General Discussion

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)

38. Nope. I am very clear on my issues with sex and deception.

Wed Apr 3, 2013, 11:31 AM

Apr 2013

You can read the "long" reply I made above if you aren't clear.

If you don't understand the boundaries "don't lie to your partner(s)" that is okay.

If you make an agreement that you are in a monogamous relationship, and then decide you are the only one who is going to know about the rule change, you are not a Nice human being.

If you make an agreement that you are in a monogamous relationship, and then decide you want to change the rules, tell your partner; they get to decide whether or not they want to be in that type of relationship.

When you don't tell them because you are afraid they will leave you, so you take away their power to decide, and possibly endanger their health and well being because of it, I will join in the "slut shaming" regardless of sex.

And if you are stupid enough to sleep with someone whose partner *thinks* they are in a monogamous relationship, a) they are not nice; b) you are stupid for sleeping with somebody like that; and c) you aren't nice, either.

These are my views. Yours may be different.

Welcome to my puritanical and judgmental world.

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Markie Sanford had his mistress/fiance�/hussy with him at his victory party: [View all] Are_grits_groceries Apr 2013 OP

At least rudy guiliano married his mistress before trotting her out. nt Kahuna Apr 2013 #1

Title is inappropriate brooklynite Apr 2013 #2

She did the same thing he did. dawg Apr 2013 #4

Sanford's sin isn't adultery. baldguy Apr 2013 #161

That's what I have been commenting marlakay Apr 2013 #176

Takes two to tango. nt Comrade_McKenzie Apr 2013 #6

I'll criticize her too. Are_grits_groceries Apr 2013 #13

why didn't you call Him a hussy... Whisp Apr 2013 #33

...at the very least, go with "strumpet" brooklynite Apr 2013 #46

aren't strumpets something you have with tea Whisp Apr 2013 #51

I believe that you are thinking of R. Daneel Olivaw Apr 2013 #66

kinky devil aren't you dlwickham Apr 2013 #130

Aren't those 'crumpets'? sabrina 1 Apr 2013 #87

Or floozie Capt. Obvious Apr 2013 #67

Harlot? Woman of ill repute? Tainted lady? BainsBane Apr 2013 #143

DU'ers weren't as accepting of Edward's impregnated mistress. Funny that, KittyWampus Apr 2013 #160

That's something you should definitely BainsBane Apr 2013 #173

She's not an adulterer? progressoid Apr 2013 #196

not up on my bible rules BainsBane Apr 2013 #198

Yeah, I just edited my post. progressoid Apr 2013 #199

That would make him a rake, a bounder, and a cad...and he is all that, and more! nt MADem Apr 2013 #189

At least he didn't call her a harlot. Hussy is mild compared to that. nt Kahuna Apr 2013 #121

I think he actually used the term "soul-mate" PassingFair Apr 2013 #159

I would go with "cheap whore" as a good description of him. Katashi_itto Apr 2013 #139

Well, his ex recounted with some detail that his frugality knew no bounds! nt MADem Apr 2013 #191

Problem is, you didn't criticize her *too.* Gormy Cuss Apr 2013 #40

It takes two. HappyMe Apr 2013 #14

You have to blame both MFM008 Apr 2013 #135

She's not running for public office BainsBane Apr 2013 #144

it's our business when he uses public money to pay for his jaunts and takes off from work to philand KittyWampus Apr 2013 #162

true, but that has nothing to do with her moral virtue. BainsBane Apr 2013 #172

Good for him. Do you need more hypocrisy in this story? Mass Apr 2013 #3

well mercuryblues Apr 2013 #55

As I said, plenty of ethic problems. Mass Apr 2013 #59

I've got no problems with her, only with him. truebluegreen Apr 2013 #5

Hussy? No thanks on the slut-shaming. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #7

Agreed. Sheldon Cooper Apr 2013 #10

I don't think anybody is shaming her, just laughing at her and him and the whole situation.... snooper2 Apr 2013 #21

Every term of disparagement has been reclaimed by someone. geek tragedy Apr 2013 #32

Yep, makes words cool like that... snooper2 Apr 2013 #34

Unintentional irony is the best kind. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #76

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #85

Um... cyberswede Apr 2013 #86

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #88

"Wherher to be ironic..." are you serious? redqueen Apr 2013 #91

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #95

The person who posted this story didn't use the term. redqueen Apr 2013 #96

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #98

Welcome to DU. nt redqueen Apr 2013 #99

Using that term is not anywhere close to being the same calling a woman a slut. redqueen Apr 2013 #90

yes, and I would prefer not to see BainsBane Apr 2013 #141

Yes, I think she is a "shameless hussy," something I have secretely aspired to in a way. CTyankee Apr 2013 #93

"Slut Shaming" is now the most over-used phrase on DU. KittyWampus Apr 2013 #163

Well, no, the problem is that there geek tragedy Apr 2013 #165

And with that, end thread. Gravitycollapse Apr 2013 #193

Nothing wrong with having multiple girlfriends. Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #8

