General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)Here's the thing, and my opinion on the matter, as a woman and a self-identified feminist.
It's all about context and, frankly, generational. I think men of a certain age probably hold the door open because of benevolent sexism. It was how they were raised to think and act. I think most people these days, male or female, hold doors open out of common courtesy. If I was walking through a door and someone was close behind, it would be rude to just let go of the door. So, I take a few extra seconds from my day and hold the door so they can grab onto it. Men and women do the same for me and when they do, I say thanks.
Anyway, attitudes change with generations and men are less-likely to do something out of sexist regard than their forefathers--like holding doors open (een if they were taught that it was the polite thing to do for women by watching their fathers' actions).
If we question the motive of all common courtesy and create straw man arguments from them without looking at context and generational attitudes, then it becomes a barely concealed shit-stirring thread and no real discussion can be had on the subject, which happens to be benevolent sexism.
What I find amazing is the amount of defensive responses in these threads. It would make anyone appear guilty of sexism, whether they are or aren't, because suddenly some men on DU feel as though THEY are somehow being victimized by the feminists of DU for wanting to have a discussion or possibly educate those that are interested.
And to answer your question Orrex, most people won't know if it's benevolent sexism but men reading these threads and opening doors solely for women because they're women, THEY will now know that their actions are sexist and that's all that really matters, isn't it, self-awareness?