General Discussion

Xithras

(16,191 posts)

65. Sometimes there's nobody to blame.

Mon Apr 15, 2013, 02:06 PM

Apr 2013

The youngest girl I ever had sex with was 12, and was in 6th grade. I was 13 at the time, a freshly minted middle schooler. There was no love, no desire to make babies, just normal childhood curiosity. She had been one of my best friends for years, and after a conversation that drifted to our mutual curiosity about sex, we started a game of "can I touch it" that turned into full intercourse after a little while.

It was driven more by curiosity than anything, and it only happened once, so I wouldn't say that anyone is "to blame" for it. Kids will be kids, kids can be curious, and sometimes kids do dumb things. That's just part of being a kid. Luckily, no babies resulted from my personal experience, but these things do happen.

Sometimes what's needed isn't blame, but understanding.

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a girl in my nieces school is pregnant. [View all] srican69 Apr 2013 OP

How about none of the above? She could be a victim of sexual abuse. Butterbean Apr 2013 #1

This Dorian Gray Apr 2013 #4

Yeah. A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #6

What if the father is also twelve? Orrex Apr 2013 #28

in my state, yes. by both parties. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #29

Interesting. Didn't know that. Orrex Apr 2013 #30

it's a juvenile crime that obviously depends on circumstances PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #32

Do you know what the penalties might be, though? Orrex Apr 2013 #35

Sorry, I do not know. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #41

I'm not sure that it's useful to place balme in circumstances like these. Laelth Apr 2013 #2

The male involved is completely "guilt" free? Quantess Apr 2013 #3

Yeah, girls are always doing that! Orrex Apr 2013 #26

If you see this as requiring blame, do you also see it as wrong-doing? HereSince1628 Apr 2013 #5

This poll like all others always put the burden on the girl. Where is the boy who southernyankeebelle Apr 2013 #7

This is the typical mind-set, as seen in your entire poll, Quantess Apr 2013 #8

A child that age cannot legally consent to sex so there was a crime committed. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #9

Okay, point taken. Quantess Apr 2013 #10

yeah, and if that's the case, in my state they both could be charged. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #12

Charged with what, being humans? cleanhippie Apr 2013 #45

Children cannot consent to sex. Did you miss that part? PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #46

Yeah, I get that part, but they are children. If they are unable to consent to sex, they are unable cleanhippie Apr 2013 #47

I didn't make the laws and I pointed that out when I learned as well. PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #48

To me, the answer is simple: Preventative education. cleanhippie Apr 2013 #49

Yet they do all the time. Comrade Grumpy Apr 2013 #61

This message was self-deleted by its author HereSince1628 Apr 2013 #13

whoa...who talked about punishment..I am just trying figure out srican69 Apr 2013 #18

then talk to the girl's family, PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #20

No, but this is the way the issue is framed by anti-choicers. Quantess Apr 2013 #27

Your view of the situation is still of a problem that needs to be solved... cbdo2007 Apr 2013 #34

You have a point, there. Quantess Apr 2013 #37

I find the wording of your poll option... 99Forever Apr 2013 #11

+1 In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #16

wouldn't you want to know why a plane crash occurred.. srican69 Apr 2013 #17

The way you wrote it, though, has nothing to do with the circumstances of the insemination. Quantess Apr 2013 #22

Your tone is out of line. 99Forever Apr 2013 #23

But you don't know the whole story so you shouldn't try to guess Marrah_G Apr 2013 #56

+1 LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #66

Society, though not for the reason you wrote. n/t Egalitarian Thug Apr 2013 #14

I blame biology jberryhill Apr 2013 #15

either you forgot the sarcasm thingy..or don't believe in taking responsibility srican69 Apr 2013 #19

I take no responsibility for what happened jberryhill Apr 2013 #58

Damned hormones. BlueStreak Apr 2013 #43

Agree. Why do people here think a 12 year old having a baby is cbdo2007 Apr 2013 #52

True enough. treestar Apr 2013 #55

Change your poll to list "None of the Above" or remove it. It sounds like a self-righteous patricia92243 Apr 2013 #21

Is this 100% true? HappyMe Apr 2013 #24

sounds like ... GeorgeGist Apr 2013 #25

"I know nothing beyond that.." City Lights Apr 2013 #31

Find out who impregnated her and, if an adult, MineralMan Apr 2013 #33

I would not even venture to guess what went wrong Marrah_G Apr 2013 #36

This thread is very disturbing. RevStPatrick Apr 2013 #38

Nothing new. Thread is disturbing unc70 Apr 2013 #39

Other: I am not a mind reader, for which it seems I must apologise muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #40

I blame the maintenance man, he was supposed to take that old shed out back down last year snooper2 Apr 2013 #42

Quite possibly, a child molester. LeftishBrit Apr 2013 #44

"...Whom do we want to blame?" I have a better question. Why do you want to blame? n/t ieoeja Apr 2013 #50

I get it: you are looking to make sure your own daughters don't end up pregnant inappropriately. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #51

Thank you .. this is the kind of response I was looking for ...Insightful and Mature srican69 Apr 2013 #54

(blush) Thank you - but it won't get anywhere near the responses IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #59

No, you weren't -you wanted someone to blame muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #62

I don't think any of the choices applies Sheepshank Apr 2013 #53

It's none of our business really LittleBlue Apr 2013 #57

I'm really tired of the "It's None of Your Business" responses. hamsterjill Apr 2013 #60

So who do you blame? (nt) muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #63

The choices in the poll tend toward 'blame'. HappyMe Apr 2013 #64

"like-minded"?? LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #67

Have I missed anyone? srican69 Apr 2013 #69

Sometimes there's nobody to blame. Xithras Apr 2013 #65

Intelligent design my fucking ass. Zoeisright Apr 2013 #68