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gollygee

(22,336 posts)

46. That doesn't mean it's good for girls to make them feel shameful in order to keep them virgins

Sun Apr 28, 2013, 06:43 PM

Apr 2013

I'd rather my kids have sex as teenagers than develop unhealthy feelings about their sexuality. I think that would be a greater regret.

If girls want to wait to have sex, great. They absolutely should wait until they are comfortable, and should feel no pressure to have sex early. But we can't treat virginity like the most important part of teenage girls. We can't treat sexually active teenage girls like they're damaged goods, or create an environment that leads to that impression. That is absolutely harmful to girls and women.

This cult of virginity makes keeping girls "pure" too big of an issue. It's an unhealthy obsession.

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A Real-Life Window Into How Virginity Obsession Hurts Teen Girls [View all] xchrom Apr 2013 OP

and, as with all religious sexual purity nutbaggery, the onus is put on the women. KG Apr 2013 #1

Riiight; it's VIRGINITY that harms teen girls. Not "Girls Gone Wild", etc. WinkyDink Apr 2013 #2

If that's sarcasm-- YarnAddict Apr 2013 #8

There's a difference between just being a virgin and the virginity cult LadyHawkAZ Apr 2013 #21

Teach them correct principles, then let them govern themselves marshall Apr 2013 #52

"Girls Gone Wild" is actually a byproduct of our culture's virgin / whore dichotomy Scootaloo Apr 2013 #32

Women are not like cars--"new" or "used." A woman's value does not depreciate tblue37 Apr 2013 #40

Sigh! In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #3

What was she dressing up as? A Stepford Wife? muriel_volestrangler Apr 2013 #4

i thought Bo-Peep or Little Miss Tuffet -- but what do i know? nt xchrom Apr 2013 #5

BINGO! I had that EXACT scene in mind when I saw that. CurtEastPoint Apr 2013 #6

I thought it was Ali McGraw... TeeYiYi Apr 2013 #18

Not having seen the show, I assumed that godawful outfit is her regular clothes. winter is coming Apr 2013 #44

If the most important thing you bring to your marriage is your hymen, what happens when it's gone? Brickbat Apr 2013 #7

Sexuality YarnAddict Apr 2013 #9

None of which justifies treating teenagers like they are idiots, going into crying fits when they Brickbat Apr 2013 #10

It's reality TV YarnAddict Apr 2013 #12

If a man were actually honest instead of spouting what society demands of him, seabeyond Apr 2013 #14

Of course YarnAddict Apr 2013 #22

thats how society views sexuality? galileoreloaded Apr 2013 #29

or, the longer they wait the less chance they have to figure out what they actually enjoy. bettyellen Apr 2013 #17

Wait--what?? YarnAddict Apr 2013 #23

not everyone has regrets, or shares your moral code, LOL. bettyellen Apr 2013 #25

No kidding and thank goodness for that! Warpy Apr 2013 #27

yep, cannot support this morally superior "saving it" bullshit one iota. bettyellen Apr 2013 #30

Yes, because the morning after the wedding night Warpy Apr 2013 #36

No man *could* back then, but now, with DNA testing, he *can* be sure--unless tblue37 Apr 2013 #41

I stand by what I said: YarnAddict Apr 2013 #35

I would argue that, this is not because they are teenagers ... surrealAmerican Apr 2013 #43

And the older you are, YarnAddict Apr 2013 #47

My views aren't about a "moral code" YarnAddict Apr 2013 #38

That doesn't mean it's good for girls to make them feel shameful in order to keep them virgins gollygee Apr 2013 #46

Of course, no one should make them feel shamed YarnAddict Apr 2013 #48

Complete agreement with you. love_katz Apr 2013 #31

More often than not-- YarnAddict Apr 2013 #37

Maybe if we gave less attention to reality shows YarnAddict Apr 2013 #11

+1000000000000 A Little Weird Apr 2013 #15

They've pretty much taken over pay TV, too Warpy Apr 2013 #28

I wonder what affect this obsession on girls who were sexually abused or raped Nikia Apr 2013 #13

They have an answer for that too jmowreader Apr 2013 #20

Exactly how close to "real life" is a typical reality show? hedgehog Apr 2013 #16

Not very. Blue_In_AK Apr 2013 #24

Reality shows have writers, who plot out a story arc and give the actors--who are not pros, tblue37 Apr 2013 #42

Why is "Nikita" calling himself that? His real name was Nelson Scott Simpson . . . HughBeaumont Apr 2013 #19

I can't get over 'former professional wrestler turned preacher'! House of Roberts Apr 2013 #26

Did you happen to see the movie _The Prestige_? The protagonist tblue37 Apr 2013 #45

My mom used to tell my sister and I this quote... liberalmuse Apr 2013 #33

yikes. cali Apr 2013 #34

The more you stress "sex is evil", the more teens are going to want it. winter is coming Apr 2013 #39

Ann Landers preached that line, and she was Jewish. Manifestor_of_Light Apr 2013 #49

Reality shows are fake. GeorgeGist Apr 2013 #50

I've wondered what happened to Nikita Koloff. Captain Stern Apr 2013 #51