183
Slippery dick ceviche is yummy too Submariner Mar 2013 #148
I prefer Jussi Pussi ... Fantastic Anarchist Mar 2013 #192
I refuse pipi_k Mar 2013 #18
Right wing brains lovemydog Mar 2013 #108
Maybe it was one of the secret ingredients on CHOPPED! JoePhilly Mar 2013 #39
Hahaha. Excellent. narnian60 Mar 2013 #82
JoePhilly, kurtzapril4 Mar 2013 #225
I myself am a fan of free-range dicks, as they're chemical-free. winter is coming Mar 2013 #48
I have only been timdog44 Mar 2013 #57
And anything else would be cruelty to dicks. No need for that. Squinch Mar 2013 #138
They also need to be grass-fed and fair trade, of course n/t eridani Mar 2013 #205
Of course, you can't eat just one. n/t reflection Mar 2013 #80
I buy mine in bulk to cut down on the packaging Jeff In Milwaukee Mar 2013 #84
Costco, of course! soleiri Mar 2013 #88
I thought they came in a can KamaAina Mar 2013 #90
Not me... awoke_in_2003 Mar 2013 #95
Ahem. The correct phrase is "Suck a bag of dicks." Ratty Mar 2013 #96
Suck a bag In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #123
not lately In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #121
I wasn't even aware they could be bought by the bag. Election_Correction Mar 2013 #134
You could use the 'vagina bread' as rolls. nt msanthrope Mar 2013 #149
LMFAO n/t L0oniX Mar 2013 #165
I prefer my dicks boxed nt NoGOPZone Mar 2013 #161
This thread should be saved for the Christmas party Left Coast2020 Mar 2013 #242
www.amazon.com --- duh Gore1FL Mar 2013 #171
With some fava beans and a nice chilled Chianti. Initech Mar 2013 #176
Maybe it was a bag of CANS of dick? krispos42 Mar 2013 #190
And we have a winner. I had no idea my offhand remark would draw so many responses. nt onehandle Mar 2013 #216
Yes. Walmart. ZombieHorde Mar 2013 #194
Cool story bro! Melinda Mar 2013 #2
Well, think about it sarge43 Mar 2013 #33
Hot damn! Hate Mail was part of what attracted me to here 11 years ago! 11 Bravo Mar 2013 #3
As scary as this thought is... Solly Mack Mar 2013 #4
And better!!! Squinch Mar 2013 #140
LOL! I still can't decide. The truck dude is my favorite, I think. Solly Mack Mar 2013 #172
I like "Ron!". Any bets on whether that exclamation point is part of the spelling of his name on Squinch Mar 2013 #213
He's iRon!... Solly Mack Mar 2013 #231
He thinks "iPod" refers to his family! (We could go on forever with this one!) Squinch Mar 2013 #232
LOL! Good one! Solly Mack Mar 2013 #233
You shouldn't have fucked with his truck, EarlG pinboy3niner Mar 2013 #5
That was actually me. My apologies to EarlG and his octane guzzling kids. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #43
This is what the truck looked like ... before we messed with it. JoePhilly Mar 2013 #45
That'll buff out just fine. n/t A HERETIC I AM Mar 2013 #60
Look out! He has a sure-fire way of tracking us down!1! pacalo Mar 2013 #74
Just needs a little touch up paint from Walmart! RKP5637 Mar 2013 #105
This reminds me of the Squidbillies. Actually, now that I think about it... Raine1967 Mar 2013 #130
I'd like to know which clique I have sufrommich Mar 2013 #6
Deposit $10,000 (cash or money order) into DU's account and you get invited. At least that is how I Vincardog Mar 2013 #40
I deposited the $10k lovemydog Mar 2013 #106
Ron! ismnotwasm Mar 2013 #7
+1 Benton D Struckcheon Mar 2013 #36
Jeez, If Ron Has A Blog Site, Be Sure To Let Us Know! Paladin Mar 2013 #104
As I said in another response: deutsey Mar 2013 #117
Nicely put. (nt) Paladin Mar 2013 #118
He does--it's called RON!@blogspot. Arkana Mar 2013 #167
"I'd been wondering..." Puzzledtraveller Mar 2013 #9
Cool story bro....... Marrah_G Mar 2013 #10
Fowl language.... Buhgawk!!!! Initech Mar 2013 #11
This message was self-deleted by its author devilgrrl Mar 2013 #14
