I wrote on DU last week that my husband

[mgardener]

84. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and father

I was lucky that I was a nurse when my mother became ill. I Could look up info and could ask good questions.
As a nurse, I know that there is good care and bad care. It makes me so angry that we have not improved cancer care. We have come a long way, but we are losing so many good people too early.
There are lots of cancers that nothing much can be done and I would hope that any person would be given the option to aggressively fight their disease and have the option to say, enough is enough.

Anybody that has been given a diagnosis for any disease, condition or need for surgery should do the research or have somebody do research for them. May local hospitals or medical centers will research information for you. Call the library in your local hospital or regional medical centers. I volunteer at my local hospital doing that.
You need a second opinion. The hardest part is sifting through the information. There is excellent, good, bad and very bad info out there. Please be careful of alternative treatments. Bring somebody with you to all MD appointments to ask the questions and bring written questions. with you.
Find a MD that you trust and keep looking till you do.
Do not be afraid to complain to the Director of Nursing about lack or terrible care. Call the head of the hospital about physicians care.

These are things I have learned along the way, through my mother's illness and death. I have learned so much about my disability and own medical problems.
Have a living will and advance directive. Let your wishes known to your family and family MD. DO this before an illness strikes so those you love and leave behind do not feel guilty. I miss my mother, but I know we honored her wishes and she died in dignity and comfort. My children and husband know my wishes.

I would send that letter to the hospital where your husband was cared for and send it to the MD's. They need to know.