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dsc

(53,377 posts)

32. just to clarify

Fri Mar 22, 2013, 09:36 PM

Mar 2013

It isn't a defense to say the victim told me she was older. Even in cases where the victim was in a bar and being served alcohol, that still isn't a defense against statutory rape.

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My bad sex wasn’t rape [View all] XemaSab Mar 2013 OP

Statutory rape it was. MineralMan Mar 2013 #1

The incident in the OP was 30+ years ago Art_from_Ark Mar 2013 #64

Actually, that makes it even more likely. MineralMan Mar 2013 #65

This message was self-deleted by its author Art_from_Ark Mar 2013 #198

Yeah it was gollygee Mar 2013 #69

No it isn't. Its quite legal in many states. phleshdef Mar 2013 #100

That's true, although those laws use different numbers of years. MineralMan Mar 2013 #104

The time frame would've been the 1980s. phleshdef Mar 2013 #107

I'm curious about your personal opinion on this. redqueen Mar 2013 #110

I think it depends on the people involved. phleshdef Mar 2013 #111

I think a 15 year old should have the right to explore his/her sexuality cali Mar 2013 #114

In Idaho, I believe a 15 year old is off limits to anyone 18 or older. brewens Mar 2013 #132

But not in many European countries, or until very recently in Canada. Jackpine Radical Mar 2013 #133

you might check out the countries that are that young. seabeyond Mar 2013 #134

I was raped when I was 11 and there were many things I did that were wrong angstlessk Mar 2013 #2

you were 11 ? how old were the rapists ? JI7 Mar 2013 #4

grown men, one had several children angstlessk Mar 2013 #5

yeah, because it would have just been ok for grown men to drink and have sex with 16 year olds JI7 Mar 2013 #10

that may be the age of consent in Virginia at the time? angstlessk Mar 2013 #13

what ended up happening to them ? JI7 Mar 2013 #21

They went to jail..and some years later when I was working in retail angstlessk Mar 2013 #24

Many, many men claim it's natural and normal, and even argue that it should be legal. redqueen Mar 2013 #28

Gulp. I'll make the claim that it isn't necessarily harmful cali Mar 2013 #88

my rapist was never punished either. sigmasix Mar 2013 #125

I can't believe what I just read superpatriotman Mar 2013 #129

just to clarify dsc Mar 2013 #32

An 11 yr old is incapable of making proper judgments. That's why they're called children. Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #8

very well said La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #86

Interesting article. LittleBlue Mar 2013 #3

it has nothing to do with so-called "puritanism" BainsBane Mar 2013 #7

The article is in response to the Girls episode LittleBlue Mar 2013 #9

Good lord. Supposedly educated twenty somethings consent to that shit? alphafemale Mar 2013 #95

This woman appears to be pushing an agenda. redqueen Mar 2013 #12

Did the "dreck" hit a nerve, perchance? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #19

dreck, because she's so very dishonest by omitting her prior history of sexual abuse and acting out bettyellen Mar 2013 #33

You're making nasty statements about what this woman has said around being an abuse survivor? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #61

Critical analysis that her piece completely lacked context is nasty now? I think her bettyellen Mar 2013 #70

Okay- here's what I'm saying. You're talking, it seems, about something she wrote in a diff. piece Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #138

yeah, I think she left out details and context in this article and that's why it's BS flame bait bettyellen Mar 2013 #148

Forgive my noob showing but how do Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #127

"New"? Really? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #139

Thanks for your reply. nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #140

Sure. Maybe you can answer a question for me. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #150

Why, yes it is. (was actually) nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #168

So you acknowledge that you've been banned from DU so many times that you need to proxy your IP. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #173

I would never, ever admit to such a thing. nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #174

You don't need to, you admit it in the comments of your blog. Just now you admitted that's you Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #177

If you say so Warren. nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #178

Okay, shall we read the entire thing? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #179

It's been great fun sparring with you, Warren and Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #182

Also - let's not hog this thread shall we? nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #184

Right. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #185

Lol! Thanks 'n good-night! nt Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #188

you blogged about being banned from DU last year. So either you've been here before, or Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #186

Warren.. Upton Mar 2013 #180

Yeah, that was my alert. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #181

