General Discussion

CTyankee

(68,282 posts)

127. Bad as it is, being told by your husband he just doesn't want to continue the marriage

Wed Apr 3, 2013, 03:48 PM

Apr 2013

is better than finding that out in a very public way and she's "the last to know." Even if he admits to having the affair, telling his wife first and working out an agreement whereby they jointly issue a press release saying they are ending their marriage is far preferable to her being blindsided.

I don't know about her, but her culture might be more European in her outlook about these things. They do call Buenos Aires the "Paris of South America." So I suspect this mistress role was not such a strange cultural situation to her way of thinking. OR, she might have just wanted a better life than she had. My sister in law announced to her husband of 15 years that she wanted a divorce with exactly that reason. He was dumbfounded. Within 2 years she had gotten rid of him and married the guy she had been having an affair with for a long time...she simply got a "better offer" despite their two young daughters. That's pretty raw...

I call all this 'opportunistic."

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Markie Sanford had his mistress/fiance�/hussy with him at his victory party: [View all] Are_grits_groceries Apr 2013 OP

At least rudy guiliano married his mistress before trotting her out. nt Kahuna Apr 2013 #1

Title is inappropriate brooklynite Apr 2013 #2

She did the same thing he did. dawg Apr 2013 #4

Sanford's sin isn't adultery. baldguy Apr 2013 #161

That's what I have been commenting marlakay Apr 2013 #176

Takes two to tango. nt Comrade_McKenzie Apr 2013 #6

I'll criticize her too. Are_grits_groceries Apr 2013 #13

why didn't you call Him a hussy... Whisp Apr 2013 #33

...at the very least, go with "strumpet" brooklynite Apr 2013 #46

aren't strumpets something you have with tea Whisp Apr 2013 #51

I believe that you are thinking of R. Daneel Olivaw Apr 2013 #66

kinky devil aren't you dlwickham Apr 2013 #130

Aren't those 'crumpets'? sabrina 1 Apr 2013 #87

Or floozie Capt. Obvious Apr 2013 #67

Harlot? Woman of ill repute? Tainted lady? BainsBane Apr 2013 #143

DU'ers weren't as accepting of Edward's impregnated mistress. Funny that, KittyWampus Apr 2013 #160

That's something you should definitely BainsBane Apr 2013 #173

She's not an adulterer? progressoid Apr 2013 #196

not up on my bible rules BainsBane Apr 2013 #198

Yeah, I just edited my post. progressoid Apr 2013 #199

That would make him a rake, a bounder, and a cad...and he is all that, and more! nt MADem Apr 2013 #189

At least he didn't call her a harlot. Hussy is mild compared to that. nt Kahuna Apr 2013 #121

I think he actually used the term "soul-mate" PassingFair Apr 2013 #159

I would go with "cheap whore" as a good description of him. Katashi_itto Apr 2013 #139

Well, his ex recounted with some detail that his frugality knew no bounds! nt MADem Apr 2013 #191

Problem is, you didn't criticize her *too.* Gormy Cuss Apr 2013 #40

It takes two. HappyMe Apr 2013 #14

You have to blame both MFM008 Apr 2013 #135

She's not running for public office BainsBane Apr 2013 #144

it's our business when he uses public money to pay for his jaunts and takes off from work to philand KittyWampus Apr 2013 #162

true, but that has nothing to do with her moral virtue. BainsBane Apr 2013 #172

Good for him. Do you need more hypocrisy in this story? Mass Apr 2013 #3

well mercuryblues Apr 2013 #55

As I said, plenty of ethic problems. Mass Apr 2013 #59

I've got no problems with her, only with him. truebluegreen Apr 2013 #5

Hussy? No thanks on the slut-shaming. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #7

Agreed. Sheldon Cooper Apr 2013 #10

I don't think anybody is shaming her, just laughing at her and him and the whole situation.... snooper2 Apr 2013 #21

Every term of disparagement has been reclaimed by someone. geek tragedy Apr 2013 #32

Yep, makes words cool like that... snooper2 Apr 2013 #34

Unintentional irony is the best kind. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #76

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #85

Um... cyberswede Apr 2013 #86

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #88

"Wherher to be ironic..." are you serious? redqueen Apr 2013 #91

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #95

The person who posted this story didn't use the term. redqueen Apr 2013 #96

Message auto-removed albegensian Apr 2013 #98

Welcome to DU. nt redqueen Apr 2013 #99

Using that term is not anywhere close to being the same calling a woman a slut. redqueen Apr 2013 #90

yes, and I would prefer not to see BainsBane Apr 2013 #141

Yes, I think she is a "shameless hussy," something I have secretely aspired to in a way. CTyankee Apr 2013 #93

"Slut Shaming" is now the most over-used phrase on DU. KittyWampus Apr 2013 #163

Well, no, the problem is that there geek tragedy Apr 2013 #165

And with that, end thread. Gravitycollapse Apr 2013 #193

Nothing wrong with having multiple girlfriends. Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #8

There IS something wrong with having multiple girlfriends meow2u3 Apr 2013 #17

Are you a member of his flock? Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #19

