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JanMichael

(25,725 posts)

15. No-- but-- my wife has a good friend

Reply to La Lioness Priyanka (Original post)

Fri Mar 29, 2013, 10:34 AM

Mar 2013

an African American male librarian....they were in the car one day on the way to a class on antique books, and a car full of young (eighteen y.o. or so) African Americans pulled up beside them at a stop light. This was a college town, with two large state universities in the area, so cars full of teenage boys was normal, and constant-

Their music was blariing....that "thumpa thumpa thumpa" music teenagers love to blast-

The friend rolled down the windows and yelled "N*****s! Turn that shit DOWN!"

My wife freaked out because they looked like typical college students to her, and she assumed that she might be seeing them in the library-

But, her friend didn't have a problem at all with it, AND the young guys turned their music down.

So...my question is....is the use of that word OK in certain circles, and used by African Americans?

We would not use it...ever, under any circumstance-- period.

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When you get really angry at someone do you use the N-word or say Faggot? [View all] La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 OP

I use both jollyreaper2112 Mar 2013 #1

I thought you mean Fuck it treestar Mar 2013 #2

You can change your vote. UnrepentantLiberal Mar 2013 #91

Cool treestar Mar 2013 #101

Hey SampleGirl, calling someone a Fa**ot is never okay. nt justiceischeap Mar 2013 #3

Her only post in 3 months is to say that it's ok to call someone a faggot. kestrel91316 Mar 2013 #53

There are so many other choie Mar 2013 #4

It took me a little while HappyMe Mar 2013 #5

When I'm really angry I say nothing. Scuba Mar 2013 #6

I cannot tell you how well this has served me. NCTraveler Mar 2013 #25

Is there a trick to getting the idiots in your life to leave you alone when you're angry? mythology Mar 2013 #117

I get speechless. I guess it's a weakness, but what can I do? I just walk away. dimbear Mar 2013 #136

I don't condone the use of either word. I can understand that someone pushed to the brink madinmaryland Mar 2013 #7

i dont know that i understand being racist because i was pushed to the brink La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #20

Never. And I'd like to add that there are lots of perks to being famous cali Mar 2013 #8

SO fucking true La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #21

43 years old, never uttered either word. vi5 Mar 2013 #9

I'm over 60, and ditto! MotherPetrie Mar 2013 #32

+1 And I wouldn't have anything do to with anyone who did. forestpath Mar 2013 #100

Never. And I can't remember the last time I heard either word pnwmom Mar 2013 #97

Approaching 60 and I've never used them either. Not once. Skidmore Mar 2013 #127

I don't, but hear and see both way too much-- JohnnyLib2 Mar 2013 #10

It's pretty sad that you ask this Trajan Mar 2013 #11

I don't. On the other hand, if someone else is looking for something nasty to call... JVS Mar 2013 #12

honestly, in my life i have only heard someone using the n-word as a insult once La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #14

Plus, using them casually is a sort of practice for heated situations JohnnyLib2 Mar 2013 #24

As a tactic, I think it works rather poorly to use some slurs. The last thing you want to do when... JVS Mar 2013 #29

Since you specified "as weapons" OriginalGeek Mar 2013 #13

i definitely meant as a weapon as opposed to an ingroup honorific La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #16

My wife and I go play cards/games/party with our son and DIL often OriginalGeek Mar 2013 #30

No-- but-- my wife has a good friend JanMichael Mar 2013 #15

because african americans haven't lynched each other using that word La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #18

perfect explanation, thanks Pri! bettyellen Mar 2013 #34

i teach psychology of stereotyping and discrimination La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #49

I think it's okay for AF. Amer. to call each other that name, but no one else. Cleita Mar 2013 #104

I learned to cuss with the best of them when I was in the military magellan Mar 2013 #17

The only times I've ever used those words are in quoting someone else kudzu22 Mar 2013 #19

agreed La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #22

Samplegirl samples: Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #23

Damn- that thread makes me sad. Lots of really good DUers bullwinkle428 Mar 2013 #38

Same here. Starry Messenger Mar 2013 #39

I never use those words. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #26

Never have, never will. UnrepentantLiberal Mar 2013 #27

No. Never. Both of those words leave a bad taste in my mouth. BlueCaliDem Mar 2013 #28

I have, and probably will again, but I know it's wrong. Glaug-Eldare Mar 2013 #31

Maybe I'm the only one? Glaug-Eldare Mar 2013 #99

I find myself more and more using Republican as the ultimate derogatory term. Bandit Mar 2013 #33

The N-word, I've used when discussing the utter inappropriateness Agnosticsherbet Mar 2013 #35

Hate speech of any kind is never okay. LWolf Mar 2013 #36

I have no impulse to use those words loyalsister Mar 2013 #107

I did frequently in my younger and dumber high school days Blue_Tires Mar 2013 #37

Nope, I don't MrScorpio Mar 2013 #40

I usually call someone a fucking asshole when I get pissed off. hobbit709 Mar 2013 #41

Your premise is false. 99Forever Mar 2013 #42

LOL. just saying my premise is false doesnt make it so. La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #43

Perhaps not, however... 99Forever Mar 2013 #45

we express out intentions through behavior. its the only way to La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #48

What? 99Forever Mar 2013 #55

i think you have a reading comprehension problem. nt La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #57

A personal insult now? 99Forever Mar 2013 #65

SHE WON THAT ONE Skittles Mar 2013 #122

Those things we say in the heat of the moment aptly illustrate both who we are LanternWaste Mar 2013 #93

WTF Skittles Mar 2013 #103

If only everyone was just like you! 99Forever Mar 2013 #108

non-racists and non-homophobes ARE like me Skittles Mar 2013 #115

You truly are awesome! 99Forever Mar 2013 #120

MOST stalked people do not resort to RACISM AND HOMOPHOBIA!!!! Skittles Mar 2013 #121

Really? 99Forever Mar 2013 #123

yeah, OK Skittles Mar 2013 #125

Oh noes! 99Forever Mar 2013 #126

what are you talking about? false premise? orleans Mar 2013 #143

This is the premise: 99Forever Mar 2013 #147

meh! Mr Dixon Mar 2013 #44

Never.... Tikki Mar 2013 #46

When I'm really angry I just use G'damned A-hole. It's non specific. Myrina Mar 2013 #47

I'm a hot head and when I get angry, I will speak out. Sheepshank Mar 2013 #50

What?! People who use either word when angry have racism and homophobia in their heart Politicub Mar 2013 #51

that's exactly what i think La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #59

Those two words are never Sissyk Mar 2013 #52

I will confess to having muttered the N word under my kestrel91316 Mar 2013 #54

are you black? La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #58

Really? Number23 Mar 2013 #134

that was almost exactly what i was going to write (i was going to La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #135

Exactly. I was hoping the poster would have an answer by now, but I guess not. Number23 Mar 2013 #141

Sorry I did not read it right........... samplegirl Mar 2013 #56

A genuine question regarding the use of "Faggot" StrongBad Mar 2013 #60

yes, it's still wrong because the underlying assumption is still homophobic La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #62

Fair points StrongBad Mar 2013 #76

my answer to that is i am not sure. really. i am not sure how i feel about it. La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #77

I still think it and then realize that it is wrong LiberalFighter Mar 2013 #61

there are thousands of insults that are not race based or bigotry based La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #64

DU is the only place i hear/see those words used. RC Mar 2013 #63

I use the N-word LittleBlue Mar 2013 #66

I have a hard time sayin them in my head . olddots Mar 2013 #67

Nope, I never even think them in my head. Beacool Mar 2013 #68

No. I prefer calling them assholes. Cleita Mar 2013 #69

there were five people who said it was ok to use those words in limited circumstances fizzgig Mar 2013 #70

Hell no. Apophis Mar 2013 #71

Not okay. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2013 #72

I Say Neither RobinA Mar 2013 #73

Back in the days of lynching and gay bashing (actual bashing not insults) Kalidurga Mar 2013 #132

The thing is this: it is incredibly common to hear vicious, casual homophobia from actual adult Bluenorthwest Mar 2013 #74

which is why i think the faggot part of that encounter didnt shock me as much as the use La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #75

People sure as fuck think the one is acceptable, and once you accept the one, the rest will follow. Bluenorthwest Mar 2013 #79

there was a lot of defense of hopper on that thread because apparently the paparazzi deserved it La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #80

There's never an excuse for bad manners n/t aristocles Mar 2013 #78

Never used N word but iffy on F word. edbermac Mar 2013 #81

Sissy as a basis for f*ggot is still homophobic FreeState Mar 2013 #112

True, good point. edbermac Mar 2013 #116

i think some of this is regional arely staircase Mar 2013 #140

Yep. Those type words hit two birds with one stone, gays & women. Many hate us both. Little Star Mar 2013 #148

I only use the N word when quoting Chris Rock. cbdo2007 Mar 2013 #82

My nasty-knob goes to 11! backscatter712 Mar 2013 #83

me too. i am fine with insults just not bigotry La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #85

How about the DU posters whom "hate old white guys"? just1voice Mar 2013 #84

dude, you can pretend as much as you want that we live in ahistoric acontextual world La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #86

Which specific word is hateful, "old", "white" or "guys"? LanternWaste Mar 2013 #96

I've never used either word in my life and I was born in 1949 aint_no_life_nowhere Mar 2013 #87

There have been times, when really provoked, where I have likely uttered something vile, but... av8rdave Mar 2013 #88

This message was self-deleted by its author devilgrrl Mar 2013 #89

That is never okay. dawg Mar 2013 #90

I can't say I never have, but it's been decades. bluedigger Mar 2013 #92

that's fair La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #94

No, I prefer "dumbass" get the red out Mar 2013 #95

I get angry when I hear someone use those horrible, hurtful words. David Zephyr Mar 2013 #98

Nope, never. I don't shoot them either. Squinch Mar 2013 #102

the n word offends me arely staircase Mar 2013 #105

No, but I do curse them using ancient and strange quinnox Mar 2013 #106

I seldom get really angry tularetom Mar 2013 #109

No, and that's never even crossed my mind. n/t Lil Missy Mar 2013 #110

thats part of my point. without underlying bias, why would these words cross your mind La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #111

I'm curious what your conclusion is about people like me. Glaug-Eldare Mar 2013 #113

what does bad mean? are you generally bad? how should i know? La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #118

You forgot the "NO! HELL NO!" selection. Matariki Mar 2013 #114

Never. Not even in private. Courtesy Flush Mar 2013 #119

I have a filthy mouth .... etherealtruth Mar 2013 #124

I just say 'dumbass.' wyldwolf Mar 2013 #128

I do not. Iggo Mar 2013 #129

yeah, i get the thing about f-word which is why when he said it La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #131

I don't use those words because they're low class, tacky words Warpy Mar 2013 #130

I grew up in Oak Park Illinois (very liberal,jewish,polish,irish,hispanic,asian ect...) 4 t 4 Mar 2013 #133

My later childhood was spent in Dixie. Warpy Mar 2013 #137

When words like those are used in anger/as a weapon, it IS the very definition of a slur. Jamastiene Mar 2013 #138

"They're only words. It's the context that counts. It's the intention behind the words that makes arely staircase Mar 2013 #139

That never occurs to me Mira Mar 2013 #142

agreed. La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2013 #150

It is NEVER "O.K" to use those words DiverDave Mar 2013 #144

The sign of true rage Prism Mar 2013 #145

No, never. PotatoChip Mar 2013 #146

No, never, along with Bi*ch, Wh**e, Sl*t, etc. n/t Little Star Mar 2013 #149

Their was a day when I use the F-word as applied to gay men but I don't brewens Mar 2013 #151

When I Swear At People, I'm Likely To Say Something Else Vogon_Glory Mar 2013 #152

No I say FUCK! Rex Mar 2013 #153