General Discussion

MineralMan

(151,392 posts)

35. One more post:

Fri Mar 22, 2013, 03:54 PM

Mar 2013

When I was 23 years old, I took a job as a mail clerk for a gas company in California. I was just out of the Air Force. I worked in an open office area, and part of my job was delivering mail to individual desks. Shortly after I started working there, I noticed one of the women working at the desk, and thought she was rather attractive. I was friendly, but not particularly pushing for anything. But I liked her and was friendly.

One day, this guy from that same company took me aside and said, "You can forget about Judy. She's a fucking ice-maiden." My reaction was to shrug and to figure that he had come on to her at some point and she had blown him off. I didn't tell him he was an asshole, although I thought he was.

Long story short, she ended up calling me and asking if I wanted to get together sometime. We ended up getting married a few months later. She wasn't an ice-maiden. She was a very nice person who didn't like assholes very much.

I should have told that guy off, but I decided just to ignore him. He was an asshole. There are lots of them around, it seems.

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Highlight:

Microaggressions [View all] redqueen Mar 2013 OP

eavesdropping on a coversation you're not part of, is a microaggression. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #1

Context? Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #8

I believe this is spilling over from this thread deutsey Mar 2013 #18

Ah... Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #63

The examples on that page seem like legitimate aggressions. DanTex Mar 2013 #2

Yes. Microagressions occur almost constantly, MineralMan Mar 2013 #3

I disagree that no amount of education will help. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #9

OK. You disagree. MineralMan Mar 2013 #12

That's a defeatist attitude el_bryanto Mar 2013 #26

Not at all. When someone does something like that, MineralMan Mar 2013 #29

Most people don't call it out, though. They hear 'suck it up', 'grow a thicker skin', etc. redqueen Mar 2013 #39

OK. Are those people reading these discussions? I doubt it, MineralMan Mar 2013 #44

Some will. redqueen Mar 2013 #46

It's not that I don't think it should be discussed. MineralMan Mar 2013 #47

Read your comments here again. redqueen Mar 2013 #48

I don't need to read them again. I wrote them. MineralMan Mar 2013 #50

You're not listening. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #52

Nor are you, apparently. MineralMan Mar 2013 #53

he didn't believe any education around rape was needed either, and bettyellen Mar 2013 #98

if you were raised a woman, you'd KNOW that some need to hear the message that they don't need to bettyellen Mar 2013 #88

Do you make a big deal of it on the internet only or do you do it in real life? XRubicon Mar 2013 #54

i think we all have to pick our battles bettyellen Mar 2013 #90

Advertising can sell millions on cigarettes and sodas el_bryanto Mar 2013 #51

Great idea...advertising. MineralMan Mar 2013 #57

Small egalitarian hunter-gatherer societies Shankapotomus Mar 2013 #93

'You need to grow a thicker skin' Cirque du So-What Mar 2013 #4

I agree completely. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #10

Orwellian quinnox Mar 2013 #5

kinda like constantly throwing out "thought police" "big brother" to shut people up. see how easy seabeyond Mar 2013 #7

Oh, my. Zorra Mar 2013 #11

don't people realize that just because they think something does not mean it needs to be shared Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2013 #45

You mean like tweeting a picture of someone whose conversation you're eavesdropping on, Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #70

two wrongs don't make a right. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2013 #73

there's no comparison. she launched a nuclear attack in response to a penis joke. made HiPointDem Mar 2013 #103

was he on his on time? if so, I withdraw however, I was of the understanding that he was on the job. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2013 #104

This message was self-deleted by its author Generation_Why Mar 2013 #6

My Own Microagression.... Jasana Mar 2013 #13

You reminded me of one... redqueen Mar 2013 #14

And I hope you read him the riot act. He deserved it. MineralMan Mar 2013 #27

lol, no. I wws raised to believe that's just how men are. redqueen Mar 2013 #31

Ah, OK. Too bad. People say dumbass things all the time. MineralMan Mar 2013 #34

One more post: MineralMan Mar 2013 #35

I'm curious... What do you think would have happened Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #68

I would have made an enemy MineralMan Mar 2013 #77

Thanks for your response. nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #79

so are you starting to understand how that works now? the one on one thing? bettyellen Mar 2013 #91

Good for you! smirkymonkey Mar 2013 #111

K&R Solly Mack Mar 2013 #15

So a whole lot of microaggressions justify a "macroagression"? jeff47 Mar 2013 #16

No. And I hope we can stay on topic. redqueen Mar 2013 #17

Right. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #24

because one speaks out about a miacroaggression does not mean one explodes or it is seabeyond Mar 2013 #19

