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Stargazer09

(2,205 posts)

189. The election was a tipping point in

Mon Mar 18, 2013, 11:23 AM

Mar 2013

one of my long-standing friendships. We were friends in high school, but it was mostly due to it being a small school and to me being so insecure that I ignored her attitude.

In recent years, though, I've learned that she is really a mean person. Her jokes are often put-downs in disguise, and she's made no secret of her disdain for me having a large family (by two different husbands--for shame!).

Like me, she has a teenage son with a serious medical condition that would normally prevent him from being eligible for medical insurance. When I voiced my support for the ACA, as well as for Obama, she came unglued. She said a lot of horrible things, not the least of which was calling my husband a leech for being a disabled vet. I decided that enough was enough, and I unfriended her on Facebook (our only real connection). I also unfriended every classmate who agreed with her rant (the part that was not directed at me), because I'm just tired of dealing with small-minded bigots.

I don't regret walking away.

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So last night I told my oldest sister not to contact me anymore [View all] coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 OP

That's too bad :( shenmue Mar 2013 #1

Please mend with your things up fitman Mar 2013 #16

Why Should She Try to Mend Things With Her Sister? dballance Mar 2013 #150

I agree. I am estranged from my family I have no regrets. I plan on pissing on my fathers grave Katashi_itto Mar 2013 #193

I'm sorry you are fighting with your sister over politics. nt ZombieHorde Mar 2013 #2

+1 on that. nt TheBlackAdder Mar 2013 #9

I think that's a sad thing, I can understand the arguments over weddings and stuff like that Autumn Mar 2013 #3

I hope your and the rest of your family remain close, and i hope one day your sister & you can peacebird Mar 2013 #4

I all would say... snooper2 Mar 2013 #5

This sounds like more than politics. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #6

Well, you've surely heard of Irish Alzheimer's Warpy Mar 2013 #7

Here's to Irish tempers coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #90

hello Aerows Mar 2013 #200

Such an unfortunate situation etherealtruth Mar 2013 #8

True believers never change, just adapt. Try asking why she believes that CK_John Mar 2013 #10

Life's too short to suffer stupid people. Some of the great myths of our dominant culture is that Egalitarian Thug Mar 2013 #11

Unfortunately, I must agree with you, Egalitarian Thug. Awknid Mar 2013 #92

I don't have to worry about this sister coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #103

Teabagger brother and wife same way sigmasix Mar 2013 #159

same here... chillfactor Mar 2013 #114

+1. Family is who you chose, not who you have a misfortune (sometimes) to share DNA with. idwiyo Mar 2013 #111

I hate to hear that. My family is mainly rightwingnuts. Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #12

Avoid discussing politics with her LeftInTX Mar 2013 #13

You're justified in disowning your sister. It's high time for zero-tolerance for right-wingnuttery. ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #14

Agree 100%! LeftofObama Mar 2013 #19

Thank you! coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #27

My brother was an idiot in a different way. He couldn't stay out of other peoples' houses ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #34

I could never understand some of my friends who keep moaning about their various relatives idwiyo Mar 2013 #109

You are blood. Doesn't mean you can't disagree, nor does it mean you accept abuse. davsand Mar 2013 #15

I'm sorry, but "they're blood" is not an excuse for premeditated stupidity. And, with all due ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #29

I agree. I lost 4 of 5 sisters because I am not a racist, bigoted asshole that watches Fux snooze. Mnemosyne Mar 2013 #84

My very closest family members are no blood relation to me at all. And that's just fine with me. eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #85

+ 100 coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #93

Same here. I call them my framily! Mnemosyne Mar 2013 #101

When you are old and need help you won't feel comfortable asking them. dkf Mar 2013 #107

When I need help she wouldn't have been there for me anyway coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #113

They wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire, I am a "liberal". They are spoiled, entitled brats with Mnemosyne Mar 2013 #124

I'm really sorry you had to go through all that coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #129

I am 5 - 15 years older than them, it was my mother's second marriage. I am still in shock at how Mnemosyne Mar 2013 #136

Bullshit. I have friends that ask me to lend them a hand, before they would ask their family. Ikonoklast Mar 2013 #183

