General Discussion

Sen. Walter Sobchak

(8,692 posts)

163. My girlfriend takes it a step further,

Mon Mar 25, 2013, 01:04 PM

Mar 2013

The only person in the world who was supportive of her nerdy endeavours as a child was her dad who did every radioshack "build-your-own" kit ever made with her. Her dad bought her a computer of her own she could break and fix to her hearts content. But her dad worked in construction, so he couldn't really teach her anything, but he indulged her interest to the absolute limit of his ability.

Her mother was mortified by it and other girls ostracized her for it. Fortunately as a teenager she found other girls boring and irritating so the disapproval of "skanks, s--ts and b----es" as she refers to them wasn't enough to discourage her from it. She thinks the single largest force that keeps women off this track is peer pressure from other girls in their youth.

Into University and her early career she encountered a good many men who were hopelessly awkward around her (this was the early 90's) but certainly not hostile. Although when I tried to explain to her what "patriarchy" meant after she stumbled on a feminist spoof she was baffled by it. Being on the math/science track she just never encountered it.

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Donglegate, and why we don't have more women in tech [View all] Recursion Mar 2013 OP

The patriarchy is not some guys telling dongle jokes to each other. Kurska Mar 2013 #1

See? See? SEE WHAT YOU DID? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #15

have a glass of warm milk or something Whisp Mar 2013 #25

"Stroke"? That sounds an awful lot like a sexual innuendo. FOR SHAME! Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #27

Excellent lol.. but.. you forgot the word of the day in that rant.. opiate69 Mar 2013 #29

whatever, dude Whisp Mar 2013 #30

calmer than you are, dude. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #36

"Yeah, WAVING THE FUCKING DONGLE AROUND????!!!!" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2013 #78

Which makes me wonder... opiate69 Mar 2013 #80

SCHEDULING OPIATE69 FOR ASS KICKING Skittles Mar 2013 #85

=-O opiate69 Mar 2013 #96

Do you use google calendar, or what? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #138

it's a living Skittles Mar 2013 #147

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #148

Just sos ya know, though.. I'm no switch, so I won't be paying lol opiate69 Mar 2013 #149

Call Dingell, I can see Dangle's Dongle Dangling. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #137

ok... I seriously laughed out loud.. the dogs are looking at me like I'm nuts opiate69 Mar 2013 #139

vagina Whisp Mar 2013 #130

that's funny as hell datasuspect Mar 2013 #39

el oh el pokerfan Mar 2013 #44

Fist bump. cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #26

it'd be funny, if Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #28

We live in interesting times. cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #31

Hell, I *live* in Portland, and I've always been sort of lukewarm on that show. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #37

Yes, that sketch was bang-on. cherokeeprogressive Mar 2013 #42

If you buy it dinner first theKed Mar 2013 #76

"Well, if you want to make a donation, we'll have almost enough...." Electric Monk Mar 2013 #40

It's almost like the Matrix, isn't it? nt sylvi Mar 2013 #45

You entirely missed Recursion's point BainsBane Mar 2013 #65

Please explain to me how, exactly, what she did challenged the patriarchy. Kurska Mar 2013 #83

The point is about public reaction BainsBane Mar 2013 #87

They never once used the word "public reaction" in his/her post. There were two lines about it. Kurska Mar 2013 #94

It isn't justifying anything she did BainsBane Mar 2013 #104

He said she fought the patriarchy, how is that anything besides a justification or at least praise? Kurska Mar 2013 #113

Clearly it was partly about this incident BainsBane Mar 2013 #118

Yes I do think an employer would fire someone over a single remark I've seen it Kurska Mar 2013 #144

slandering a man BainsBane Mar 2013 #158

the worst thing in five years is not threats of rape and murder BainsBane Mar 2013 #159

When did I say you had said the worst thing I'd seen on here in five years? Kurska Mar 2013 #164

I don't think she is fighting the "patriarchy" FYI, she is just a self promoter trying to make money snooper2 Mar 2013 #167

Pretty horrible example. They're being treated differently because Marr Mar 2013 #2

Exactly! n/t RiffRandell Mar 2013 #7

Pretty much this. n/t Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #8

You cant take sex out of it. quakerboy Mar 2013 #9

they do though. if they're gay or suspected of being gay, or in situations HiPointDem Mar 2013 #10

And my point is made quakerboy Mar 2013 #24

So your chief objection here is that she was theoretically threatened with rape? n/t Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #38

what is "theoretically threatened with rape"? BainsBane Mar 2013 #66

No. It is my way of avoiding a definitive and possibly libelous statement. n't Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #81

and making clear BainsBane Mar 2013 #82

I think my words and meaning are clear and do not need your revision Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #111

