General Discussion

sigmasix

(794 posts)

63. sure

Sat Mar 16, 2013, 04:17 AM

Mar 2013

I've been slapped a few times by women- never pressed charges though I could have-I did stop the relationship and discontinue seeing the abusive women that used physical violence as a tool to get thier way. As a young boy I was raped by a young woman. I've been rape-shamed by several neofeminists, when i share my story. It has been woman-splained to me that the abuses I suffered were meaningless because of the historic disparity between women and men in our culture. It sure FELT like I was being violated and victimized because of my gender. The long-term psychological effects have been pretty shitty as well- but neofeminists insist that men aren't really hurt by women- I guess I deserved it- abusers, rapists and sexists always blame the victim, no matter what the gender of the victimizer is, we should never allow violence to be an accepted response to unhappiness within a relationship or vengeance upon a gender.

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The Face Slap � Our Unspoken Tolerance Of Violence and Sexism [View all] Bonobo Mar 2013 OP

I remember the lady who drowned her kids in the tub, many said it was the man's fault The Straight Story Mar 2013 #1

Are you talking about the Andrea Yeager case .... etherealtruth Mar 2013 #90

I have been here a long time The Straight Story Mar 2013 #91

There is some culpability of the "non'-mentally ill partner etherealtruth Mar 2013 #94

One example The Straight Story Mar 2013 #93

Actually, he was at fault for leaving her alone with the kids WolverineDG Mar 2013 #95

I don't even believe "women" can be spared in Texas etherealtruth Mar 2013 #106

Prosecutorial misconduct WolverineDG Mar 2013 #108

I�ve always hated frogmarch Mar 2013 #2

It will be interesting to see the (lack of) attention this OP gets. Bonobo Mar 2013 #3

not sure how much attention I will give you but Whisp Mar 2013 #4

I don't need your attention, thanks. Bonobo Mar 2013 #6

a very strange thing that you and I have not lived the same lives and seen the same things. Whisp Mar 2013 #8

Compared to the exact same level of force from a man. Bonobo Mar 2013 #9

that wasn't what I asked but Whisp Mar 2013 #12

"Dude", yes. Bonobo Mar 2013 #13

I don't think you understood my question, but that's okay, I know you have other things on your mind Whisp Mar 2013 #16

seem to have this clips right at hand olddots Mar 2013 #24

indeed In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #97

Radical feminists would not generally accept that it's possible for the motivations to be the same. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #21

I was slapped - really hard- in the face and not one person did a thing, everyone looked up and bettyellen Mar 2013 #30

I'm really sorry that happened to you. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #33

Thanks, I have no clue WTF that guy was meaning to do. If he thought he could charm or bully me bettyellen Mar 2013 #36

bettyellen. I am so sorry that happened to you! In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #99

already answered. and will answer again. hitting another person is wrong and should warrant an seabeyond Mar 2013 #101

I have never heard or seen a woman slap a man outside the movies. DU Men- is this actually"a thing" bettyellen Mar 2013 #5

I have seen it. Bonobo Mar 2013 #7

Well, I've slapped many men on the back- while congratulating them. And I have seen a few parents of bettyellen Mar 2013 #10

A hard slap on the thighs? Sure they do. Bonobo Mar 2013 #11

Wow, that is a new one on me. It'll be interesting to read if this has happened to any DUers. bettyellen Mar 2013 #14

Likely that men wouldn't admit it often for a couple of reasons. Bonobo Mar 2013 #35

my only assumption is that the person (male or female) who hits is way out of control. bettyellen Mar 2013 #37

OK, I guess it is situational like most things. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #38

True, and I don't think I am in any way your average American woman. I am not nearly as genteel bettyellen Mar 2013 #44

really? you have seen slapping movies? Whisp Mar 2013 #20

You mad, bro? Bonobo Mar 2013 #31

aggression? no way. Whisp Mar 2013 #103

Not in my experience. Common Sense Party Mar 2013 #45

sure sigmasix Mar 2013 #63

I'm very sorry for the way you have been treated. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #96

Well, I've never been slapped by a woman. MineralMan Mar 2013 #89

The last two sentences of this story did it in. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #15