I'm not using RW values; he's the one using them meow2u3 Apr 2013 #26

Fair enough, the straightjacket of "family values" Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #28

Holding an individual to the same standard they hold others to is neither... LanternWaste Apr 2013 #31

Isn't it catching them at their own game Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #70

Or Hoisted by One's Own Petard! VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #155

who gives a flying fuck? cali Apr 2013 #9

+1 Matariki Apr 2013 #115

Perhaps the people who actually live in that state might give a flying fuck. VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #156

Hah, this is why I wish people would post (SATIRE) on threads from The Onion. W_HAMILTON Apr 2013 #11

I just don't want to go there. mainer Apr 2013 #12

+1 Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #20

sooooooo MFM008 Apr 2013 #136

Really. Commitments mean nothing? October Apr 2013 #181

As others have said, "slut shaming" is a no go for me. stevenleser Apr 2013 #15

TY! n/t Agschmid Apr 2013 #54

I'm good with the "slut shaming." Screw around with a married person behind their spouse's back - IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #16

wow. It doesn't get more puritanical and judgmental than that. cali Apr 2013 #18

So is she to be held up as an example of HappyMe Apr 2013 #22

uh, no. why does it have to be one or another> cali Apr 2013 #53

No, it doesn't have to be one or the other. HappyMe Apr 2013 #60

According to his ex-wife, his wedding vows did not include fidelity LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #167

Yup. That is me - I am very puritanical and judgmental. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #29

So you were good with the woman Edwards impregnated on the campaign trail? Or is this DU'ers chance KittyWampus Apr 2013 #170

There's nothing wrong with screwing a married man? treestar Apr 2013 #200

I'm confused, you have an equality avatar but sound like you are a member of a fundamentalist Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #24

Nope. I am very clear on my issues with sex and deception. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #38

Thank you! bravenak Apr 2013 #114

so you don't like Bill Clinton much, then? Whisp Apr 2013 #35

A Bill Clinton word salad HangOnKids Apr 2013 #44

I like the term '"word salad" Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #166

I despised the fact Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky disrespected Hillary Clinton IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #45

a most reasonable reply, Ida. Whisp Apr 2013 #52

Monica apparently went to Washington with the intent to sleep with the President VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #157

You should probably just get rid of you little equality heart... Agschmid Apr 2013 #57

Why on earth would I do that? I *support* marriage equality. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #58

Not under than impression... pretty familiar with the symbol. Agschmid Apr 2013 #61

I am *totally* okay with "slut shaming" people who do what these two did. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #62

Yup you win! Agschmid Apr 2013 #63

Okay - Lol. Totally weird. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #65

Not that weird... you said you were *okay* with it. Agschmid Apr 2013 #72

Reasonable on both of our parts (yeah, discussion board!). IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #80

I think the public humiliation is what bothers me. What kind of person does this CTyankee Apr 2013 #100

Narcissist. It really is all about *him* and his happiness. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #111

Bad as it is, being told by your husband he just doesn't want to continue the marriage CTyankee Apr 2013 #127

I actually went and read the emails so I could answer the 'mistress didn't know' IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #131

I don't understand how its technically slut shaming when BOTH of them are being excoriated here VanillaRhapsody Apr 2013 #158

Yes I think so. Agschmid Apr 2013 #194

The two sluts in the OP can legally marry ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #84

Ugh... Hate the word, sorry. N/t Agschmid Apr 2013 #195

She didn't necessarily know he was married. Men do lie about that. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #105

Please don't pretend she didn't know - he was a public figure (she knew his job) IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #108

Maybe not right away....and women do fall in love with married men. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #109

I think she is a Bad Person and so is He. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #110

Jesus probably said it best.... yellowcanine Apr 2013 #113

Wow - so not giving him a job after he stole from the public coffers IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #116

Wow. Straw man much? yellowcanine Apr 2013 #118

No - the discussion is whether THEY deserve to be "slut shamed." IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #122

Wow. Testy much? You keep believing that and have a good day. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #124

Actually, I am. You too. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #126

he's a public figure. of course she knew. HiPointDem Apr 2013 #129

I notice she finally plucked her eyebrows. MoonRiver Apr 2013 #23

What's the male equivalent of 'hussy'? redqueen Apr 2013 #25

Gigolo, himbo, boytoy, player, horndog.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #37

First thing I noticed was that his proper name was used... LanternWaste Apr 2013 #41

Yep. Which pretty much speaks for itself, redqueen Apr 2013 #48

In addition to everything listed in post 37, add "manwhore" snooper2 Apr 2013 #42

You can call men sluts. HappyMe Apr 2013 #43

there is none Whisp Apr 2013 #49

pimp....player Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #68

Stud..nt Paul E Ester Apr 2013 #69

Right. Because no one at DU ever criticizes Mark Sanford. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #77

Expect to get the "THIS IS NOT ABOUT MARK SANFORD" reply.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #81