Good luck theKed Mar 2013 #165

I certainly do the same thing myself at times. n/t Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #166

You're not being a busybody to complain about an offensive comment said loudly enough Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #33

Oh, yes you are. Marr Mar 2013 #51

Oh, no you're not. He said it loudly enough in a crowd for others to hear. It's Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #63

But how she handled it is the whole point. Marr Mar 2013 #91

She handled it wrong. But that's not being a busybody, which means interfering in Honeycombe8 Mar 2013 #100

yes, it's being a freaking busybody. Like a lady who calls the police because she heard her HiPointDem Mar 2013 #126

So, he said something loud enough to be overheard. Shame on him. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #129

But they violated the house rules in the Python conference. alp227 Mar 2013 #50

why the FUCK is everybody ignoring simple moral issues and bending over backwards to defend the guys redqueen Mar 2013 #55

It wasn't malicious when the guys made the penis joke and it wasn't malicious when she made the dkf Mar 2013 #154

My thoughts exactly brush Mar 2013 #105

she didn't 'challenge the patriarchy'. to equate his act (making a penis joke to a friend) with HiPointDem Mar 2013 #3

My former roomate is thinking of going to school for electronics FrodosPet Mar 2013 #19

People need to just learn to shut the fuck up. Generation_Why Mar 2013 #4

Small issues, like sexism, racism, misogyny? bhikkhu Mar 2013 #5

the jokes aren't why they're not going to get a job; management policies HiPointDem Mar 2013 #11

I don't think you understand bhikkhu Mar 2013 #18

I understand quite well; that culture is tolerated a/o encouraged by management or HiPointDem Mar 2013 #20

There are legitimate problems... Melon_Lord Mar 2013 #84

It creates a hostile work environment BainsBane Mar 2013 #68

Oh boo hoo, a professional setting can actually have MANNERS! and STANDARDS!!! alp227 Mar 2013 #52

"they're way too far in adulthood to be making excuses." redqueen Mar 2013 #56

comparing a dongle joke to 'legitimate rape' is a stretch too far Phillip McCleod Mar 2013 #150

I'm not surprised at all AnnieBW Mar 2013 #6

Everyone resents being talked down to, and everyone has been talked down HiPointDem Mar 2013 #12

eavesdropping on a conversation she wasn't a part of, taking someone's picture without permission, Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #13

Seems about the size of the whole deal to me. TheKentuckian Mar 2013 #21

! opiate69 Mar 2013 #22

well said Demo_Chris Mar 2013 #41

My Wife is a Feminist who functions very well in the tech industry, doesn't take any shit, Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #43

It's not private when they were in a setting where EVERYONE ELSE could hear their shit. alp227 Mar 2013 #53

Really. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #57

Those guys are ADULTS. They should take responsibility for their behavior. alp227 Mar 2013 #59

I'm sorry, but a "Dongle" joke is not something to make a fucking Federal case over. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #60

What federal case? alp227 Mar 2013 #61

Seriously?? opiate69 Mar 2013 #77

The ONLY reason it is such is because of the trolls who retaliated against Richards. alp227 Mar 2013 #124

what part of "eavesdropping" isn't getting through? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #135

What about shutting up or at least keeping it down in a professional setting? alp227 Mar 2013 #140

Since by all accounts it was ONE Dongle joke Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #142

So what if Richards has ethical issues of her own? alp227 Mar 2013 #143

Joking about a "big dongle" to your buddy is not "immoral" Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #146

Well it depends. Everyone's got their own social standards. alp227 Mar 2013 #152

don't get me started on what I hear working all night in tech Skittles Mar 2013 #112

Joan of Kardashian is more like it ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2013 #67

Indeed. theKed Mar 2013 #74

Well if women are going to make dick jokes and then try to get men fired for doing the same... dkf Mar 2013 #14

I thought this was a good piece...posted from the thread you referenced. dkf Mar 2013 #16

She employed a bullying tactic and the social media genie turned on her. JVS Mar 2013 #17

yup. agreed La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #32

One thing that I'm curious about, as someone who doesn't use Twitter and has petronius Mar 2013 #23

honestly i dont get donglegate. i think public shaming for a private joke La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #34

Defending what she did is even crazier. UnrepentantLiberal Mar 2013 #93

i think i would defend it, if they were making genuinely hateful comments La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #103