LOL. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #34

+ 1 cali Mar 2013 #58

He put it up as flypaper. JTFrog Mar 2013 #86

I agree with this: In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #100

+1 treestar Mar 2013 #105

I have to admit that I've seen men get slapped before, hughee99 Mar 2013 #17

You're very honest. More so than others here. Bonobo Mar 2013 #32

Here's one thing you don't seem to understand, dear. Zoeisright Mar 2013 #53

Yes, the men always deserve it. Bonobo Mar 2013 #55

Christ on a crutch this is a dumb post Matariki Mar 2013 #75

^^^ In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #102

all abusers justify their abuse with 'they deserved it' fizzgig Mar 2013 #110

It seems to me a simple rule is hands to yourself unless it is conscentual dsc Mar 2013 #18

^^^ this ^^^ TDale313 Mar 2013 #29

It's mainly because women aren't physically strong or really violent LittleBlue Mar 2013 #19

My daughter slapped me olddots Mar 2013 #22

She needs to move. Common Sense Party Mar 2013 #46

Setting aside the issue of fairness or equality... lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #23

what do you think of the Violence Against Women's Act? Do you think it's a sham? n/t Whisp Mar 2013 #25

15% of violent relationships are nonreciprocal male batterers. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #27

I've seen a few face slaps working in the bar. polly7 Mar 2013 #26

Somewhat off topic, but... PotatoChip Mar 2013 #109

in movies and TV there is a lot of punching hfojvt Mar 2013 #28

I will admit to having actually shoved a man's head through the wall beside my door. PDJane Mar 2013 #39

Die Hard just started on ActionMAX... snooper2 Mar 2013 #40

Relentlessly poked fun of by "Airplane" longship Mar 2013 #41

Nothing compared to these guys.... davidn3600 Mar 2013 #47

Men write the scripts, men produce the movies. Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #42

This is important. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #48

So. Fucking. True. MotherPetrie Mar 2013 #51

It does not explain this video. Bonobo Mar 2013 #54

As long as it's a "garden variety" slap across the face... mwrguy Mar 2013 #43

Dear Bonoboo, I am really sorry you've been slappled. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY Luminous Animal Mar 2013 #49

I have never been slapped. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #50

i'm sorry. I thought you had. But I am totally supportive of men creating Luminous Animal Mar 2013 #62

I was inspired to write this OP because of the "benevolent sexism" threads. Bonobo Mar 2013 #64

Oh yeah, that's the SAME thing as a beating. Zoeisright Mar 2013 #52

Never said it was. Bonobo Mar 2013 #56

A man slapping a woman is treated as nearly the same thing... Silent3 Mar 2013 #88

yeah, hitting people sucks. duh. But trying to compare as YOU often do cali Mar 2013 #57

I never did that, so you should have stopped at your first sentence. Bonobo Mar 2013 #59

This message was self-deleted by its author cali Mar 2013 #81

My apologies Bonobo Mar 2013 #82

Short answer... Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #60

The issue goes hand in hand with "benevolent sexism". Bonobo Mar 2013 #61

I am familiar with the ongoing discussions that inspired this thread... Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #67

Then your response is unnecessary. Bonobo Mar 2013 #69

Oh FFS. Nice answer. Violence is not justified, period. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #65

Women shouldn't hit men. Did you really need me to type that out? Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #73

honestly, it sounds better. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #76

My apologies, I suppose I should have been more clear. Time for bed. n/t Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #77

hey, no worries. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #78

I don't think it happens all that much in reality. It's a comedic shorthand (excuse the pun) Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #66

Hmmm, well the data on domestic abuse suggests there is more on the part of women. Bonobo Mar 2013 #68

I don't rightfully know other than what I've seen and experienced. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #70

If your partner slaps you, you are NOT in a healthy relationship Matariki Mar 2013 #71

I'm not sure counseling could overcome being slapped by a partner to be honest. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #72

You misread my post Matariki Mar 2013 #74

Ah alright sorry. Yeah I guess I just could never picture staying with someone who hit me. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #79

On the one hand DonCoquixote Mar 2013 #80

Bonobo, I started a thread about this some years ago. In films and on TV, raccoon Mar 2013 #83

It could be, it could be... Bonobo Mar 2013 #84

When a woman is violent with a man, it's treated as in independent incident... Silent3 Mar 2013 #85

I don't think people should hit other people. MadrasT Mar 2013 #87

men could slap women in movies under certain circumstances not that long ago arely staircase Mar 2013 #92

IIRC Aristotle mentions this in the poetics Recursion Mar 2013 #98

Does anyone really do this except on soap operas? treestar Mar 2013 #104

I am more shocked by adult doctors slapping newborn children on the buttocks geek tragedy Mar 2013 #107

I was slapped in the face once as a child from a woman who was caring for me liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #111