I wrote on DU last week that my husband

[CTyankee]

111. well, we can grieve for each other can't we? I will always wonder how long anyone grieves,

anyway. There is always that space. Of course, my mother was old and was wanting the peace of death. She had lost a grown son. Even tho I had warned her that my brother's doctor said he would not survive another stroke, which he would have if he kept on smoking...

The loss of my sister in law, strangely, was the most difficult for me to take. She and I had had our babies at the same time. We were approx. the same age. But she had made a decision to live away from her kids, with her community where she had lived for many years and enjoyed drinking with them. Liver cirrhosis felled her and then killed her a few months later in 2010. I was inconsolable for months after. I couldn't understand it and I couldn't accept it. At her Memorial service I recited this:

"Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind."