My bad sex wasn’t rape

[sigmasix]

125. my rapist was never punished either.

I was raped repeatedly over a 2 year period in my childhood by my half-sister. I was 9 years old the 1st time. She told me that I should consider myself lucky to be raped. When I reported it, I was told to keep my mouth shut and that it isnt possible for a boy to be raped by a woman. My half sister's mom was a prostitute by choice- my father found out about the woman's activities and divorced her. She wasnt forced into prostitution; she chose the lifestyle of a sex worker because it was fun and there were always parties. Prostituting herself wasnt enough though- she also rented-out her little girl to full grown men for sex (once again- no one forced her to do this to her daughter- she did it of her own volition) My father used to have to travel across the midwest in the 60s and early 70s to try and rescue my half-sister from her toxic mother. On one occassion he hitch hiked to cleveland in 1962 to find my half sister in dirty crusted diapers and undernourished. He took her home to indiana and cleaned her up- doing the best he could- until the judges decided that my sister shouldnt be parted from her biological mother, even with all the proof of abuse.
When she got to be an adult, the dammage caused by her mother was amplified and distorted by drugs. I was born in 66 and by 1974 the rapes had begun in earnest.
I have spent the better part of my adult life trying to understand the deep scars and emotional problems caused by those childhood traumas. I have been accused of deserving the rape, enjoying the rape and orchestrating it. They have even went so far as to claim that I was making it all up. All of this rape shaming was performed by neofeminists that claim women don't rape. In several of my women's studies courses I was shamed and ridiculed by female victims of rape when I was honest about my experience. Many women's studies students and professors agreed that those rapes weren't REALLY rapes because I was a guy, and didn't I need an erection to complete the act? I was told that my 9 year old self deserved the rape -and was apparently hoping for it- and that I should stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. She was 19, I was 9- yet I have been informed that it was my fault by many that claim to be feminists. Thier anger stems from the fact that the real world doesnt conform to the vision of extremists.
My half sister is dead now. We were able to bury the hatchet before she died- but her mother still lives and blames all the men in her life for the deaths of her children and how messed-up they all are.