General Discussion

galileoreloaded

(2,571 posts)

40. Glad to answer

Fri Mar 15, 2013, 01:31 PM

Mar 2013

yeah, tactic one is to not get baited by covert or overt attempts to shame Better yet, in groups predominately staffed by females, observing the inherent and self-ascribed ranking helps in parsing loyalty to the best able to further my personal agenda. Unleashing their competitive desire on each other is very effective at removing any roadblocks. I've seen a staff of 3 min wage clerical workers devour and eventually cause the dismissal of a Senior VP with multiple degrees (MBA, MPA) all because the group dynamic allowed their internal ranking structures as corruptible.

All fair in love and war I say.

It's a bit easier with men, because their decision process are more focused on initial attractions to specific cues that lead growth into THEIR personal agendas.

If you want to know more, don't try to shame or bully by using words that attempt to deride my un-apologeticly self serving behaviors. I see you coming a mile away and I'll am trying to do is get to where you want to be. Thanks

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There seems to be a lot of confusion about benevolent sexism. [View all] redqueen Mar 2013 OP

k and r--and waiting for the usual. . . . niyad Mar 2013 #1

Well at this point at least no one can claim ignorance. redqueen Mar 2013 #2

Does this mean we have to stand up snooper2 Mar 2013 #3

There are men who do that? I'm 51 and don't believe I have EVER witnessed that my entire life. ieoeja Mar 2013 #14

You know, I get up whenever lapislzi Mar 2013 #22

Why is polite? MattBaggins Mar 2013 #181

Sure. But... lapislzi Mar 2013 #225

my head hurts from all the incredibly stupid, and snarky comments on this subject. niyad Mar 2013 #4

My head hurts from that too, as well as redqueen Mar 2013 #7

My advice? RobertEarl Mar 2013 #52

Don't know if it will ever be entirely so treestar Mar 2013 #60

You were #4...how many could there be??? ret5hd Mar 2013 #166

please notice that I said, "on the subject", not "in this thread" .the remark was about ALL the niyad Mar 2013 #171

Not Necessarily Stupid RobinA Mar 2013 #5

It is possible for a man to do things like open a door for women, etc geek tragedy Mar 2013 #6

Yep. Racists were raised to believe certain things about people, too. redqueen Mar 2013 #8

I wouldn't agree that the guy who opens doors geek tragedy Mar 2013 #9

Does not realizing that it's benevolent sexism make it any less an example of benevolent sexism? redqueen Mar 2013 #10

As a learned behavior, it would go under that category. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #13

men do hold the door open for other men. My husband and father hold the door open for everybody. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #18

In one of the other threads I said I hold doors for every/anyone - men, women, children. The bike man Mar 2013 #123

I don't believe opening doors is necessarily sexist. I guess it depends on the individual. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #11

I guess a point (and I do NOT speak for her) geek tragedy Mar 2013 #15

I like to assume someone is just being kind unless they prove otherwise. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #20

Indeed BuddhaGirl Mar 2013 #128

Same here. nt Mojorabbit Mar 2013 #224

Well? Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #29

"Fact of the matter is I treat women and children different than men." lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #33

Fair enough Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #35

agree, but no one called him a pig. I'd say if you have genuine concerns about office safety and bettyellen Mar 2013 #56

great post bettyellin. Those are great ideas. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #64

We have certain things Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #70

I understand that the company is saving money using you as security instead of paying someone. bettyellen Mar 2013 #78

Heh Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #91

I'm the only woman here..... MountainMama Mar 2013 #140

Yes this is a pure hypothetical MattBaggins Mar 2013 #246

Oh hush Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #247

hr/finance GIRLS?????? I am assuming that the people who work for this company are over niyad Mar 2013 #145

Yea ... girls Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #226

I repeat, girls are female children. this is simply another aspect of the nearly invisible and niyad Mar 2013 #231

he doesn't like me driving to store at night because he thinks a mass murderer will kill me while liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #36

but then there you go. Whisp Mar 2013 #62

you are correct. There are no safe places anymore. I send my kids to school everyday knowing liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #66

Guess that would all depend Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #97

my girl is now a grown woman who can do whatever she wants liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #137

some people here hfojvt Mar 2013 #71

Well with my father it is. He doesn't tell other men they shouldn't drive to the store at night. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #77

well my mom hfojvt Mar 2013 #173

That's not sexism per se galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #61

Your motives are admirable wryter2000 Mar 2013 #67

If he's the first there, last to leave, and the defacto security... lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #90

How do you get that from what I said? wryter2000 Mar 2013 #96

It's what he said. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #98

Everyone has points Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #105

Being a woman, Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #229

I used to work second shift and sometimes had to go to the other building where no one else was Nikia Mar 2013 #234

No, you're not sexist, you're just a practical realist and a decent human being. sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #248

To put it simply, let's learn to respect each other as humans first and foremost alp227 Mar 2013 #194

+1000. nt. polly7 Mar 2013 #204

This is critical for men today to understand especially in the workplace. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #12

lol... you use "very feminine tactics" do you? redqueen Mar 2013 #16

Glad to answer galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #40

I am glad I don't work with you. lapislzi Mar 2013 #49

It's how you survive in 2013 America, we reap what we sow galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #55

Gotta say, very weird worldview, dude klook Mar 2013 #138

I'm right there with you and would rather absorb the hits than become the antithesis of who I strive TheKentuckian Mar 2013 #241

Are you aware that every thing you described is a definition MattBaggins Mar 2013 #243

"I fiercely protect my own" MattBaggins Mar 2013 #245

ditto noiretextatique Mar 2013 #94

Heh Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #110

i vote gibberish noiretextatique Mar 2013 #118

That's how educated people speak, I'm not sure what else to say.n/t galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #134

Oh please. davidthegnome Mar 2013 #212

are you a hermit, then? HiPointDem Mar 2013 #106

Oy olddots Mar 2013 #92

It's a tricky course to navigate. lapislzi Mar 2013 #28

lol Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #31

Your screen name AND an aphorism appear a paradox. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #44

"very feminine tactics" geek tragedy Mar 2013 #68

I wish! Maybe then I could return them. Ugh. n/t galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #72

irony. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #73

are you serious? noiretextatique Mar 2013 #93

Women and often men do cry at work 2013. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #133

whatever noiretextatique Mar 2013 #135

All the people who I have seen or heard about crying at work fit one or all of these scenarios Nikia Mar 2013 #230

and I have seen women specifically cry because men abuse them with benevolence which galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #240

Nothing says feminist thought quite like "crushing" women in business. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #209

thats the point...it does galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #228

No, sometimes discussions are about women. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #244

OK...somebody just tell me....OPEN THE DOOR FOR WOMEN OR NOT?!?!?!?!?! Taverner Mar 2013 #17

I think we should all stand around awkwardly blinking at each other... Bicoastal Mar 2013 #30

Great response #2 n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #85

true true olddots Mar 2013 #95

As the Who put it: deutsey Mar 2013 #126

LOL Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #150

We demand glass sliding self-opening doors everywhere. Except at our homes - hell no! freshwest Mar 2013 #239

Yes Bok_Tukalo Mar 2013 #34

Just don't do anything for anyone unless they ask you specifically for help The2ndWheel Mar 2013 #37

Open it for anyone whom you think might need assistance at that moment. ronnie624 Mar 2013 #42

Open the dor for everyone. WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #45

YES! All the time, every time! n/t lapislzi Mar 2013 #50

LOL After reading these threads, I'm ready to start slamming doors... WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2013 #54

Great response #1 n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #84

NO! Instead hold the door for anyone regardless of gender, then you're not sexist. Lionessa Mar 2013 #87

According to Miss Manners... Matariki Mar 2013 #132

"Simple, no?" redqueen Mar 2013 #170

What a concept. Just be a decent person klook Mar 2013 #211

BTW...What is the proper way to open a door for someone? Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #157

There's a seconds to opening thingy Taverner Mar 2013 #242

K&R. Didn't see that one coming, did you? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #19

"my co-workers are going to kill their own damn spiders" snooper2 Mar 2013 #24

Ha! I am the designated Rodent Disposal Response Unit. lapislzi Mar 2013 #53

Just let me know when you need a spider taken care of. NCTraveler Mar 2013 #38

So, what do you say, and/or do about women who expect such gestures? MadHound Mar 2013 #21

At the rate we are going every male on this upaloopa Mar 2013 #23

Yep. 99Forever Mar 2013 #26

Or more educated. nt NCTraveler Mar 2013 #39

Wow, great post. You are awesome, redqueen. Zorra Mar 2013 #25

I agree Thank you Red Queen olddots Mar 2013 #99

Would you consider the phrase "women and children first" to be exemplary of benevolent sexism? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #27

How could it not? n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #81

Thanks, but I'm very interested in the OP's take on this. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #88

doubt you'll get an answer. as that is one of the problems with identity politics. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #108

i answered. we have had threads on it in our feminist forum. you would be wrong. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #113

no, you didn't answer the question at all. you answered some other question in your own HiPointDem Mar 2013 #219

ha ha ha. you are right. i thought i read him asking about the sinking ship scenerio. hmmm... nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #221

i think it is ridiculous. there will be women that kick ass and are needed in an emergency. seabeyond Mar 2013 #112