The Big Bang. Rex Mar 2013 #21

Posting's a person's picture on social media without their permission in order to create a backlash EOTE Mar 2013 #28

That is what I thought it was about. Rex Mar 2013 #55

There is a link to examples in the OP. redqueen Mar 2013 #59

I know that now, but thought that it was about the dongle thread at first Rex Mar 2013 #60

I'm pretty sure this IS about the dongle thread. EOTE Mar 2013 #62

That mircoaggression when left to build up has a cumulative effect Rex Mar 2013 #64

I think Vinnie's response down thread sums things up rather well. EOTE Mar 2013 #67

'zero conflict resolution abilities' Rex Mar 2013 #71

Except, the "microaggression" was in a private conversation the would-be aggressee eavesdropped on. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #69

It's about reframing a thread.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2013 #81

It's about addressing an important issue. redqueen Mar 2013 #83

Yeah, that sums it up better than I could have. nt EOTE Mar 2013 #86

Indeed. Pretty asymmetric, isn't it? n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #84

Mircoaggression is what got the two people fired. Rex Mar 2013 #20

See post 17. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #22

Rodger. Rex Mar 2013 #23

Taking someone's picture & posting it on the internet w/o their consent sounds like "rape culture" Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #25

minimizing? childish at best. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #36

How can you stand by and enable the pornification of the objectifying filth-culture that says it's Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #38

I LOLed. EOTE Mar 2013 #40

I can't hear you over the sound of my dongle dinging Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #42

LMAO! RiffRandell Mar 2013 #74

i do not know anything about what you are going on about, and your childish mocking reinforces seabeyond Mar 2013 #41

dung dongles? I heard there Anonymous is getting involved Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #43

It needs to be taken seriously, because each individual one is small, but they add up. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #30

LOL! Yeah, microaggressions are what we older folks used to call LIFE! Vinnie From Indy Mar 2013 #32

Your statement on microaggression seems to be somewhat aggressive itself. EOTE Mar 2013 #37

civility jollyreaper2112 Mar 2013 #33

You know your thread was worth posting gollygee Mar 2013 #49

I don't know where the disonnect is. redqueen Mar 2013 #56

Or not. I just read the whole thing. I could have been doing something productive. Comrade Grumpy Mar 2013 #58

Do you know the back story? DanTex Mar 2013 #61

No, it isn't. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #65

Of course it is. At least, that's what people are responding to. DanTex Mar 2013 #75

Right. it's one of those "coincidences." Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #76

Exactly. Just dont "attempt to silence conversation"! Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #66

Always the same group of usual suspects MattBaggins Mar 2013 #78

Yep. redqueen Mar 2013 #85

sticks and stones and all arely staircase Mar 2013 #72

yep very right on. Phillip McCleod Mar 2013 #80

Can we come up with some examples of micropassiveagressions? n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #82

'microagression' = someone saying something i don't like. it's called 'life'. if you can't handle HiPointDem Mar 2013 #87

Exactly tabasco Mar 2013 #89

The term �microaggressions� was originally coined to speak particularly to racialized experiences. bettyellen Mar 2013 #92

+1 Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #95

so what? a 'microagression' is a remark, intentional or otherwise, that offends. it's not HiPointDem Mar 2013 #96

but they are much more frequently aimed at women and minorities simply BECAUSE they are women bettyellen Mar 2013 #97

you don't know that; but even if it is the case, your tactics are guaranteed to worsen the HiPointDem Mar 2013 #101

actually, I do know that. when it came to racism- it was largely black men that spoke out bettyellen Mar 2013 #105

actually, you don't -- which is why you put the comment in the past tense. i didn't see HiPointDem Mar 2013 #106

um, everything in my last post was current tense. and that you "haven't noticed" the link in the OP bettyellen Mar 2013 #107

"when it came to racism" = past tense. Don't blame me for your own unclear writing. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #108

Sorry for attempting to give you some context- but all the parts relating to me were present bettyellen Mar 2013 #109

I did read it. I added further comments after your post. Carry on with your agonizing over HiPointDem Mar 2013 #110

Microaggressions are symptoms of Shankapotomus Mar 2013 #94

There is a semi-famous foreigner here in Japan who became Japanese and Bonobo Mar 2013 #99

It's weird that I've never heard of this before. But it makes so much sense. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #100

'Microagressions' are a big deal. Well, now I've heard everything. rrneck Mar 2013 #102

K&R smirkymonkey Mar 2013 #112