On a political level I totally get what you are saying. On a personal level I disagree. davsand Mar 2013 #89

blood may well be keroro gunsou Mar 2013 #172

That's a tough situation mokawanis Mar 2013 #17

public financing is NOT involuntary hfojvt Mar 2013 #18

Thanks for the info n/t coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #23

Let things cool off, but don't cut off contact Freddie Mar 2013 #20

Contact already cut off, too late coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #24

You did the right thing. Don't let anyone guilt-trip you. The idiocy must end. eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #30

If it feels right to you, it is right. easttexaslefty Mar 2013 #82

Yes! You did the right thing. murray hill farm Mar 2013 #179

I understand completely. truebluegreen Mar 2013 #21

Family, friends that you can't choose... RedCappedBandit Mar 2013 #22

Life is too short to suffer fools gladly. avebury Mar 2013 #25

I'm sorry. That is really sad. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #26

It is sad. And sadly necessary. Yes, over politics because it is politics that determines ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #33

I can't do that liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #41

Luckily I don't have to deal with whether or not to disown a family member because, ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #55

Your sister's opinions aside ... former9thward Mar 2013 #28

Don't put words in my mouth coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #66

Words in your mouth? former9thward Mar 2013 #72

this is where you put words in my mouth coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #121

Sorry not me. Wrong sex organs. former9thward Mar 2013 #122

Good for you. n/t Dawgs Mar 2013 #31

That's too bad.... onpatrol98 Mar 2013 #32

Good for you! Who needs family and/or friends? They're WAAAY overrated... cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #35

In my case it was the wingnuts who did the disowning Generic Brad Mar 2013 #40

Being called moneychanger and a baby killer aren't the same as unquestioning support of politicians. cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #50

First off - sorry for your loss Generic Brad Mar 2013 #91

I see your point. n/t cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #174

You didn't notice that this is a lifelong pattern with her sister? tavalon Mar 2013 #153

My brother was a practicing alcoholic for several years dsc Mar 2013 #36

I'm so sorry to hear that... pipi_k Mar 2013 #38

we have been trying dsc Mar 2013 #39

Glad to hear it... pipi_k Mar 2013 #53

My thoughts... pipi_k Mar 2013 #37

I'm sure at some point we'll talk coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #68

I hope pipi_k Mar 2013 #176

I hope so too coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #185

Sorry that you are having Sissyk Mar 2013 #42

I'm not sure I'll speak to her again and it doesn't bother me at all. Leslie Valley Mar 2013 #43

Very perceptive, Leslie. And holding onto anger solves nothing but eats away KittyWampus Mar 2013 #45

I think many people believe pipi_k Mar 2013 #56

It doesn't bother me that I won't see her coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #49

Holding Grudges is very VERY bad for your health. Let it go. Don't ignore the reality but LET IT GO. KittyWampus Mar 2013 #44

I will let it go but I can't talk to her coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #46

Can you just agree to not talk politics? Beaverhausen Mar 2013 #67

It's not just the politics really coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #69

No she won't stop with that hatred coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #98

Do you get along otherwise? BellaLuna Mar 2013 #47

I've tolerated her for a long time because of her children coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #54

She's beyond just the 'agree to disagree' thing then BellaLuna Mar 2013 #61

You should Facebook friend your sister's children. pnwmom Mar 2013 #162

My niece & nephew coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #163

I wonder if she's an active alcoholic? nt raccoon Mar 2013 #184

could be coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #186

I''ve never found any good coming from relationships w/toxic persons. Divernan Mar 2013 #48

For those of you with the sentiment that we shouldn't let politics get between blood relations... ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #51

I'm just not that kind of person liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #59

Well there ya go... pipi_k Mar 2013 #63

yeah, I try to avoid thinking I KNOW anything. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #64

There is a distinct line between what I believe and what they believe. And that line ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #70

That's it right there -- well said coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #74

Once it gets that stupid, it's not about Obama anymore. It's about reality and principle. eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #78

or racism coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #88

Take a break from her treestar Mar 2013 #52

Bush spent an entire YEAR of his 8 years on vacation. Initech Mar 2013 #57

He did. coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #134

I heard a term for it the other day - "Obama Derangement Syndrome". Initech Mar 2013 #135