Sorry, I didn't realize you were trying to pick a fight with the OP Bay Boy Mar 2013 #101

I recommended her thread. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #104

In times of war, and those are often, women and children are often first Whisp Mar 2013 #154

that whole womens first thing is fabricated to an extent. i do not remember it, seabeyond Mar 2013 #160

thanks, I'll look too, sounds interesting. n/t Whisp Mar 2013 #163

it was. i just forgot cause today i simply believe there will be useful capable women shoving men seabeyond Mar 2013 #165

It's an individual thing. If someone is not sensitive enough to easily recognize and understand Zorra Mar 2013 #232

Of all the things to discuss in this world Apophis Mar 2013 #32

We had a big to do about this when I was in upaloopa Mar 2013 #41

Many people can posses multiple concerns simultaneously. LanternWaste Mar 2013 #51

even though enough folks have explained it to you beyond the holding of the door, this is where you seabeyond Mar 2013 #115

It's stupid to put down people for being nice. Apophis Mar 2013 #121

it is even more stupid to claim people are putting down others who are being nice. seabeyond Mar 2013 #122

This message was self-deleted by its author Apophis Mar 2013 #124

if I could rewrite history I would olddots Mar 2013 #43

Open the dor for everyone. WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #46

With one side of the arguement saying.... Purplehazed Mar 2013 #47

I believe that benevolent sexism is "sometimes" good. ieoeja Mar 2013 #48

put off asking for help treestar Mar 2013 #57

It's not that I don't recognize it, it's that I don't care LittleBlue Mar 2013 #58

+1 Go Vols Mar 2013 #131

My basic rules of polite behavior are based on the principle that MineralMan Mar 2013 #59

Seems like this is a "problem" solved by a simple "Thank you" or "No, thank you". Tierra_y_Libertad Mar 2013 #63

As I get older I find there's 'benevolent ageism' too lunatica Mar 2013 #65

Benevolent ageism is actually the law in places. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #69

Yup. And individuals decide for themselves if they fit that MineralMan Mar 2013 #75

I'll offer my seat to a woman Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #117

I think of that law as being quite deliberately aimed towards actions that are benevolent lunatica Mar 2013 #76

I wouldn't call that benevolent ageism. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #79

Yes. Condescencion born of stereotyping lunatica Mar 2013 #82

At age 67, I have no issue with it. MineralMan Mar 2013 #74

I agree with you on this lunatica Mar 2013 #80

I've realized that I'm the age of most checkout clerks' MineralMan Mar 2013 #83

The first Boy Scout that Bay Boy Mar 2013 #86

Social security is entirely predicated on "benevolent ageism". lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #120

I thought it was based on... Bay Boy Mar 2013 #129

The whole point is that the elderly can't work, right? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #130

My point is not about common sense laws and social programs lunatica Mar 2013 #136

From the link: Bay Boy Mar 2013 #89

not an example of 'benevolent sexism' though. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #100

You don't think letting her fold his laundry... Bay Boy Mar 2013 #103

Maybe it is. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #114

no. it's an example of a strange creepy guy being creepy. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #220

Definitely more offensive to relinquish women to domestic activities. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #222

thank you redq. i was gonna do this but, walking out the door. seeing the nonthinking replies were seabeyond Mar 2013 #102

Holding the door is just one thing. It really says a lot when it's obvious how little people know redqueen Mar 2013 #177

I guess lighting a woman's cigarette is totally out of the question ... Bake Mar 2013 #107

Well it is polite if she is busy breast feeding at the olive garden and needs help lighting it (nt) The Straight Story Mar 2013 #109

I don't think there is a lot of confusion over the topic. Rex Mar 2013 #111

Not so much confusion as cognitive dissonance. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #116

Yep that is it right there. Rex Mar 2013 #119

I don't swear when ladies are present. Nye Bevan Mar 2013 #125

And would you believe there was a time in some restaurants that a server would snappyturtle Mar 2013 #127

old here, as well. I can still remember times that the check was automatically placed in front niyad Mar 2013 #147

yes. i remember. and i always had a blast picking it up. but then, i recognized the hypocrisy of seabeyond Mar 2013 #148

You're so right! I'd forgotten....the age thingie I guess! nt snappyturtle Mar 2013 #149

I once went to a restaurant where some menus had the prices, and others did not. Nye Bevan Mar 2013 #151

yup. lol. totally forgot that one, lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #152

