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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]ismnotwasm
(42,674 posts)266. I don't bother with thinking about it.
My husband will open the door for me, not because I'm a woman, but because he tries to find the even smallest of ways to show he loves me. He'll open doors for the elderly, for people with packages, people in wheelchairs. He doesn't do it for women specifically--it would never occur to him it was needed. The original example evolved from times when men were expected to do that; it was an example. I can't believe how much attention this is generating. I would have thought men would 'get' this.
For the men and women who don't, there are groups like these;
TWRA Commandments
1. Chastity ~ Ethereal Virgin
Chastity is an essential aspect of the TWRA. We feel that when a woman has premarital sex she is being used by the man she is with. By not expecting commitment (marriage) from a man before a woman has sex with him. She is in turn devaluing herself and her whole being. As a result, women begin feeling worthless and used. The TWRA woman on the other hand recognizes her power as a feminine woman. Feminine women are powerful. Only by reaffirming our feminine natures do we instill the possible path toward perfection, virtue and self-improvement: to do this, women must follow the path of the ethereal virgin.
An ethereal virgin is a woman who is a virgin in a spiritual and physical sense. She stays committed to her purity and chastity until marriage. After marriage, although in the physical sense she is no longer clean as a virgin. The ethereal virgin is still clean in a spiritual sense. Because of her pure and chaste spirit, she remains the ethereal virgin after having intercourse. The ethereal virgin has sex for the right reasons: love, the bonding of souls, pleasure and reproductive purposes. As a result, she cannot be considered a slut as she is morally superior to all others. The ethereal virgin remains faithful to her Guardian all her life and instills important virtues of the ethereal virgin to her daughters. This is so that her daughters may undertake the beautiful path of divine feminine power and a path of self-development. If a woman cheats, she is no longer an ethereal virgin. In the eyes of her husband, the ethereal virgin will always be seen as his pure innocent girl. That is the best gift a real man can receive.
2. Submission
Submission is yet another essential aspect. This is important because submission to our men and the feminine mystique go hand in hand. Women are naturally attracted to aggressive dominant men. However, a real alpha male has both qualities of an aggressive dominant man. An alpha male also has the qualities that urge him to protect his woman. Alpha male recognizes that in order for him to form a mutually beneficial relationship with a woman he must undertake responsibilities. These responsibilities include being the breadwinner, leader and protector of his ethereal virgin. It is her virginity and moral purity that is the ultimate gift to the alpha male. In order, to gain the protection and leadership of an alpha male a woman must submit. She first does this by submitting her body to him: by keeping pure for marriage. She then submits to him in areas where the man is superior such as conducting business outside of the home, deciding whom his woman will socialize with and so forth.
Ultimately, the male then is responsible for fostering the active energy outside of the home and mediating the womans contacts with the outside world. The woman is responsible for the internal sphere of the home. She is responsible for the mans well-being and the well-being of herself in order to fulfill her duty as his wife. She must submit to his decisions in regards to the outside world for her own protection. Once the woman is protected by the active masculine energies. She is free to express her passive feminine nature furthering the well-being of the family unit. Thus, both man and woman have a separate but equal responsibility. They both have separate but equal rewards
1. Chastity ~ Ethereal Virgin
Chastity is an essential aspect of the TWRA. We feel that when a woman has premarital sex she is being used by the man she is with. By not expecting commitment (marriage) from a man before a woman has sex with him. She is in turn devaluing herself and her whole being. As a result, women begin feeling worthless and used. The TWRA woman on the other hand recognizes her power as a feminine woman. Feminine women are powerful. Only by reaffirming our feminine natures do we instill the possible path toward perfection, virtue and self-improvement: to do this, women must follow the path of the ethereal virgin.