Yeah, or if woman were part of the conversation and UnrepentantLiberal Mar 2013 #115

I'm pretty sure she made some penis jokes at the same conference The Second Stone Mar 2013 #35

Most likely the tweet was sent to a trusted friend. alp227 Mar 2013 #54

the tweet was sent to her 10's of thousands of twitter followers. Phillip McCleod Mar 2013 #151

What you've described is a text message The Second Stone Mar 2013 #169

My girlfriend can identify about half-a-dozen reasons why there aren't more women in high tech, Sen. Walter Sobchak Mar 2013 #46

she has a pattern of doing this, over and over again. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #48

CORRECT Skittles Mar 2013 #86

The real villain in this is the manager who wouldn't do his job Warpy Mar 2013 #47

Is it okay to post peoples' pictures on the internet without their consent, or isn't it? Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #49

I do it all the time. We cheer it all the time here. Recursion Mar 2013 #101

If you are at a protest holding a sign, you are by definition asking for public attention. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #136

so true. nt La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #72

I am sure that's a part of it Nevernose Mar 2013 #58

Geez, as with anything, people should pick their battles wisely Vinnie From Indy Mar 2013 #62

i tend to agree. La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #69

Again: he has a kickstarter, she has death and rape threats Recursion Mar 2013 #64

Your point is well taken BainsBane Mar 2013 #70

yes, so that is clearly outrageous. the death and rape threats La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #71

Curious... theKed Mar 2013 #73

Others did Recursion Mar 2013 #75

Thanks. theKed Mar 2013 #79

No accusations? BainsBane Mar 2013 #90

shoo, stalker. theKed Mar 2013 #99

that was my point BainsBane Mar 2013 #107

Furthermore, theKed Mar 2013 #108

there was nothing vanity like about it. BainsBane Mar 2013 #119

Actually, I don't advocate taking the discussions out of my sight (not site) theKed Mar 2013 #123

No? Nothing to say about that? theKed Mar 2013 #131

for heaven's sake BainsBane Mar 2013 #133

Actually theKed Mar 2013 #134

Because she picked the shittiest venue to resolve a conflict and the inhabitants... JVS Mar 2013 #88

That she was stupid in putting the thing on Twitter is clear BainsBane Mar 2013 #89

That point is invalid because here on DU she didn't get threats or hatred. JVS Mar 2013 #92

the responses here exemplify perfectly BainsBane Mar 2013 #95

only if you dismiss disapproval for her actions as sexism JVS Mar 2013 #97

If you don't agree with everything every woman does UnrepentantLiberal Mar 2013 #102

when people automatically blame a woman BainsBane Mar 2013 #106

And you can determine if she's been given no consideration how? JVS Mar 2013 #109

by reading the responses BainsBane Mar 2013 #110

and back to post 97 we go JVS Mar 2013 #114

not necessarily BainsBane Mar 2013 #120

You said yourself she was wrong in the way she handled it. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #141

Where is that Kickstarter link you speak of? 2ndAmForComputers Mar 2013 #98

Dongle jokes are not as bad as marketing types refering to engineers as nerds, geeks and techies FarCenter Mar 2013 #116

nerd is nothing like the N-word. nt La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #117

It is when technically clueless twenty something marketing blondes apply it to computer scientists FarCenter Mar 2013 #121

no, it's not. as far as i know computer scientists have never been lynched La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #122

OK, but they are still hugely insulting terms, and should never be used in a professional setting. FarCenter Mar 2013 #125

yeah being called fat is hugely insulting but its nothing like a racially loaded word La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #127

My better half is an engineer. MannyGoldstein Mar 2013 #128

A guy in my neighborhood says he got mugged BainsBane Mar 2013 #153

The OP doesn't claim a single mugging MannyGoldstein Mar 2013 #162

If one of these guys had grabbed her ass, asked her for sex, commented on her body, Nye Bevan Mar 2013 #132

that would be assault BainsBane Mar 2013 #161

i'm not sure that 'it was the right thing to do' to tweet a pic. Phillip McCleod Mar 2013 #145

This message was self-deleted by its author Sen. Walter Sobchak Mar 2013 #155

In my long career, I have witnessed and been subjected to quite a bit of Live and Learn Mar 2013 #156

Heaven help her if she ever gets a job with Oscar Meyer. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #157

I work in tech.. sendero Mar 2013 #160

My girlfriend takes it a step further, Sen. Walter Sobchak Mar 2013 #163

There's no indication that Ms Richards had a difficult teen or early 20's career FarCenter Mar 2013 #168