Don't blame you.. Upton Mar 2013 #187

No, turns out that was another repeat disruptor, dude from Canada with a penchant for going off the Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #189

Message auto-removed Sargasso Sea Mar 2013 #194

Your previous times here, you spoke of "FAABs","Womyn-born-womyn", "gynergy vampires", and the rest. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #201

Thank you, Skinner. Jamastiene Mar 2013 #202

Seconded. I will stop derailing the thread, now. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #207

I appreciate you standing up to that transphobic troll. n/t Jamastiene Mar 2013 #208

No prob; Their shit was vile, and I've got a long memory. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #209

I doubt she's a she to begin with Whisp Mar 2013 #74

Yes, Anna March is a woman. tammywammy Mar 2013 #94

Legally, you were raped by the 19 year old. Statutory rape. You were not old enough to "allow it." Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #6

Not true. It depends on the laws of that state. See post #97. phleshdef Mar 2013 #103

No, it's true. Post 97 gives a few far out hypotheticals that don't even apply Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #136

You are wrong. phleshdef Mar 2013 #142

In Vermont it is not illegal for a 15 year old to have sex with a 19 year old cali Mar 2013 #116

Wow, I can't even finish reading that dreck. redqueen Mar 2013 #11

I have been avoiding all the rape posts..cause I think..I am over it... angstlessk Mar 2013 #16

It wasn't your fault. redqueen Mar 2013 #29

you Mom was wrong to blame you. I'm sorry you went through that. bettyellen Mar 2013 #34

Of course it wasn't your fault union_maid Mar 2013 #57

Take it from here, it was not your fault Hekate Mar 2013 #62

I'm so sorry you went through that. "Blame the victim" is always wrong. Bucky Mar 2013 #73

she is the writer who wrote- a little too wistfully- about her father's abuse. I don't think she bettyellen Mar 2013 #17

How the FUCK is she ... yeah, nevermind. redqueen Mar 2013 #31

I love this reply. Pity and heartfelt! bettyellen Mar 2013 #76

this horsehit has a NAMBLA feel all about it. Whisp Mar 2013 #82

Yep, and this is such a crowd-pleasing treatment of the subject. redqueen Mar 2013 #87

Yeah, I think she is being used by her publisher. Whatever she was trying to say is muddled up bettyellen Mar 2013 #92

+1 redqueen Mar 2013 #93

I read the Salon article about her abuse. tammywammy Mar 2013 #41

RAPE. she doesn't identify correctly digital penetration of a child as rape. soft-pedaling seems bettyellen Mar 2013 #43

Did you read it? redqueen Mar 2013 #113

What about a rectal temp on a baby The Flaming Red Head Mar 2013 #200

. myrna minx Mar 2013 #210

All I found was this and her piece about her "shazam boobs" redqueen Mar 2013 #108

Here: tammywammy Mar 2013 #109

Jesus. redqueen Mar 2013 #112

Yep: "Some lovers you just never forget." about her and Dad.... trigger warning.... bettyellen Mar 2013 #115

That article wasn't written by the author of the OP. The one at this link was written by Delaney smokey nj Mar 2013 #121

Anna March linked to that article and hers. tammywammy Mar 2013 #123

Are Anna March and Delaney Anderson the same person? smokey nj Mar 2013 #124

I'd think so. tammywammy Mar 2013 #126

yes they are. i was confused too, and saw she changed her name after that article. bettyellen Mar 2013 #172

Thanks. smokey nj Mar 2013 #195

ha ha, yeah. poor woman apparently still loves all the attention, then regrets getting it... bettyellen Mar 2013 #120

That gave me a shudder Hekate Mar 2013 #63

Ironically, she writes about her many unhappy years allowing men to use her..... bettyellen Mar 2013 #72

In confessional literature, there can be a rather fine line between... Hekate Mar 2013 #131

I hear the hooves of the cavalry charging in to support the OP... Whisp Mar 2013 #78

Bullshit. cali Mar 2013 #117

15 and 19 Texasgal Mar 2013 #14

Um, no, possibly not. Please see post 97. phleshdef Mar 2013 #99

This message was self-deleted by its author Whisp Mar 2013 #15

In the olden days, the late 60s and 70s in my case, we didn't call it rape flamingdem Mar 2013 #18