An ethereal virgin is a woman who is a virgin in a spiritual and physical sense. She stays committed to her purity and chastity until marriage. After marriage, although in the physical sense she is no longer clean as a virgin. The ethereal virgin is still clean in a spiritual sense. Because of her pure and chaste spirit, she remains the ethereal virgin after having intercourse. The ethereal virgin has sex for the right reasons: love, the bonding of souls, pleasure and reproductive purposes. As a result, she cannot be considered a slut as she is morally superior to all others. The ethereal virgin remains faithful to her Guardian all her life and instills important virtues of the ethereal virgin to her daughters. This is so that her daughters may undertake the beautiful path of divine feminine power and a path of self-development. If a woman cheats, she is no longer an ethereal virgin. In the eyes of her husband, the ethereal virgin will always be seen as his pure innocent girl. That is the best gift a real man can receive.
2. Submission
Submission is yet another essential aspect. This is important because submission to our men and the feminine mystique go hand in hand. Women are naturally attracted to aggressive dominant men. However, a real alpha male has both qualities of an aggressive dominant man. An alpha male also has the qualities that urge him to protect his woman. Alpha male recognizes that in order for him to form a mutually beneficial relationship with a woman he must undertake responsibilities. These responsibilities include being the breadwinner, leader and protector of his ethereal virgin. It is her virginity and moral purity that is the ultimate gift to the alpha male. In order, to gain the protection and leadership of an alpha male a woman must submit. She first does this by submitting her body to him: by keeping pure for marriage. She then submits to him in areas where the man is superior such as conducting business outside of the home, deciding whom his woman will socialize with and so forth.
Ultimately, the male then is responsible for fostering the active energy outside of the home and mediating the womans contacts with the outside world. The woman is responsible for the internal sphere of the home. She is responsible for the mans well-being and the well-being of herself in order to fulfill her duty as his wife. She must submit to his decisions in regards to the outside world for her own protection. Once the woman is protected by the active masculine energies. She is free to express her passive feminine nature furthering the well-being of the family unit. Thus, both man and woman have a separate but equal responsibility. They both have separate but equal rewards
http://femininemystiquetwra.wordpress.com/twra-commandments/
Have fun all you old fashioned ethereal virgins and alpha males. No feminists allowed in that group.
Personally, Common courtesy is my rule of thumb.
BTW If some is leering at you and holds the door open for you to get a good look at your ass, -- NOT benevolent
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I've had guys do that for (to) me also and I'm a guy. Pisses me off, too.
Gidney N Cloyd
Mar 2013
#25
Oh my God I hate that. Drives me crazy. Same thing with cars who refuse to take right of way
Recursion
Mar 2013
#63
I'm on Ignore too. Don't remember posting anything obnoxious or hateful to anyone..
Auntie Bush
Mar 2013
#195
"And PS, I hold the door open for both sexes when in a position to do so."......
socialist_n_TN
Mar 2013
#41
One of the best anecdotes I ever read, that sums up my own philosophy on the matter:
Geoff R. Casavant
Mar 2013
#116
I was 8 months pregnant, standing in a bus, & the only one who got up for me was an old lady
Hekate
Mar 2013
#258
Well, if someone is close enough ahead of me that they just let the door slam in my face.
HuckleB
Mar 2013
#144
Who cares? Really, these discussions about benevolent sexism seem so trivial
snappyturtle
Mar 2013
#5
because from the original thread on this, the same men who exhibit benevolent sexism also exhibit
magical thyme
Mar 2013
#28
since no one is actually discussing the concept of benevolent sexism, only about damn doors, ya...
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#56
I'm still trying to figure out what I should do in the case of rotating doors
Major Nikon
Mar 2013
#92
ya, cause this is such a fuckin honest conversation you men are having Op after OP to diss
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#95
ya. exactly. as opposed to the fuckin' other way around. and do not fuckin tell me to lighten up
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#102
Actually, Major, rotating doors might be the only answer to this vexing dilemma.
NaturalHigh
Mar 2013
#228
still no link. this would be exactly the example of you men manufacturing your outrage
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#135
Hey, a question for you. I call my 4 yo daughter "baby", "sweetie", and "pumpkin" a lot.
cleanhippie
Mar 2013
#139
i call my two sons sugarplum and sweetiepie and they are 18 and 16. is that wrong?