Never saw that but did see both menus withoout pricing....which always meant $$$$$. nt snappyturtle Mar 2013 #153

oh yes, that one, as well. niyad Mar 2013 #155

Things like this is why the end of the PBS show makers was so depressing. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #139

and some women have never participated and uses it to dismiss feminism without thinking thru seabeyond Mar 2013 #141

I certainly hope you are not trying to accuse me in some backhanded way of sitting in ignorance. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #143

i do not know raine. i have yet to see an opinion on sexism. only feminists. and what is not seabeyond Mar 2013 #146

The only posts you have read of mine are the ones you choose to have read. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #158

I did not say I didn't believe in benevolent sexism. That said, I don't believe in many theories. seabeyond Mar 2013 #162

You are now just being obtuse and beligerant. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #169

Well done. DURHAM D Mar 2013 #167

Very interesting article - thanks for the link. klook Mar 2013 #142

I appreciate this. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #144

Thank you. Apophis Mar 2013 #168

What are you talking about when you say "stuff like this"? redqueen Mar 2013 #174

I work on the 8th floor of a 15 story building.... Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #156

that is all. we had a conversation about it in our forum. discussion. no more or less. and that seabeyond Mar 2013 #159

No, we need to keep this thread alive until everyone has the rules down... snooper2 Mar 2013 #238

This happens where I work too justiceischeap Mar 2013 #186

With all of our problems....WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE? peace13 Mar 2013 #161

cause guys started a big boob thread to have their kicks talking about womens boobs and in that seabeyond Mar 2013 #164

: ) peace13 Mar 2013 #184

starving and homeless people are not the only problems in this country, or anywhere else in the niyad Mar 2013 #172

Aaaa, I never said one thing. peace13 Mar 2013 #178

"arguing about holding a the door open for a woman degrades women" redqueen Mar 2013 #180

Then flipping hide the thread if you care so little! Why are you freaking out? redqueen Mar 2013 #176

If opening a door for a person can be sexual harassment then this world is lost. peace13 Mar 2013 #179

Yeah, I didn't say it was sexual harassment. redqueen Mar 2013 #182

This is the kind of stuff we discuss all the time in feminist theory courses. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #183

I think it is pretty low on the chart but hey.... peace13 Mar 2013 #185

It's called deconstructionism. And it's important. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #187

Deconstruct away. peace13 Mar 2013 #189

Most sexism now a days is covert and fragmented. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #190

If you are a female I just can't believe that you fall for that bull. peace13 Mar 2013 #191

Play footsy? Do you think this is a game or something? Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #192

This is similar reasoning a republican uses when discussing affirmative action. n/t egduj Mar 2013 #175

Maybe every time we bring up a feminist issue that people just love derailing, we should place bets redqueen Mar 2013 #188

"We"? Perhaps the "redqueen" name is going to your head cthulu2016 Mar 2013 #193

really? lordy, lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #197

I was just accused of not helping the homeless for practicing feminist deconstruction. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #196

i love the deconstruction conversation. i had not heard it that way, but it is exactly seabeyond Mar 2013 #198

Even when we discuss something like benevolent sexism we say "possible sexism..." Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #200

true that. good point. thanks. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #202

Every woman that ever slapped a man should be arrested. Bonobo Mar 2013 #195

agreed. i have never advocated women having the right to physically assault anyone. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #199

Excellent. Bonobo Mar 2013 #201

bonobo. you are arguing with the wrong person. seabeyond Mar 2013 #203

I believe it was Marlyn Frye who talked about obsession with male access to everything. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #205

The point of this thread is equality. Bonobo Mar 2013 #206

This is a thread chiefly on the discussion of benevelant sexism against women Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #208

The issues are entirely related. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #213

How is benevelant sexism against women related to violence against men? Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #214

Sexism Bonobo Mar 2013 #216

Yeah, I'm not playing that game with you either. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #217

I am sorry but I think you just quit when you realized I was right. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #218

Ain't that the truth Matariki Mar 2013 #210

It happens. Every. Single. Time. n/t MadrasT Mar 2013 #227

I agree. It is battery. Nobody should be slapping anyone. Luminous Animal Mar 2013 #207

Hmm davidthegnome Mar 2013 #215

Wow - so much 'study' and hand wringing over molehill - made into mountain. Zax2me Mar 2013 #223

Well, rq, you obviously hit dead center of the bullseye with your OP subject line. Zorra Mar 2013 #233

It really isn't complicated. And it ties into rape culture, so it is important. redqueen Mar 2013 #235

It's a strawman to use to bash feminists gollygee Mar 2013 #236

+1 n/t fishwax Mar 2013 #237