Of course "bad sex" isn't necessarily rape. Anybody with any sense knows that. nomorenomore08 Mar 2013 #20

yeah, creepy is the word , glad it's not just me who is getting that feeling JI7 Mar 2013 #22

Wow that author seems to have really internalized the self-doubt Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #23

she was sexually abused as a child, and part of her shtick is to be a bit too ambivalent about it. bettyellen Mar 2013 #26

Is it attention-seeking behavior then? Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #67

She got a lot of attention for the first piece, and they are looking for readers. I'm not kidding bettyellen Mar 2013 #71

+1 LiberalLoner Mar 2013 #153

I also found it creepy. Shrike47 Mar 2013 #25

Oh, that was very clearly rape! But part of her article is correct. JVS Mar 2013 #27

And she was drunk. n/t Iris Mar 2013 #30

The idea that what happened in Steubenville... are all rape is ridiculous. seabeyond Mar 2013 #35

Where is she claiming Steubenville isn't rape? LittleBlue Mar 2013 #36

it sounds to me like she is saying, what happened in steubenville, girls and her are not rapes. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #37

I think she's saying they're two different things. LittleBlue Mar 2013 #39

She said she was glad justice was served in Steubenville. tammywammy Mar 2013 #40

that was a very poor sentence. seabeyond Mar 2013 #45

I didn't read it as rape apologist or dismissive. tammywammy Mar 2013 #50

yeah- when you have to reread and check for the parenthetical to be certain she can finally call bettyellen Mar 2013 #79

exactly. especially as the whole article implies otherwise. one would expect seabeyond Mar 2013 #84

if you read back to her earlier article, you can see she has serious issues faulting herself bettyellen Mar 2013 #90

yeh, I'm feeling sorry for her now rather than angry at her. n/t Whisp Mar 2013 #96

This message was self-deleted by its author cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #38

Nice... LittleBlue Mar 2013 #42

Cool story. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #49

but if it had been a man dsc Mar 2013 #60

Yes you were raped. JVS Mar 2013 #89

Please tell me you're not serious. cali Mar 2013 #101

This message was self-deleted by its author In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #44

the OP is posting an article from salon, not speaking from personal experience, I think. niyad Mar 2013 #46

Well then. I am truly sorry that it happened to anyone. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #48

that's fucked up, did he ever get arrested ? JI7 Mar 2013 #51

no In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #55

Oh, For Gods Sake ismnotwasm Mar 2013 #47

15 years old Texasgal Mar 2013 #52

Oh, geez, I'm sorry! You're so right. ismnotwasm Mar 2013 #54

It is consenual in Vermont. You know that awful backward state. cali Mar 2013 #118

30 years ago what was the age of consent? madville Mar 2013 #53

Simple moral issue: it's the CONSENT & the law that matter. alp227 Mar 2013 #56

So what was the point at the park where she consented enthusiastically? Kalidurga Mar 2013 #58

In a few years, this will be the new approach to sexual consent... Generation_Why Mar 2013 #59

Yah, that's pushing it to absurdity, MineralMan Mar 2013 #66

Are you saying that most alleged rapes are not rape? boston bean Mar 2013 #68

It's a pretty frivolous treatment of a serious subject. Bucky Mar 2013 #77

I wasn't really saying anything. Just injecting some humor. But I'll clarify MY stance: Generation_Why Mar 2013 #122

so totally passed out is your standard here for rape? And you think a "yes" is too much trouble bettyellen Mar 2013 #149

The problem I see with this article is that the author assumes that whether what was done to her Egalitarian Thug Mar 2013 #75

I think the point is that NOW, as an adult, she does not consider it rape. randome Mar 2013 #81

I don't think she considered it rape then either... did I miss something? bettyellen Mar 2013 #91

I'm saying it was rape according to the law, regardless of consent. randome Mar 2013 #143

"The idea that what happened in Steubenville, with Natalia on “Girls,” and with me in the park 30 lunasun Mar 2013 #80