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#143
thank you for noticing where this bullshit started. a definition given because it was ASKEd for.
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#78
if it looks petty, it's because some have built strawmen designed to make it look petty
fishwax
Mar 2013
#157
wow. so the bottom line. a person asked for a definition. i gave a definition. and this is what
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#125
and i explained to you the discussion about doors was manufactured, made up, to diss feminism.
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#141
yes. you are seeing a repeated lie saying feminist are outraged about doors. there is not a single
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#150
Why are you continuing to pretend that feminists are talking about opening doors?
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#184
Feminist are not framing it about doors. There are OPs after OPs LYING
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#188
You are blaming feminists for what others are doing. THEY are doing the framing
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#194
we are not spending the time on it or making the issue on it. none of us are outraged, or even
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#54
this has gone so fuckin beyond childish to dishonestly disgusting. some troll at 46 starting an OP
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#96
As a lifelong feminist, you just jumped in with the posse that is trying to
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#106
My mother once scolded me for failing to hold a door open for a young lady.
NaturalHigh
Mar 2013
#39
nor the need to figure out you are being played and no feminist is making an issue. men are creating
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#88
except the conversation is not about benevolent sexism. all have told you we open doors also and not
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#172
That was really cute, how he blamed you for other people's dismissive mocking and trivializing.
redqueen
Mar 2013
#174
it would be an example of benevolent sexism then a definition explaining. lying that feminist on du
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#222
again. show me on feminist that has suggested men should not open a door, or that a feminist is
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#235
i do not care if people put me on ignore. you tell me, yet do not seem to have an issue people lyin
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#225
wtf it is is a definition of what benevolent sexism is. you know, answering a question another post
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#224
it was in the OP. the poster asked what it was. and you are going on and on about me,
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#236
this example is being overused and it is something both sexes now do for each other
treestar
Mar 2013
#57
Given the conditions you describe, it is not possible to know and I don't analyze it. n/t
MadrasT
Mar 2013
#65
If I ever see a women assaulting a man because he held the door open for her based on her gender...
sibelian
Mar 2013
#176
I don't think sexism is 'benevolent', but not letting a door slam on the person behind you is.
Sunlei
Mar 2013
#68
This whole thing started when someone asked what benevolent sexism was...
lumberjack_jeff
Mar 2013
#99
thank you for a breath of honesty. what has been created, literally manufactured over the last 24
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#104
It's a polite thing to do. Period. I do it for other people, regardless of gender, they do it for me
idwiyo
Mar 2013
#108
There is noting to know. I am sick and tired of "theoretical constructs", definitions, and
idwiyo
Mar 2013
#181
Benevolent Sexism is not trivial and it is certainly fucking not about opening doors...
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#126
Of course they find evidence supporting their "theoretical constructs" because they are looking for
idwiyo
Mar 2013
#186
The people who are outraged are the people acting so offended that anyone would treat the issue
redqueen
Mar 2013
#122
only if you say so dude. you and other men really obsessing over the damn doors
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#131
you and your fellow men are running around outraged swooning on the damn couch being
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#129
no... i have watched 24 hours of swooning and po boys being victimized with lies yawl are creating
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#138
Yep. All those who are pretending that benevolent sexism is about doors...
Luminous Animal
Mar 2013
#132
Notice that the OP is staying far away from any discussion of the actual issue.
redqueen
Mar 2013
#173
Why does someone who does something nice for you have to have a motive when he opens the
southernyankeebelle
Mar 2013
#142
I will say this much, an ill wind blows through DU of late. Divide and conquer
Exultant Democracy
Mar 2013
#187
no one would dare bring up benevolent sexism. a boob thread though, ya, that is what started this.
seabeyond
Mar 2013
#234
The real question is, what do you do when a man CLOSES a door? What then?
Warren DeMontague
Mar 2013
#243