Markie Sanford had his mistress/fianceé/hussy with him at his victory party:

[IdaBriggs]

29. Yup. That is me - I am very puritanical and judgmental.

Especially when it comes to unsanctioned adultery.

I got that way a long time ago. My then boyfriend/now husband and I were camping with a bunch of his friends. The only guy in the group who was married left his (pregnant) wife home with their two young children, and promptly picked up a "camping fling". I thought it was strange, but everyone whispered to me that he and his wife had an "open relationship" so I kept my nose out of it. It got awkward a couple of times (like when it became apparent he hadn't told her he was married and she was talking about how she didn't sleep with married men), but my boyfriend/now husband hustled me away and we talked about keeping out of other people's drama. I felt guilty for not saying anything to her, but resolved that she was a grown woman, and it wasn't my business. (I have questioned that decision many times in the years since, because I feel we were complicit in her deception.) There was no question about their level of activity - we were camping in tents, and it was an unpleasant trip.

During the same period, another friend of mine found out she had been given an STD that was going to seriously impact both her health, and possibly that of any children she might have in the future if appropriate precautions weren't made. Insult to the injury: the guy knew he had the disease, but didn't tell her until *after* he slept with her, because otherwise he was afraid she wouldn't. I woke up on the next-to-last day on the trip from a nightmare about this situation, with the pregnant wife on my mind, and politely talked to the "camping fling" guy saying, "look, I know it is none of my business, but I just had a nightmare about babies and STDs, so will you please just reassure me that you guys are using protection?" (And yes, I know that doesn't protect from all, but some is better than none.)

Dipshit told me "she isn't the type of girl who gets STDs." I flipped out - "She was sleeping with a total stranger within two hours of meeting you, and STDs don't care if you are NICE!" before stalking away.

The next day we all arrived home, and as we dropped him off, his wife did the "pregnant waddle" up to me, and bluntly asked if her husband had been "good" - huh? I asked what she meant, and she clarified what "good" meant. I hedged, hemmed, hawed: "shouldn't you be having this conversation with him?" as I came to terms with the fact she was unaware of her "open marriage" and that Dipshit had been lying to everyone because that is the type of person he was. Finally I told her all I could say was that for the sake of her unborn baby, I wouldn't recommend sleeping with him without a condom until after he'd had some testing done.

They patched things together for a few more years; later he brought another mistress to a wedding that he'd sent her home from, but at that point, I was staying pretty far away from the both of them. It made me look at my husband-to-be in a whole new light: "everyone of you guys was covering for him - would you do that to me, too?"

For me, it isn't so much about "what parts are going where" but about the deception and lies. If you aren't happy in your marriage or relationship, leave; don't endanger someone else's health and well being, or humiliate them in front of people by making them look like stupid gullible fools.

It is mean and shameful behavior, and I don't want to be around it. There were other incidents in my life (some of them painful because people I cared about were struggling with these issues), but they simply have reinforced that people who "cheat" are really displaying character I don't respect. I also trust the people involved to handle it, and I don't want my nose rubbed in it.

These are my thoughts. Your mileage may vary.