It was oddly written Lex Mar 2013 #85

Legally, it doesn't matter if she doesn't "feel" it was rape. If she was unable to give consent Lex Mar 2013 #83

Some people in this thread don't have a lot of knowledge about statutory rape laws. phleshdef Mar 2013 #97

Wow, this woman has an improper opinion. Let's trash her. Comrade Grumpy Mar 2013 #98

I'm glad I'm not the only one seeing that. tammywammy Mar 2013 #102

if she is unable to call digital penetration of a six year old rape I will trash her WRITING about bettyellen Mar 2013 #105

Who's trashing her? Being angry at the fact that she's working so hard to blur lines does not redqueen Mar 2013 #106

lasting aftereffects indeed sigmasix Mar 2013 #137

some people think it's okay for her to write about that- or hide it from readers to manipulate them bettyellen Mar 2013 #156

So disagreeing is "trashing" her? Lex Mar 2013 #128

Thank you LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #135

"so she's worthless." redqueen Mar 2013 #141

. LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #145

No, not "a sentence (I) didn't like"... a whole bunch of noxious crap about "Daddy". redqueen Mar 2013 #157

Yes, I read it. Not just a few select sentences but the whole thing LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #159

I went through that same shit. redqueen Mar 2013 #160

i said her opinion about using the word "rape" was worthless, and I stand by it. bettyellen Mar 2013 #151

"her opinion is worthless" =! "she's worthless" nt redqueen Mar 2013 #152

are we not allowed to critique work by any writers who've been sexually abused? bettyellen Mar 2013 #155

You are not allowed to use past, unrelated abuse as a dismissal LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #158

I'm using the stories she tells about herself to give context to the stories about herself. bettyellen Mar 2013 #161

Portraying criticisms of someone's opinion as a personal attack... redqueen Mar 2013 #163

The OP's opinion about statutory rape was dismissed because statutory rape. redqueen Mar 2013 #162

they are the same writer- she changed her name. bettyellen Mar 2013 #165

Thanks. nt redqueen Mar 2013 #166

It wasn't a different woman LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #167

Thanks for calling me an asshole for disagreeing about her opinions. redqueen Mar 2013 #169

you still don't understand the difference between attacking the work, and attacking the person? bettyellen Mar 2013 #170

she is attempting OPED journalism, for fuck's sake. and doing it dishonestly, and pandering bettyellen Mar 2013 #175

"pandering with salacious little anecdotes designed to stir up controversy" redqueen Mar 2013 #190

and here I thought we weren;t supposed to put any woman on a pedestal. bettyellen Mar 2013 #192

It's futile, LadyHawk LittleBlue Mar 2013 #164

Another person is equating criticizing her opinion and characterizations redqueen Mar 2013 #171

completely misquoting what people here wrote. I call bullshit. bettyellen Mar 2013 #176

I meant to reply to you. redqueen Mar 2013 #183

I recall something Dave Chappelle said about it LittleBlue Mar 2013 #144

It makes me goddamn furious LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #146

Sometimes group behavior causes the very feelings we want a victim to not feel. randome Mar 2013 #147

I don't get it- I criticized HER PIECE for omitting her whole history of sexually acting out.... bettyellen Mar 2013 #154

that would be relevant- if every bullet pointed item in that list wasn't bullshit. bettyellen Mar 2013 #191

I'm rather glad this behavior...which you documented quite well, IMHO, msanthrope Mar 2013 #193

I should not have cleared my ignore list LadyHawkAZ Mar 2013 #196

Yup.. and, as expected, the responses to you are worth at least 2 squares on the bingo card.. opiate69 Mar 2013 #199

Sure sounds like rape to me. mercymechap Mar 2013 #119

Yes, and it doesn't matter legally that she doesn't "feel" like it was now. Lex Mar 2013 #130

Your responses are very interesting. flvegan Mar 2013 #197

This message was self-deleted by its author redqueen Mar 2013 #203

thank you for taking the time to break it down as much as you did. there was a lot of troublesome seabeyond Mar 2013 #204

It about made me physically ill to have to sift through it. redqueen Mar 2013 #205

yes. i agree. the trash is just overwhelming. seabeyond Mar 2013 #206