Adam Lanza was bullied while he attended Sandy Hook Elementary, family member says

[daveMN]

43. To all those above who doubt Adam Lanza was bullied

you must be disconnected from reality or something.

Obviously, it doesn't excuse his crime. It should go without saying that nothing anyone may have done to him could justify what he did. If you think the family is trying to deflect blame, fine, but it doesn't really matter now. In fact, I always just assumed he was bullied.

Do you really believe that a quiet, odd kid who apparently had an autism spectrum disorder or something similar was never bullied in school? Kids can be merciless - all it takes is to be a little different; the more different you are, the more difficulty you have with social skills, the bigger target you become. I can attest - it was always a problem for me, especially in elementary school and junior high; and I was merely a shy, nerdy kid. It happens at every school across the country, elementary, middle, high school, for sure. I was still in school not that long ago, I remember the terms that would get thrown around casually, just to get a laugh. "Retard", "homo", "that's gay", "skank", "dicklick", "douchebag" - even "short bus" and "special education" could be used as insults. (Not saying that I think any of those in particular were targeted at Lanza.) Those only scratch the surface. It's not surprising that whether physical or just verbal, it can leave an emotional scar. Whatever bullying he suffered later on probably only reinforced and intensified his memories from when he went to Sandy Hook.

I do understand the desire to assign blame. I know I am supposed to hate Lanza, or at least his mother. Instead I am just sad. When he was born, it was not necessary that he would one day become a monster - his life could have taken many other paths. I don't know enough about him to say whether he was in control of his actions that day or just completely insane. Along the way he may have made free choices that led him down the wrong path, but it seems to me no mentally stable person could walk into a room and just start killing strangers. The poor parenting is indisputable - but I don't think that means Nancy deserved to die any more than any of the other victims.

It's all just sad - so many lives cut short, so many parents who will have to live with their loss every day for the rest of their lives - for no good reason. (That's where the majority of my sympathy goes.) We Americans have a particular need for moral blame, often even placing the condemnation of "character flaw" on harmless natural differences that we are born with. That is a heavy burden to carry for those who are subject to such treatment. Instead of denying that anything other than guns and Adam and Nancy Lanza could have played a role, we all should make a renewed commitment to understanding people's natural differences and teaching our children to do the same.