They were all great, colorado_ufo Mar 2013 #63
LOL! myrna minx Mar 2013 #219
Errrr merrrrr Gerrrrd! rdharma Mar 2013 #12
I have to ask,are you a sufrommich Mar 2013 #15
Kath and Kim show rdharma Mar 2013 #35
Haven't seen the Aussie version, but Kath and Kim was still one of the better shows they cancelled. Mnemosyne Mar 2013 #81
Well at least Ron said "Thanks". nolabear Mar 2013 #13
But "repungent stench" needs to become a thing. Repungentcans? Squinch Mar 2013 #142
So true. He was a master at malaprops. nolabear Mar 2013 #157
Difficult choice, as always, but Ron deserves consideration for a regular column. Scuba Mar 2013 #16
I just love Mnpaul Mar 2013 #61
Ron libodem Mar 2013 #17
Decisions, decisions... sarisataka Mar 2013 #19
I told you that sending out the youth auxiliary to fuck with his truck would backfire! Egalitarian Thug Mar 2013 #20
The person who used to be liberal Flashmann Mar 2013 #21
What a sad and depressing lot they are...nt and-justice-for-all Mar 2013 #22
do they still get asked back and revoked instantly? demosocialist Mar 2013 #23
Well, gee, now, these deep thinkers liberalhistorian Mar 2013 #24
Sure they do -- they say "cluck yourself" all the time. Hekate Mar 2013 #160
Have you seen the price of dicks lately? LeftofObama Mar 2013 #25
I bought my bag of dicks at Unknown Beatle Mar 2013 #87
Ron or the truck? sharp_stick Mar 2013 #26
Truck. That kind of paranoia is sooo entertaining. freshwest Mar 2013 #53
You should take Newsmax up on their offer Downtown Hound Mar 2013 #27
Wonkette has already done it muriel_volestrangler Mar 2013 #132
I want to conclude the public in my immoral Anti American ideas. pinto Mar 2013 #28
"Go eat a bag of dicks." Reminds me of a Rowan and Martin interchange. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #30
I licked the wordings of the oliterate orange nation of ravenous bafoons most JoePhilly Mar 2013 #31
I had to vote for Ron ... surrealAmerican Mar 2013 #32
That's what swung my vote toward Ron deutsey Mar 2013 #115
Don't you mean "RON!"? Arkana Mar 2013 #217
"fowl language" WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #34
Righteous imposition of the Glock Block...eom Kolesar Mar 2013 #59
Don't laugh... 4_TN_TITANS Mar 2013 #119
Bwahahahahahahaha! love_katz Mar 2013 #37
Damn, damn, damn. I needed that ! russspeakeasy Mar 2013 #38
YAY!!! NMDemDist2 Mar 2013 #42
hard choices padruig Mar 2013 #44
And ozone... Blanks Mar 2013 #147
Messing with truck vs criticizing our "uniteligent bander" how can you choose? stevenleser Mar 2013 #46
The guy who bought all the guns is a bit scary. I mean reportable scary. marble falls Mar 2013 #49
All bluster, that guy did no such a thing. Ikonoklast Mar 2013 #141
Said everybody about Adam Lanza and James Holmes and the Columbine shooters. marble falls Mar 2013 #145
"Ron" can't even spell "illiterate" OhioChick Mar 2013 #50
Would this many turds a cesspool make? Progressive dog Mar 2013 #51
Ha!! greytdemocrat Mar 2013 #52
Ron has got to be EvilAL Mar 2013 #54
I particularly like his exclamation point lovemydog Mar 2013 #116
One must not simply say "Ron", EvilAL Mar 2013 #124
... AzDar Mar 2013 #55
My god... it's full of stars AtheistCrusader Mar 2013 #56
Thread win WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #64
2001 recut as a summer blockbuster: myrna minx Mar 2013 #220
A bafoon! yellerpup Mar 2013 #58
My favorite new word beveeheart Mar 2013 #159
+1! yellerpup Mar 2013 #211
Now you are casting asparagus at bafoons? eridani Mar 2013 #206
I wonder to myself yellerpup Mar 2013 #212
Don't forget ruthless tyrant Paul Pot. myrna minx Mar 2013 #221
Paul Pot! yellerpup Mar 2013 #222
LOL. Are these for real? nt SunSeeker Mar 2013 #62
Yes. Yes indeed, they ARE real. CottonBear Mar 2013 #187
Still not taking their meds. Cleita Mar 2013 #65
The guy with the truck... Javaman Mar 2013 #66
I think his name is Francis... Whiskeytide Mar 2013 #70
'Your mindless uniteligent bander is worthless' marmar Mar 2013 #67
I don't mean to complain, EarlG, but I did turn in my travel expense report 2 weeks ago DisgustipatedinCA Mar 2013 #68
And I suppose you want beer along with that travel money? nolabear Mar 2013 #125
Yes, we had a verbal contract--I was to have gotten a case of Milwaukee's Best DisgustipatedinCA Mar 2013 #129
And, I suppose you'll have the many experiences on your own. nolabear Mar 2013 #139
You screwed up Progressive dog Mar 2013 #180
The plan was perfect, flawless. DisgustipatedinCA Mar 2013 #189
All that and a bag of dicks. klook Mar 2013 #69
They're ALL winners! progressoid Mar 2013 #71
I FOUND IT! warrprayer Mar 2013 #72
Get outta here! 4_TN_TITANS Mar 2013 #102
Nom nom nom! CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2013 #199
"If it's your little group that's fucking with my truck I suggest you think again." Raffi Ella Mar 2013 #73
I voted for Ron! RevStPatrick Mar 2013 #75
'What the Cluck?' Grateful for Hope Mar 2013 #76
The "cool story bro" guy needs his gun privileges revoked. Apophis Mar 2013 #77
Too much fun! Thank you! n/t GoneOffShore Mar 2013 #78
Thank you, EarlG, thank you, thank you, thank you! Paladin Mar 2013 #79
Sweet..... thanks EarlG. n/t 4_TN_TITANS Mar 2013 #83
May I please campaign for Ron? wryter2000 Mar 2013 #85
Oh noes it's repugnant stench bander all the time here.... Kalidurga Mar 2013 #86
I liked the global warming guy Aerows Mar 2013 #89
Had to vote for the "bag of dicks" joeybee12 Mar 2013 #91
"bag of dicks" and "fowl language" get prizes for most poetic use of English Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #93
It's Ron 2016! one_voice Mar 2013 #94
Monty I'll go with the bag of dicks olddots Mar 2013 #97
I swear to god, I have absolutely got to stop reading these mlevans Mar 2013 #98
"Your mindless uniteligent bander is worthless" DollarBillHines Mar 2013 #99
I can understand their frustration, but.... Hulk Mar 2013 #100
So very hard to choose! Sissyk Mar 2013 #101
Dang! Quite a selection! SnowCritter Mar 2013 #103
Wow! Dyedinthewoolliberal Mar 2013 #107
It's almost a haiku! motocicleta2 Mar 2013 #109
Cool story bro! ellisonz Mar 2013 #110
Voting for Ron! because the irony of his statement about being "illterate and incoherent" cbayer Mar 2013 #111
I voted for the guy who claimed to be a liberal-turned-conservative. Jamaal510 Mar 2013 #112
Fowl language dipsydoodle Mar 2013 #113
BS Turbineguy Mar 2013 #114
The truck... that's dumbfuck gold, there. Scootaloo Mar 2013 #120
The truck guy matt819 Mar 2013 #122
who wants to kill us for fucking with his truck In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #126
Can I use food stamps to buy a bag of dicks? Nevernose Mar 2013 #127
Ahhhhh, a breath of foul air. Thanks for the mailbag, EarlG!! DinahMoeHum Mar 2013 #128
I love them all. Shrike47 Mar 2013 #131
At least he didn't use the n word LiberalLovinLug Mar 2013 #133
I feel so torn! Can I vote more than once? lunatica Mar 2013 #135
RON! He speaks fluent Palinese. tanyev Mar 2013 #136
Butt in his hindsite They_Live Mar 2013 #235
The only thing uglier than the truck was probly his dog. MichiganVote Mar 2013 #137
Oh my sweet Lord shenmue Mar 2013 #143
Guh. Too hard to choose, i hadda pass. nt. druidity33 Mar 2013 #144
Ron, you crack me up, dude. I voted for you. I love you, Ron. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2013 #146
Ron has a point KT2000 Mar 2013 #150
With all the Republican Dicks, just how big a bag is it? rateyes Mar 2013 #151
I missed hate mail bag!! Tien1985 Mar 2013 #152
bwahahahahaahahaaaaaaa ahhhahahahahaaaa spanone Mar 2013 #153