There IS something wrong with having multiple girlfriends meow2u3 Apr 2013 #17

Are you a member of his flock? Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #19

I'm not using RW values; he's the one using them meow2u3 Apr 2013 #26

Fair enough, the straightjacket of "family values" Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #28

Holding an individual to the same standard they hold others to is neither... LanternWaste Apr 2013 #31

Isn't it catching them at their own game Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #70

Or Hoisted by One's Own Petard! VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #155

who gives a flying fuck? cali Apr 2013 #9

+1 Matariki Apr 2013 #115

Perhaps the people who actually live in that state might give a flying fuck. VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #156

Hah, this is why I wish people would post (SATIRE) on threads from The Onion. W_HAMILTON Apr 2013 #11

I just don't want to go there. mainer Apr 2013 #12

+1 Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #20

sooooooo MFM008 Apr 2013 #136

Really. Commitments mean nothing? October Apr 2013 #181

As others have said, "slut shaming" is a no go for me. stevenleser Apr 2013 #15

TY! n/t Agschmid Apr 2013 #54

I'm good with the "slut shaming." Screw around with a married person behind their spouse's back - IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #16

wow. It doesn't get more puritanical and judgmental than that. cali Apr 2013 #18

So is she to be held up as an example of HappyMe Apr 2013 #22

uh, no. why does it have to be one or another> cali Apr 2013 #53

No, it doesn't have to be one or the other. HappyMe Apr 2013 #60

According to his ex-wife, his wedding vows did not include fidelity LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #167

Yup. That is me - I am very puritanical and judgmental. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #29

So you were good with the woman Edwards impregnated on the campaign trail? Or is this DU'ers chance KittyWampus Apr 2013 #170

There's nothing wrong with screwing a married man? treestar Apr 2013 #200

I'm confused, you have an equality avatar but sound like you are a member of a fundamentalist Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #24

Nope. I am very clear on my issues with sex and deception. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #38

Thank you! bravenak Apr 2013 #114

so you don't like Bill Clinton much, then? Whisp Apr 2013 #35

A Bill Clinton word salad HangOnKids Apr 2013 #44

I like the term '"word salad" Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #166

I despised the fact Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky disrespected Hillary Clinton IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #45

a most reasonable reply, Ida. Whisp Apr 2013 #52

Monica apparently went to Washington with the intent to sleep with the President VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #157

You should probably just get rid of you little equality heart... Agschmid Apr 2013 #57

Why on earth would I do that? I *support* marriage equality. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #58

Not under than impression... pretty familiar with the symbol. Agschmid Apr 2013 #61

I am *totally* okay with "slut shaming" people who do what these two did. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #62

Yup you win! Agschmid Apr 2013 #63

Okay - Lol. Totally weird. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #65

Not that weird... you said you were *okay* with it. Agschmid Apr 2013 #72

Reasonable on both of our parts (yeah, discussion board!). IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #80

I think the public humiliation is what bothers me. What kind of person does this CTyankee Apr 2013 #100

Narcissist. It really is all about *him* and his happiness. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #111

Bad as it is, being told by your husband he just doesn't want to continue the marriage CTyankee Apr 2013 #127

I actually went and read the emails so I could answer the 'mistress didn't know' IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #131

I don't understand how its technically slut shaming when BOTH of them are being excoriated here VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #158

Yes I think so. Agschmid Apr 2013 #194

The two sluts in the OP can legally marry ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #84

Ugh... Hate the word, sorry. N/t Agschmid Apr 2013 #195

She didn't necessarily know he was married. Men do lie about that. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #105

Please don't pretend she didn't know - he was a public figure (she knew his job) IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #108

Maybe not right away....and women do fall in love with married men. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #109

I think she is a Bad Person and so is He. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #110

Jesus probably said it best.... yellowcanine Apr 2013 #113

Wow - so not giving him a job after he stole from the public coffers IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #116

Wow. Straw man much? yellowcanine Apr 2013 #118

No - the discussion is whether THEY deserve to be "slut shamed." IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #122

Wow. Testy much? You keep believing that and have a good day. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #124

Actually, I am. You too. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #126

he's a public figure. of course she knew. HiPointDem Apr 2013 #129

I notice she finally plucked her eyebrows. MoonRiver Apr 2013 #23

What's the male equivalent of 'hussy'? redqueen Apr 2013 #25

Gigolo, himbo, boytoy, player, horndog.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #37

First thing I noticed was that his proper name was used... LanternWaste Apr 2013 #41

Yep. Which pretty much speaks for itself, redqueen Apr 2013 #48

In addition to everything listed in post 37, add "manwhore" snooper2 Apr 2013 #42

You can call men sluts. HappyMe Apr 2013 #43

there is none Whisp Apr 2013 #49

pimp....player Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #68

Stud..nt Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #69

Right. Because no one at DU ever criticizes Mark Sanford. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #77

Expect to get the "THIS IS NOT ABOUT MARK SANFORD" reply.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #81

