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dogknob

(2,431 posts)

54. Guns are a symptom of a larger problem in the OP

Mon Apr 29, 2013, 12:06 AM

Apr 2013

I had an abusive gun nut (and alcoholic) father. The man was a racist; a conservative, despite being snuffed out of his career by younger conservatives; and a homophobe.

He pulled strings so I could go to high school in another district with more white kids... and the joke was on him when I began dating Jewish girls.

When my mother finally left him in 1994, I hadn't had much contact with him. He came over to my house and we spent a few hours together... "no I don't know where she's [my mom] staying..."

Then he pulled out a 9mm pistol and shot himself in the head in my living room.

He had been marginalized. His beliefs were irrelevant. He needed to be in power (and fearsome [= respect in his mind]) one last time.

I know why the shooters are shooting. I know why they do it. I've seen it and lived.

We're just gonna have more and more of this as more and more men begin to feel marginalized and irrelevant.

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What it was like growing up with a "gun nut" as a father [View all] Robyn66 Apr 2013 OP

I'm very sorry that was your experience growing up. MineralMan Apr 2013 #1

I'm sorry to hear that your father terrified you like that. aikoaiko Apr 2013 #2

Thanks for sharing your painful experiences, Robyn. femmocrat Apr 2013 #3

Having a bad father is the worst, Robyn. I had two, one a gun nut and pervert, the other just Mnemosyne Apr 2013 #4

I am sorry your father treated you so badly. Jenoch Apr 2013 #5

Please pay attention. gussmith Apr 2013 #22

Did you read the headline she wrote Jenoch Apr 2013 #28

Did you read more than the headline? n/t cui bono Apr 2013 #33

Yes. Jenoch Apr 2013 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #58

Similar experience growing up Freddie Apr 2013 #6

Fun isnt it? Robyn66 Apr 2013 #19

That is part of the whole power thing PatSeg Apr 2013 #23

I feel your pain; I grew up in the 50s and 60s and you sure didn't talk about that raccoon Apr 2013 #32

+1 freshwest Apr 2013 #36

Too many people just weren't willing to come to terms with that back then. AverageJoe90 Apr 2013 #47

Society was in a lot of denial back then about abuse within the family. The women's movement raccoon Apr 2013 #60

I have an ex that was like that OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #61

Booze + guns = bad situation. Lizzie Poppet Apr 2013 #7

The abuse you suffered was unconscionable. appal_jack Apr 2013 #8

The people I think are gun nuts, Robyn66 Apr 2013 #12

Sounds like neither of us thinks the other is a nut. appal_jack Apr 2013 #35

thanks! Robyn66 Apr 2013 #41

YOU KNOW IT, ROBYN Skittles Apr 2013 #52

You could be describing my mother's father, including being a cop. It scarred her badly. nolabear Apr 2013 #9

There was no safety for someone like me Robyn66 Apr 2013 #18

That's the lack of help and the stigma I was addressing. nolabear Apr 2013 #38

Thank you Robyn66 Apr 2013 #42

Thanks for the post. timdog44 Apr 2013 #10

Thank you! Robyn66 Apr 2013 #83

Sad... His defining characteristic is not gun owner... Pelican Apr 2013 #11

Thank you for sharing. liberalmuse Apr 2013 #13

k&r... spanone Apr 2013 #14

Thank you for telling your story. I am so sorry you had a father like that. Maraya1969 Apr 2013 #15

+1 freshwest Apr 2013 #37

What a horrible way to grow up. zeemike Apr 2013 #16

And I am not anti-gun at all Robyn66 Apr 2013 #21

VERY well said... "they are tools not objects that grant power". PeaceNikki Apr 2013 #40

I wrote a message OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #62

I heaven05 Apr 2013 #17

Wow. Faygo Kid Apr 2013 #20

I feel you. No guns in my house, growing up, but the sickness was there---so many similarities-- BlancheSplanchnik Apr 2013 #24

I will explain :) Robyn66 Apr 2013 #43

Well no matter who or what brought him OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #63

God's Plan?! Oakenshield Apr 2013 #65

Get a grip OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #75

well said . . . DrDan Apr 2013 #76

Thank you OwnedByCats Apr 2013 #80

I guess most times I assume gun crazy parents raise gun crazy children AndyA Apr 2013 #25

Good question about my brothers Robyn66 Apr 2013 #30

K&R 99Forever Apr 2013 #26

Background checks arent enough, we need drug and alchohol testing and license renewals.... CarrieLynne Apr 2013 #27

We need to imprison and/or treat dangerous maniacs. Taitertots Apr 2013 #29

it never occurred to me that what he was doing was breaking the law, since we were at home... CarrieLynne Apr 2013 #44

First step in gun ownership recovery is admit to being Emotionally Unstable. itsrobert Apr 2013 #31

Thanks for sharing, your defination is the same as mine. When someone becomes a different Thinkingabout Apr 2013 #39

The problem with your father isn't guns rl6214 Apr 2013 #45

Your father was not a responsible gun owner; he was a bad person that owned guns. badtoworse Apr 2013 #46

I doubt you would say "the way he chose to do it is of secondary importance" Pale Blue Dot Apr 2013 #50

You're right. A razor at her throat would have been much better. badtoworse Apr 2013 #56

I had a bit of a dysfunctional family growing up..... AverageJoe90 Apr 2013 #48

What a monster! olivelove Apr 2013 #49

Welcome to DU my friend! hrmjustin Apr 2013 #71

Welcome to DU!! Robyn66 Apr 2013 #73

This message was self-deleted by its author rightsideout Apr 2013 #51

How much of this is really about guns? flvegan Apr 2013 #53

Guns are a symptom of a larger problem in the OP dogknob Apr 2013 #54

Boy that is pretty close to my father! Robyn66 Apr 2013 #57

Having a gun pointed in your face is not about guns? treestar Apr 2013 #67

I guess the gun jumped up and pointed itself at her? TampaAnimusVortex Apr 2013 #68

But the father used guns, which are specifically scary treestar Apr 2013 #69

So are pipi_k Apr 2013 #72

The guy had guns around the house treestar Apr 2013 #74

So would that apply to swords and maces? TampaAnimusVortex Apr 2013 #82

Maybe, but those things all require some effort, too treestar Apr 2013 #84

Why are people not getting what I am saying Robyn66 May 2013 #85

It is crazy treestar May 2013 #86

The only answer for many gun nuts... nikto Apr 2013 #55

Thank you for sharing this lunatica Apr 2013 #59

He would have been as bad without the guns. My father wasn't to the degree yours was.... marble falls Apr 2013 #64

Except for the gun pipi_k Apr 2013 #66

Thanks Ms. Robyn FairWinds Apr 2013 #70

You hit that one on the head Robyn66 Apr 2013 #79

What a horrible experience liberal N proud Apr 2013 #77

I would hate to tell you my memories Robyn66 Apr 2013 #78

How horrible! I am so sorry for your experience. smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #81

Seems like every day Robyn66 May 2013 #87