General Discussion

SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)

6. Not EVERYONE "needs" to do any ONE thing.

Tue Apr 2, 2013, 07:20 PM

Apr 2013

For people who are more interested in career and self-realization, and who are NOT interested in being married, there are many paths to follow.

People start dating quite early these days.

By the time someone is a college graduate, they have probably dated MANY boys/men.

The women I have known in my almost 64 years, rarely have gone far from the "mold".. They tend to like the same "kind" of man, and withing a few minutes of meeting one, they can pretty much tell if it's a go or no-go.

Movies/pop-culture have muddied the waters, and have mostly confused the hell out of many people.

It's ALL a choice...

Marry young..hope for the best..have kids while you are young & healthy

Marry later..after dating a gazillion guys (usually the same guy in many ways).. find yourself "successful" (or not) 38 and spending a fortune on fertility treatments for a baby who will grow up in daycare..and who will still hate you when he/she is 16..only then you will be knee-deep in menopause

It;s all a tradeoff.. We are all on a one way trip..there are many roads to the end destination..

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If only I'd snagged a Princeton man [View all] monmouth3 Apr 2013 OP

If you look at the arc of your life, she does have a point. SoCalDem Apr 2013 #1

You make many, many good points...n/t monmouth3 Apr 2013 #2

That reminds me of the old joke about geek tragedy Apr 2013 #3

When I think back to college, and the handful of women who were there for an MRS degree... winter is coming Apr 2013 #4

Yeah, the whole idea is really ickily classist as well as Mad Men. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #5

It depends on circumstances and luck Kber Apr 2013 #23

True. Among the couples I'm friends with, there's only one couple that married right winter is coming Apr 2013 #24

Not EVERYONE "needs" to do any ONE thing. SoCalDem Apr 2013 #6

Problem is with the "marry that man while you still can" is that it usually carries with it geek tragedy Apr 2013 #9

Being an asshole is not age-dependent SoCalDem Apr 2013 #14

Not age-dependent, but maturity is an issue. geek tragedy Apr 2013 #17

Because a 21-year-old man is too young. But hey---SOMEbody has to be the First Wife. :-) WinkyDink Apr 2013 #8

Not everyone in college is the same age these days.. SoCalDem Apr 2013 #10

I know that; the Princeton Mom doesn't seem to! WinkyDink Apr 2013 #73

My ex is now on wife number 3 BainsBane Apr 2013 #18

I've been laughing at the responses all weekend malaise Apr 2013 #11

Same here.. I had it all..Just not all at the same time SoCalDem Apr 2013 #15

I don't get it malaise Apr 2013 #26

When I was in college, we joked about the guys looking for their "diploma wife": winter is coming Apr 2013 #32

They could always marry at 22 like I did BainsBane Apr 2013 #12

Thanks for the excellent post, SoCalDem. protect our future Apr 2013 #27

The same could be said for the men treestar Apr 2013 #76

Yes..except for the movies where they always seem to stay attached SoCalDem Apr 2013 #77

Alas, I had my eye on Lyle Menendez. WinkyDink Apr 2013 #7

Now there's a catch BainsBane Apr 2013 #13

One of the greatest advances of the last century BainsBane Apr 2013 #16

That and birth control SoCalDem Apr 2013 #21

I was out of college fifty years ago and I did make my own living, but it was true that my Cleita Apr 2013 #22

Aye, yi, yi! Cleita Apr 2013 #19

Link to the video? alp227 Apr 2013 #28

Video is on the same link as the OP. Cleita Apr 2013 #31

Oh you're a 50s child? I get it. n/t alp227 Apr 2013 #40

I am proud to be an exception liberal_at_heart Apr 2013 #44

Great letter! babylonsister Apr 2013 #20

The final two paragraphs rock BainsBane Apr 2013 #25

Perhaps Princeton should teach protect our future Apr 2013 #29

that's not the point BainsBane Apr 2013 #30

The opinion I expressed in my post was protect our future Apr 2013 #33

That paragraph was sarcastic BainsBane Apr 2013 #34

Uh huh. Okay, your turn. protect our future Apr 2013 #35

What is your point now? BainsBane Apr 2013 #36

Which of your four or five thinly-veiled protect our future Apr 2013 #37

OMG BainsBane Apr 2013 #38

My problem is that I know quite well protect our future Apr 2013 #39

this thread isn't about men at all BainsBane Apr 2013 #41

Sure. Your turn again. protect our future Apr 2013 #47

It's obviously wasted efffort BainsBane Apr 2013 #48

I agree. protect our future Apr 2013 #51

Bless your heart BainsBane Apr 2013 #52

Patton's no; Brazile's yes. protect our future Apr 2013 #54

Wow - you are making zero sense. Sheldon Cooper Apr 2013 #62

Perhaps I want to see what responses protect our future Apr 2013 #70

"gently opinionated when appropriate" well, bless your heart. bettyellen Apr 2013 #43

ooh, I missed that part BainsBane Apr 2013 #49

Ya got me there, bettyellen! Very poor choice protect our future Apr 2013 #53

being smart doesn't necessarily equate to being a good person. liberal_at_heart Apr 2013 #42

I went to law school with about 100 very smart male jerks. amandabeech Apr 2013 #45

Have you tried looking him up? BainsBane Apr 2013 #57

Married and living in England. Unfortunately. n/t amandabeech Apr 2013 #60

Your post reminded me of the day I met my guy. I had seen protect our future Apr 2013 #55

Nor does going to Princeton necessarily equate with being smart. nt BainsBane Apr 2013 #58

When I was a senior in college I was engaged to a fellow student, a junior with a similar background Rowdyboy Apr 2013 #46

What an excellent example BainsBane Apr 2013 #56

Patton's argument also assumes a woman's education ends with a BA BainsBane Apr 2013 #50

Did you watch that video? UnrepentantLiberal Apr 2013 #59

I didn't plan on getting an MRS degree, but I did. knitter4democracy Apr 2013 #61

Actually, back in the fifties that was a plan of a lot of the men. Cleita Apr 2013 #67

There are many of us still. knitter4democracy Apr 2013 #71

You are moving on and that is good. Cleita Apr 2013 #72

Stability in marriage depends on accommodating change FarCenter Apr 2013 #63

She didn't say that if you wait until age X, neither of you will change gollygee Apr 2013 #64

You are absolutely right about that one. liberal_at_heart Apr 2013 #65

Oh, dear, what's a lesbian to do? nt Zorra Apr 2013 #66

indeed BainsBane Apr 2013 #68

Marry a Princeton woman maybe? n/t Cleita Apr 2013 #69

I married my husband who I met in college Nikia Apr 2013 #74

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #75