Mom Demands School Go Peanut-Free For Allergic Child

[laundry_queen]

214. I'm of 2 minds about this

On one hand, going peanut free is do-able and could save the child's life. While some may say it would be better for the child to be isolated, what he has is essentially a disability, so why should the child suffer for something that is not his fault?

On the other hand...if my child had this type of allergy, I'd probably find a way to keep them at home. Putting the responsibility for keeping your child alive on 400 or so other people, most of which are kids, is ridiculous. I can't tell you how many times I've accidentally sent a granola bar with almonds in it, or I send banana bread or muffins with nuts without thinking (forgive me, I'm in school fulltime and I'm not always thinking about other people's kids when I'm trying to get stuff done when I have an exam first thing in the morning....)Yet I understand that if both parents work, or are unable to give the child a quality education at home or elsewhere it's unfair to ask them to quit to care for their child. On the other hand, many kids with deadly diseases have parents who have to make sacrifices for them to keep them healthy and alive.

And where does it stop? My brother has an anaphylactic reaction to fish (can't even be in the same room as it's cooking) - should the school ban tuna sandwiches as well for those kids? There are plenty of people who are deathly allergic to many things - if we ban them all there will be slim pickings at lunch time, and usually it affects poorer families the most. My brother was taught from a young age to stay away from anyone eating fish, and the only times he's had problems has been at restaurants where they add things like anchovies in sauces or cook fish in the same oil as the fries or something. He had zero problems at school, as long as he was aware of what his friends were eating. This child with the peanut allergy will have to learn to do the same and it's always better to teach them sooner rather than later. Keeping peanuts out of school 100% can lull parents and child into a false sense of security.

My kids' schools are all different - one doesn't ban anything (the high school), one has 'warnings' if a child in the classroom has an allergy (no bans though - totally voluntary) and the other one bans ALL nuts. It isn't easy to find nut-free healthy food without spending tons. I'm a single parent of 4. Peanut butter is a cheap source of protein for my kids. This nut-free stuff has put a serious dent in my food budget. I can't buy the cheapest granola bars, I have to buy meat for sandwiches so my kids get some kind of protein at lunch. Luckily the older ones can now have peanut butter if they wish, so I'm only paying extra for 2 kids right now. I know there are many ways to keep nuts out of lunches, but nuts are, imo, an essential part of my kids' diets and it's filling for them too. As of right now, their lunches are too many carbs. They can't eat much dairy as we're all lactose intolerant, so they don't take cheese strings or anything like that. This total nut ban is affecting my children's nutrition while they are at school. Now, I don't complain about it to the school, because my complaints sound selfish even to me. But it DOES affect my kids. I've heard some say 'why should the child with the allergy be isolated?' but in my youngest dd's kindergarten, if a child accidentally brings something with nuts, they are banished to another room to eat by themselves. HOW on earth is that any better? Not only that, but it seems the parents of kids with the allergy don't get how difficult switching to nut free for school is if you aren't generally nut-free. And there's NEVER any thanks from those parents. One of my oldest dd's best friends is a 'little person' (that's what she likes to be called). She has a lot of skeletal problems and is sometimes in a wheelchair. The school had to make modifications just for her, including ramps, smaller steps in the staircases, and so on and people volunteered to build those things. Her parents took out an ad in the local paper (it was a very small town) to thank the other parents and the school for helping out their daughter. I thought that was nice that they recognized that others were helping their daughter. I've never heard that from a parent of a child with a severe nut allergy. Just a quick group email to the class, "Thanks for staying peanut free this year, Junior is severely allergic to peanuts and we'd like to thank all of you for making an effort to help keep Junior healthy and safe this year." Is that too much to ask?

So I'm torn about this. I don't think suing is the answer, obviously, and some of the comments said are horrendous and those people should be outed. Generally, people are selfish (me included) so it's no surprise there's some backlash but I do think that going nut free isn't as 'simple' as some think, and it does affect some other families negatively.

God, I just spent way too much time on this.