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LittleBlue

(10,362 posts)

53. I can only speak for myself and the people I know

Sun Mar 17, 2013, 03:21 PM

Mar 2013

Sometimes the context is obvious. If the woman is yelling "Help! He's abducting me!" of course I will run up and stop the situation immediately. If the woman is drunk and yelling "I'll kill you, you f***** b****" then yeah, I'll make a not-sexist assumption that she is in fact hysterical and possibly violent/drugged out of her mind. If the guy is dragging her into a van or has a weapon, it's time to intervene physically.

All I can say is that the bystanders might have known the context, or incorrectly assumed a context that had nothing to do with genders. Many assume the cops are always right, that isn't sexism, it's the bias against someone who looks angry being restrained. The person who raises their voice first in an argument is often incorrectly assumed to be wrong because they lose composure. I don't know why all her male friends made this assumption, but it doesn't seem representative of any situation I've been in.

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May I please have the attention of all my fellow males [View all] Arcanetrance Mar 2013 OP

Sexism? I thought we were talking about sex! randome Mar 2013 #1

Mmmmmwah! to you! Squinch Mar 2013 #2

I will never hold my breath waiting for others to see logic I will pass out Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #3

I believe they see the logic olddots Mar 2013 #24

''but its not about holding the damn door open'' Whisp Mar 2013 #4

k and r--and THANK YOU niyad Mar 2013 #5

Spot on! Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #6

Thank you. I was going to write something like this, ZombieHorde Mar 2013 #7

Maybe it's time to consider the possibility that your argument wasn't persuasive. LittleBlue Mar 2013 #8

So because the public doesn't like it we shouldn't accept it Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #9

No. Do continue LittleBlue Mar 2013 #11

I'm assuming that you don't understand what it is like to be dismissed simply because 1monster Mar 2013 #14

Do you think that if a woman was restraining her LittleBlue Mar 2013 #20

are you advocating that the men were correct, and the situation should be ignored? bettyellen Mar 2013 #29

No. LittleBlue Mar 2013 #36

sticking to the incident in question- what was interesting was that the men present didn't imagine bettyellen Mar 2013 #39

I can only speak for myself and the people I know LittleBlue Mar 2013 #53

In your case, wouldn't you rather the police come and sort out the situation Jamastiene Mar 2013 #40

By the time the cops get there LittleBlue Mar 2013 #50

The scene was exactly as I described. They were the only two involved. 1monster Mar 2013 #60

While we are using hypotheticals... Jamastiene Mar 2013 #38

??? sibelian Mar 2013 #43

I wonder if these people really thought that restraining a woman Fawke Em Mar 2013 #48

Agreed 100%! If anything would make me hysterical, it would be being restrained against my will. 1monster Mar 2013 #62

Something that makes me think Bay Boy Mar 2013 #57

There was no one else involved. It was the man and the woman. A second male 1monster Mar 2013 #63

What type of doors are we talking about? Katashi_itto Mar 2013 #10

Isn't this benevolent sexism, too? pamela Mar 2013 #12

I'm not going to slam you I'm only going to say that I started this thread due to the annoyance I Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #13

That's cool. pamela Mar 2013 #15

I took this as him getting in the boat and pulling on an oar. I didnt' think that he was saying, Squinch Mar 2013 #18

Here are two good examples of benevolent sexism that I can think of: Squinch Mar 2013 #21

You've never seen a guy do that to another guy? Marr Mar 2013 #45

Nope, never saw a guy do it to another guy. I get it about twice a week. From men young and old. Squinch Mar 2013 #51

As far as I can tell... Orrex Mar 2013 #25

Outrage at that one person's choice of example has been the subject of those 1000+ posts. Squinch Mar 2013 #30

I haven't seen much outrage or hysteria. Orrex Mar 2013 #34

The sheer volume of threads with the general subject of "don't tell me I'm not a great guy because I Squinch Mar 2013 #37

Sorry, but you don't get to declare that someone is outraged just because it's convenient for you Orrex Mar 2013 #42

Wait a darn second there!!! I don't get to declare that someone is outraged because it's convenient Squinch Mar 2013 #44

If someone has accused feminists of outrage, then they were wrong to do so Orrex Mar 2013 #49

Excellent point! one_voice Mar 2013 #41

He seems to think that it's the men who aren't getting the concept. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #55

Except that it's not sexism. (spoken by a feminist female) nt Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #16

Thank you ismnotwasm Mar 2013 #17

I'm starting to agree. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #19

This warms my feminist heart. Squinch Mar 2013 #22

I'm having the exact same reaction. n/t pamela Mar 2013 #27

you see it all the time here. they manufacture huge drama and blame feminists. bettyellen Mar 2013 #32

Bingo Little Star Mar 2013 #47

I'm going to laugh my ass off if this slinks down the front page of GD. boston bean Mar 2013 #23

I hope it doesn't slink down and wind up on page 5 but if it does so be it some people just aren't Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #26

I hear you. I think it was a great post. boston bean Mar 2013 #28

you'll notice they are actually afraid to play their little games with men. bettyellen Mar 2013 #31

It does speak volumes I wish I could be surprised but I'm not. Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #35

I'll bet when we wore hoop skirts and 4 petticoats libodem Mar 2013 #33

whats a civilized discussion ? olddots Mar 2013 #59

Personally from what I've seen here a thread that doesn't devolve into personal insults and name Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #61

If I treat someone differently because their gender that's sexism? XRubicon Mar 2013 #46

Are you being purposely obtuse on the matter Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #52

Makes sense on planet Vulcan XRubicon Mar 2013 #66

So that's your answer deflection to star trek Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #68

the door holding example was first brought up by people who take "benevolent sexism" quite seriously arely staircase Mar 2013 #54

Well here's an example I know of from personal experience Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #56

that is legit. arely staircase Mar 2013 #58

See but a statement saying that's legit is part of the problem. Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #64

ok so if i agree with you i am still wrong. jesus christ arely staircase Mar 2013 #65

I'm not saying you're wrong at all I was saying a guy saying what is or is not sexism to a woman is Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #67

so you have a problem with women telling men what is sexist or just men telling women? arely staircase Mar 2013 #71

I think we should listen to each other as to what's hurtful to the other Arcanetrance Mar 2013 #72

Again I say, Mmmmwah!! Squinch Mar 2013 #69

My post was an attempt at levity Taverner Mar 2013 #70