In case people wonder why AZ has a water problem...

[Safetykitten]

93. Ah, the monthly Phoenix is fucked report.

Well THAT seals it. Time to flee this place. Tucson, you too, all of you, get the fuck out. Oh, and Flagstaff, you are on the dreaded doomed city list. What could we do in the meantime, before the place is filled with sand again? Well, lets try this.

All people that live "back East", you better keep the fuck out of here, and that means no coming here in the winter and hanging by the pool, unless you are part of a crack team of futurists that know what the score is, and are giving out warnings with the brunches by the pool.

Golfers, you need to keep the fuck out of here too. No coming out here and playing that game (which I agree is a sickening meld of arrogance, selfishness, and stupidity that is unmatched), and sipping drinks and talking about moving here.

Californians, you need to stay away also. As much as Phoenicians love your money, your house flipping, equity refugeeing, because I buy a Prius I am not so craven, you all screw this place up, and it is not the lawns you buy by the roll at Home Depot to turf up your latest flip that is the worst.

Vortex holers. You think that mind control gets the water out of your tap and shower magically before you go on that animal spirit/French wine tasting excursion in Sedona? Well it don't. So next time you are here, bring your own water.

Lettuce eaters. Where do you think THAT comes from, along with other tasty vegetable treats? Not the big bunny.

So excuse me if I ignore the water thing here in Phoenix and in Arizona in general. The one thing that Arizona does do in this monumentally fucked up state is control the water. They do that quite well, thank you very much. People see swimming pools. People see plants along the freeways and roads. Strange, California has a water issue too, but I do not see the red flag waving in their face. Have any of the people here describing our impending doom actually see how they water the plants on their freeways? Impact sprinkler heads. Lots of them. No drip irrigation. That's just for starters.

The poster found probably one of the only large expanses of lawn left at an ASU facility, as ASU main is content to fill every inch of space with a building and a xeriscape landscape. ASU west has a lawn! OMG! You people don't deserve things like that in Arizona. So thank you for the concern, thank you for all your impending doom stories that are not applicable to anyone else in the nation. You know, New Jersey rebuilding on barrier islands, Maryland developing every last inch of space, Florida, well...is Florida, Texas and their blow up towns pastime, the Midwest and their wind moveable abodes, and the neverending spring floods and "let's rebuild THAT!

So see you all at the Hyatt Scottsdale this winter, as you are slumming here, and we will pour you a big glass of sand. Because we care.