Geoffrey Chaucer Rex Apr 2013 #142

Is she a private citizen? undeterred Apr 2013 #27

Really could do without the word 'hussy'. Ditto 'slut'. Demit Apr 2013 #30

Actually I use the word 'slut' when it HappyMe Apr 2013 #36

The 'man-whore' bit just proves my point. Demit Apr 2013 #47

Thank you! redqueen Apr 2013 #50

I don't care if it catches on or not. HappyMe Apr 2013 #56

Bless their hearts ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #39

She looks like an ex-girlfriend of mine AngryAmish Apr 2013 #64

The Dems should plant John Edwards in the race just to troll SC Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #71

That's brilliant! HappyMe Apr 2013 #74

+1 uponit7771 Apr 2013 #75

Wow. You are an Evil Genius. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #82

Wrong Carolina SoCalDem Apr 2013 #146

I was thinking Edwards still owned or rented something in SC Blue_Tires Apr 2013 #147

why dont you edit the word "hussy" out of your post RedstDem Apr 2013 #73

Its sad to see how embarrassed his kids are Sunlei Apr 2013 #78

What's With Calling Her Names? otohara Apr 2013 #79

I thought Elizabeth Hussey was great in Romeo and Juliet. Lint Head Apr 2013 #83

I'm hoping you will edit the subject line Marrah_G Apr 2013 #89

HEAVENS TO BETSY!!!!111 OUTRAGE!!!!!!11111 datasuspect Apr 2013 #92

So what? LittleBlue Apr 2013 #94

Tsk! Tsk! Fetch the smelling salts!! Tierra_y_Libertad Apr 2013 #97

With so many newsworthy stories, I'm trashing this one. nt. OldDem2012 Apr 2013 #101

Love happens wilt the stilt Apr 2013 #102

I thinkyou can be "in love" and still not humiliate your wife in the way he did. CTyankee Apr 2013 #145

Isn't going how you thought it would, huh? Dreamer Tatum Apr 2013 #103

Unless you have some evidence of promiscuity "hussy" is out of line. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #104

and its still wrong MFM008 Apr 2013 #140

Am I missing something here? The OP seems to be more negative about HER than HIM. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #185

She looks like him siligut Apr 2013 #106

no you are seeing things wilt the stilt Apr 2013 #117

she is far better looking than he is JI7 Apr 2013 #150

Nothing till he's elected LynnTTT Apr 2013 #107

She seems like an attractive woman. What the H would she want with him?n/t Cleita Apr 2013 #112

Power is a great aphrodisiac. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #120

I can understand the upset with the word hussy dsc Apr 2013 #119

Democrats love to shoot ourselves in the foot. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #123

I don't believe she deserves the name-calling. Blue_In_AK Apr 2013 #125

Not as bad as this: no_hypocrisy Apr 2013 #128

I remember that one - shock of ages when he dumped her for the next one. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #132

None had less class than those two back in the day. Cleita Apr 2013 #133

Republican adultery is holy! Warpy Apr 2013 #134

It's almost a sacrament for them. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #151

Why do they look like they think they just did something cute? bravenak Apr 2013 #137

"hussy"? BainsBane Apr 2013 #138

At some point, and I don't know if he concealed his marriage from her.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #149

the Children would be hurt more by staying with their mom just because it was seen JI7 Apr 2013 #152

But he essentially was going to try to stay with the mother while eating his cake too ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #153

i agree that he should have quietly divorced his wife JI7 Apr 2013 #154

i think he did the right thing in being with the person he loves and wants JI7 Apr 2013 #148

I agree with you that she is somewhat less guilty than he is. CTyankee Apr 2013 #164

i just don't think it matters much at this point, it's not our business JI7 Apr 2013 #169

But Sanford brought the whole thing up by brandishing her as a trophy at the CTyankee Apr 2013 #177

he wasn't brandishing her, she is engaged to him, usually the significant others of JI7 Apr 2013 #180

Politically, I totally agree with you. But I still take exception to his brandishing her. CTyankee Apr 2013 #182

I'll worry about her behavior BainsBane Apr 2013 #175

You think spending public money on his get aways & taking time off while his staff didn't know wher KittyWampus Apr 2013 #171

what if he was doing it with his wife ? JI7 Apr 2013 #174

perhaps you need to edit your post for spelling...just a "word to the wise" here... CTyankee Apr 2013 #179

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #168

Jeez...are you OK? CTyankee Apr 2013 #178

It's the pollen. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #188

They're getting married. At the end of the day, he's no different than Newt, St. Ronnie, etc. Blasphemer Apr 2013 #183

No, if it were just that I would agree. But he publicly humiliated his wife. CTyankee Apr 2013 #184

She looks enough like the ex-wife to be her little sister. MADem Apr 2013 #186

I was wondering the same thing. Jenny had the money. I guess he got it by the special CTyankee Apr 2013 #190

His people are not "poor"--but her people had the powerhouse dough. MADem Apr 2013 #192

I'm jealous of the worthless POS. nt Jack Sprat Apr 2013 #187

She didn't take a vow. rucky Apr 2013 #197

Not exactly. She had her lying, cheating rebuke boyfriend with her. curlyred Apr 2013 #201