LOL coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #140

there is only one way to survive this hollysmom Mar 2013 #58

Politics is a lot more important than family - you did the right thing. egduj Mar 2013 #60

To cut off family for such ultimately meaningless reasons is sad. MrSlayer Mar 2013 #62

Very good point---we fight each other instead of the real enemy. Curmudgeoness Mar 2013 #73

They ARE the real enemy. eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #83

I don't think so....they are puppets. Curmudgeoness Mar 2013 #87

I seldom talk politics with friends and relatives. Buzz Clik Mar 2013 #65

I stopped talking to couple family members along time ago after I gave them a warning about idwiyo Mar 2013 #71

Amen to that! Fuck 'em! eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #81

Errrrr, I don't think you'd want to do THAT to THEM. Trust me. :) idwiyo Mar 2013 #108

Life is too short for gratuitous anger, pointless aggravation and unmitigated bullshit hatrack Mar 2013 #75

We haven't really interacted but I knew I liked you =) eom ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #80

I barely talk to my sister. Only when I can't avoid it pink-o Mar 2013 #76

This particular sister coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #97

Yup. I hear you. I wanted my mother to live forever. pink-o Mar 2013 #100

I like it! n/t coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #104

same here...when my mother died AND my father.... chillfactor Mar 2013 #119

I have to say that "family first" angle only works if BOTH sides agree to steer clear of politics Populist_Prole Mar 2013 #77

I'm surprised calling her a racist didn't cause Bay Boy Mar 2013 #79

Sometimes the shoe just fits too well... nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #96

I didn't call her a racist coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #105

I understand. zentrum Mar 2013 #86

You should try to set some ground rules Marrah_G Mar 2013 #94

Family isn't the same once you lose respect for someone. hay rick Mar 2013 #95

You made the right choice. lbrtbell Mar 2013 #99

Absolutely. dogknob Mar 2013 #126

My suggestion is papa3times Mar 2013 #102

It's very sad that because of politics it comes to something like this. My extended family are repub Raine Mar 2013 #106

There it is again! And I'll say it again... It is POLITICS that drives our future! Acting as if ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #194

! patrice Mar 2013 #110

Thoughts? MadHound Mar 2013 #112

Life is too short coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #117

Family is too precious to let politics tear it asunder. MadHound Mar 2013 #118

It's really done. coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #123

That is so sad, I'm sorry. MadHound Mar 2013 #125

If I saw it as my error or my loss I wouldn't have done it coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #130

Perhaps you should ask yourself why you're not close to your sister. MadHound Mar 2013 #133

My niece will be okay coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #138

Again, politics isn't important enough to come between family. WTH??? Are we supposed to allow ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2013 #195

I hope things get better between you and your sister... SummerSnow Mar 2013 #115

I hate when that happens, *yet* will draw the line every time!1 n/t UTUSN Mar 2013 #116

My thoughts are that it's stupid for any family members to distance themselves over politics. Beacool Mar 2013 #120

You might very well rue the day. She's blood. WinkyDink Mar 2013 #127

It's up to you, of course, Le Taz Hot Mar 2013 #128

answer was pretty popular with ME coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #132

Very wise in my opinion. Thanks. Nt erinlough Mar 2013 #147

A minor detail, just for accuracy BlueStreak Mar 2013 #131

Yes I'm aware of that. coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #141

I know the feeling. I just hope doors aren't permanently closed unnecessarily. BlueStreak Mar 2013 #145

The are shut tight for now coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #165

I have the same problem in my family with my younger brother Samantha Mar 2013 #137

I totally understand your feelings.. virgdem Mar 2013 #139

I lost my friend of over 20 years after Ilsa Mar 2013 #142

Thanks Ilsa coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #144

I had to do the same with my Ilsa Mar 2013 #160

The election was a tipping point in Stargazer09 Mar 2013 #189

The friend complained about Ilsa Mar 2013 #198

Hugs Stargazer09 Mar 2013 #221

Another tiny email exchange coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #143