Geoffrey Chaucer Rex Apr 2013 #142

Is she a private citizen? undeterred Apr 2013 #27

Really could do without the word 'hussy'. Ditto 'slut'. Demit Apr 2013 #30

Actually I use the word 'slut' when it HappyMe Apr 2013 #36

The 'man-whore' bit just proves my point. Demit Apr 2013 #47

Thank you! redqueen Apr 2013 #50

I don't care if it catches on or not. HappyMe Apr 2013 #56

Bless their hearts ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #39

She looks like an ex-girlfriend of mine AngryAmish Apr 2013 #64

The Dems should plant John Edwards in the race just to troll SC Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #71

That's brilliant! HappyMe Apr 2013 #74

+1 uponit7771 Apr 2013 #75

Wow. You are an Evil Genius. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #82

Wrong Carolina SoCalDem Apr 2013 #146

I was thinking Edwards still owned or rented something in SC Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #147

why dont you edit the word "hussy" out of your post RedstDem Apr 2013 #73

Its sad to see how embarrassed his kids are Sunlei Apr 2013 #78

What's With Calling Her Names? otohara Apr 2013 #79

I thought Elizabeth Hussey was great in Romeo and Juliet. Lint Head Apr 2013 #83

I'm hoping you will edit the subject line Marrah_G Apr 2013 #89

HEAVENS TO BETSY!!!!111 OUTRAGE!!!!!!11111 datasuspect Apr 2013 #92

So what? LittleBlue Apr 2013 #94

Tsk! Tsk! Fetch the smelling salts!! Tierra_y_Libertad Apr 2013 #97

With so many newsworthy stories, I'm trashing this one. nt. OldDem2012 Apr 2013 #101

Love happens wilt the stilt Apr 2013 #102

I thinkyou can be "in love" and still not humiliate your wife in the way he did. CTyankee Apr 2013 #145

Isn't going how you thought it would, huh? Dreamer Tatum Apr 2013 #103

Unless you have some evidence of promiscuity "hussy" is out of line. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #104

and its still wrong MFM008 Apr 2013 #140

Am I missing something here? The OP seems to be more negative about HER than HIM. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #185

She looks like him siligut Apr 2013 #106

no you are seeing things wilt the stilt Apr 2013 #117

she is far better looking than he is JI7 Apr 2013 #150

Nothing till he's elected LynnTTT Apr 2013 #107

She seems like an attractive woman. What the H would she want with him?n/t Cleita Apr 2013 #112

Power is a great aphrodisiac. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #120

I can understand the upset with the word hussy dsc Apr 2013 #119

Democrats love to shoot ourselves in the foot. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #123

I don't believe she deserves the name-calling. Blue_In_AK Apr 2013 #125

Not as bad as this: no_hypocrisy Apr 2013 #128

I remember that one - shock of ages when he dumped her for the next one. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #132

None had less class than those two back in the day. Cleita Apr 2013 #133

Republican adultery is holy! Warpy Apr 2013 #134

It's almost a sacrament for them. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #151

Why do they look like they think they just did something cute? bravenak Apr 2013 #137

"hussy"? BainsBane Apr 2013 #138

At some point, and I don't know if he concealed his marriage from her.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #149

the Children would be hurt more by staying with their mom just because it was seen JI7 Apr 2013 #152

But he essentially was going to try to stay with the mother while eating his cake too ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #153

i agree that he should have quietly divorced his wife JI7 Apr 2013 #154

i think he did the right thing in being with the person he loves and wants JI7 Apr 2013 #148

I agree with you that she is somewhat less guilty than he is. CTyankee Apr 2013 #164

i just don't think it matters much at this point, it's not our business JI7 Apr 2013 #169

But Sanford brought the whole thing up by brandishing her as a trophy at the CTyankee Apr 2013 #177

he wasn't brandishing her, she is engaged to him, usually the significant others of JI7 Apr 2013 #180

Politically, I totally agree with you. But I still take exception to his brandishing her. CTyankee Apr 2013 #182

I'll worry about her behavior BainsBane Apr 2013 #175

You think spending public money on his get aways & taking time off while his staff didn't know wher KittyWampus Apr 2013 #171

what if he was doing it with his wife ? JI7 Apr 2013 #174

perhaps you need to edit your post for spelling...just a "word to the wise" here... CTyankee Apr 2013 #179

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #168

Jeez...are you OK? CTyankee Apr 2013 #178

It's the pollen. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #188

They're getting married. At the end of the day, he's no different than Newt, St. Ronnie, etc. Blasphemer Apr 2013 #183

No, if it were just that I would agree. But he publicly humiliated his wife. CTyankee Apr 2013 #184

She looks enough like the ex-wife to be her little sister. MADem Apr 2013 #186

I was wondering the same thing. Jenny had the money. I guess he got it by the special CTyankee Apr 2013 #190

His people are not "poor"--but her people had the powerhouse dough. MADem Apr 2013 #192

I'm jealous of the worthless POS. nt Jack Sprat Apr 2013 #187

She didn't take a vow. rucky Apr 2013 #197

Not exactly. She had her lying, cheating rebuke boyfriend with her. curlyred Apr 2013 #201