I'm goin' with the ex-liberal.. Permanut Mar 2013 #154
Wow, it really is impossible to choose just one! MH1 Mar 2013 #155
I'm going to leave a bag of dicks in that guy's truck. n/t Ian David Mar 2013 #156
Since he's probably got Truck Nutz on it, that would be appropriate. winter is coming Mar 2013 #203
I'm not going to tell people I hate to go fuck themselves anymore. edbermac Mar 2013 #158
Omg, RON! takes the cake!! RedCappedBandit Mar 2013 #162
The Tire and Rim Association estimates that 80 percent of all blowouts NoGOPZone Mar 2013 #163
That 1st guy had a run in with Louis CK too XRubicon Mar 2013 #164
My vote is for RON! Arkana Mar 2013 #166
EarG, we obviously needed that! Hekate Mar 2013 #168
Bob Boudelang would be proud of Ron... L0oniX Mar 2013 #169
My favorite is "I have not used fowl language." DFW Mar 2013 #170
Dittoheads seem to have a problem with spelling Faygo Kid Mar 2013 #173
I loves me some hate mail! Vinnie From Indy Mar 2013 #174
the aged cur riverwalker Mar 2013 #175
I had to go with repungent stench caseymoz Mar 2013 #177
If he wins Spirochete Mar 2013 #198
I think you repungent stench of a excuse for speak is illterate and incoherent. Initech Mar 2013 #178
Bob Boudelang is out there somewhere thinking pscot Mar 2013 #179
Haven't read yet. I restrained myself for dessert. K & R! lonestarnot Mar 2013 #181
What I've learned .... tandot Mar 2013 #182
Wonder who "teached" Ron. He may have just been touched. lonestarnot Mar 2013 #184
Wow! That's some messed up people. David Zephyr Mar 2013 #185
Jesus.... MrMickeysMom Mar 2013 #186
LOL... CherokeeDem Mar 2013 #188
The libtard one Alcibiades Mar 2013 #191
"bag of dicks" are too salty Demonaut Mar 2013 #193
How am I supposed to infiltrate you now? gateley Mar 2013 #195
I have such a....."soft spot" (????) for those that can't understand the 1st Amendment. BobTheSubgenius Mar 2013 #196
I gotta go with Ron on this Spirochete Mar 2013 #197
I voted Ron! also lovemydog Mar 2013 #200
Only those capable of "sovereign thought" Spirochete Mar 2013 #204
Grammar Nazi checking in. There is only ONE "f" in "bafoon." n/t eridani Mar 2013 #208
WOW -- one reading is not enough; each new reading reveals more treasure. eppur_se_muova Mar 2013 #201
Thanks, I needed the laugh! Rhiannon12866 Mar 2013 #202
Eat a bag of dicks!!?? JohnnyRingo Mar 2013 #207
I suppose fowl language would be telling people to eat a bag of cocks? LeftishBrit Mar 2013 #210
So much illiteracy, so little time. Bluzmann57 Mar 2013 #214
What the heck is that truck dude ranting about? DiverDave Mar 2013 #215
It's probably a previous supplier... 47of74 Mar 2013 #239
EarlG Just want to say, I really enjoy your Hatemail postings, please keep it up! Katashi_itto Mar 2013 #218
Doh! Makes me feel a bit more normal. fleabiscuit Mar 2013 #223
So good. It's been so long. Thank you so much. byronius Mar 2013 #224
Quit fucking with his truck! kurtzapril4 Mar 2013 #226
Trying to figure out the concept of "conluding." pauljulian Mar 2013 #227
It just occurred to me.. Permanut Mar 2013 #228
The one titled "my recent ban" needs to be locked up in a mental institution. Total paranoid psycho judesedit Mar 2013 #229
they are calling us stupid, how many basic 1st grade words were misspelled...... NavyDavy Mar 2013 #230
Bag of dicks DainBramaged Mar 2013 #234
Bag of.. Nostrodumbest Mar 2013 #236
Do love the show names part PatrynXX Mar 2013 #237
I was going to vote for the guy who was whining about how the site sucks 47of74 Mar 2013 #238
Orgazinations are bafoons magical thyme Mar 2013 #240
You have a scary job. lexw Mar 2013 #241
I can't believe I missed the voting on this BainsBane Mar 2013 #243
Me too, mercymechap Mar 2013 #244
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