Sounds like she has somehow gotten sucked into Fox News' alternate reality Proud Liberal Dem Mar 2013 #146

bad move Skittles Mar 2013 #148

Yes! pipi_k Mar 2013 #175

my aunt asked if I was calling her a racist and I flat-out said YES Skittles Mar 2013 #210

Fox news turned my mom, sister, brother, uncle abelenkpe Mar 2013 #149

I hope she eventually comes to her senses. Iggo Mar 2013 #151

Just from the short story and your point of view tavalon Mar 2013 #152

Don't get bookfaced. xfundy Mar 2013 #154

It must be nice to live in a family with such piddly problems! LeftyMom Mar 2013 #155

First of all, I am sorry to hear that things have escalated to the point you two aren't talking davidpdx Mar 2013 #156

I don't think she planned her wedding deliberately coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #164

Ah, I see davidpdx Mar 2013 #169

This is terrible. SamReynolds Mar 2013 #157

I feel so lucky to not have any RWers in my family, Jamaal510 Mar 2013 #158

Q: What's Irish Alzheimer's? A: When ye forget everything but the grudges. Hekate Mar 2013 #161

My sister and I stopped talking years and years ago lunatica Mar 2013 #166

You two need to forget technology and use the phone. IdaBriggs Mar 2013 #167

Another victory for the right wing. Turbineguy Mar 2013 #168

Well... sibelian Mar 2013 #170

My thoughts? LWolf Mar 2013 #171

SMH Mr Dixon Mar 2013 #173

I understand, but it's too much. Smarmie Doofus Mar 2013 #177

not a problem RedstDem Mar 2013 #178

I have never engaged in that kind of petty squabble with any member of my family slackmaster Mar 2013 #180

I had a similar situation with my sister and brother... Javaman Mar 2013 #181

You did what you had to do. Ganja Ninja Mar 2013 #182

I understand you completely. peace13 Mar 2013 #187

thanks Kim coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #191

We started meditation last October... peace13 Mar 2013 #196

much appreciated coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #197

You do what you have to.. fadedrose Mar 2013 #188

Not sure of the origin of this....native american, I think. murray hill farm Mar 2013 #190

thank you - hopefully she gets over her coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #192

I don't talk politics with my older sister. Aerows Mar 2013 #199

I feel like I need a break from my sister, period coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #201

Distance can be a good thing Aerows Mar 2013 #202

Thanks Aerows coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #203

To be frank, I think it's a damn stupid reason to cut off a family member. AngryOldDem Mar 2013 #204

I feel it's temporary and I'm taking a much needed break coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #207

Yeah, sometimes it's good and wise to just take a break. AngryOldDem Mar 2013 #227

Am I invited? H2O Man Mar 2013 #205

Of course silly coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #209

This is going to sound hard, but you should both grow up. badtoworse Mar 2013 #206

see reply 207 coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #208

I wish you luck in rebuilding a relationship badtoworse Mar 2013 #211

this sister though, is not precious to me right now coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #212

That is unfortunate. badtoworse Mar 2013 #213

I hope so too coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #214

Face Palm Time Me. Mar 2013 #215

Thanks me! coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #218

Old Friend Has A Nice Ring To It Me. Mar 2013 #222

We are old friends. Going back to 2004 coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #223

You only get one family. TroglodyteScholar Mar 2013 #216

not just politics coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #219

Why be around people who make you miserable? SunSeeker Mar 2013 #217

thanks for the validation! coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #220

Yes indeed. SunSeeker Mar 2013 #225

we got ourselves one very annoyed pig coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #228

Sounds you don't like 'er. People should have to be around other people that they lonestarnot Mar 2013 #224

I have gone through the same situation with my sister. I cannot be around her side of the family Lint Head Mar 2013 #226

I agree coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #229

Stay away from her and go your own way and stay close to sane members of your bluestate10 Mar 2013 #230

willful ignorance of the facts coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #231

From what you wrote and from what I've read of your past posts, I think... BlueJazz Mar 2013 #232

I don't know if anyone will see this since this thread is so old . . . . coeur_de_lion Mar 2013 #233