General Discussion

bravenak

(34,648 posts)

21. Whoa!

Fri May 10, 2013, 08:41 AM

May 2013

No, please don't say things like this to a victim of abuse.
You are giving the abusers an easy excuse.
Stop it.
Not all people can afford to just leave. Really. They have no money. Have been kept on a tight leash physically, and financially.
Of course she is not the reason he did what he did!
Why the heck would that thought even come into your head?
That's like saying she made him do it.

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For those who insist on bringing up past legal troubles of people like Charles Ramsey or Neil Heslin [View all] Tommy_Carcetti May 2013 OP

There's lots of casters here. hobbit709 May 2013 #1

Ramsay did a good thing. that doesn't excuse the fear and misery he inflicted on his family cali May 2013 #2

This message was self-deleted by its author madokie May 2013 #4

Wow demmiblue May 2013 #5

Seriously Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #6

holy fuck! boston bean May 2013 #7

You need to delete this post. randome May 2013 #8

why? zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #12

Because it unfairly blames a victim of domestic abuse. randome May 2013 #16

No it goes against the meme the poster and now you seem to be pushing. boston bean May 2013 #20

who deserves to be beaten? zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #27

The poster said to an abused woman boston bean May 2013 #29

I simply made a statement to maybe let someone see that spousal abuse sometimes is a two way madokie May 2013 #34

I read what you wrote. boston bean May 2013 #42

No, you say maybe she was the reason...... bravenak May 2013 #46

My apologies madokie May 2013 #50

so you think I deserved it. cali May 2013 #59

no, here's what you said CreekDog May 2013 #64

So you're saying the majority of abusers are women, but female victims had bullwinkle428 May 2013 #9

That's a popular MRA talking point, actually. redqueen May 2013 #10

so you are blaming all men zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #18

No, blaming men who abuse and the men who make excuses for the abuser. boston bean May 2013 #22

WTF? How the hell did you get that from my post? redqueen May 2013 #24

oh so what you are saying is zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #28

No saying that someone who defends someone who says the abused boston bean May 2013 #32

... redqueen May 2013 #36

LOL. bravenak May 2013 #41

where does it say anything close to that? zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #13

Here: redqueen May 2013 #30

Bullshit madokie May 2013 #48

No. It's nothing "du jour", it's just another sad example of victim blaming. redqueen May 2013 #49

those were your words and the other words blamed Cali for what happened to her CreekDog May 2013 #65

Re-read his post. Some of us have finely tuned bullshit detectors, bullwinkle428 May 2013 #63

Read what i wrote madokie May 2013 #35

What a nauseating post leftynyc May 2013 #15

I'm not blaming the victim I'm simply pointing out that this sometimes is a two way street madokie May 2013 #37

you insinuated that I deserved it. You have no fucking clue cali May 2013 #62

you did blame: "Could you have been a part of the reason that you're ex as he did?" CreekDog May 2013 #66

you are not telling the truth about what you said to me. PERIOD. cali May 2013 #68

What he wrote to you was disgusting. boston bean May 2013 #69

Whoa! bravenak May 2013 #21

I'm going to go out on a limb here... ljm2002 May 2013 #23

fuck off to you madokie May 2013 #40

Oh I read what you wrote... ljm2002 May 2013 #53

"Maybe you had it coming", in other words. Nye Bevan May 2013 #43

simply pointing out that sometimes this is a two way street madokie May 2013 #45

Sometimes it is. Most times it isn't. bravenak May 2013 #51

I deleted it madokie May 2013 #52

I'm sorry for riding you so hard. bravenak May 2013 #56

Kudos for staying harmonious on this thread! randome May 2013 #58

Most dishusting post I've read so far on DU. Democracyinkind May 2013 #44

Did you read all of what I wrote? madokie May 2013 #47

I'ven read it all... Democracyinkind May 2013 #57

I'm sorry for what you have experienced. bravenak May 2013 #11

Of course the two incidences can be separated out in ones mind. boston bean May 2013 #17

Of course they can. bravenak May 2013 #26

You can say the good outweighs the bad, you won't get an argument from me. boston bean May 2013 #31

Exactly! bravenak May 2013 #38

People change. The power of forgiveness is incredible. Bake May 2013 #60

Much of the bringing up of past troubles has to do with the over-the-top reaction to Ramsay. randome May 2013 #3

so you figure it's your "job" zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #14

I'm not condemning anyone. randome May 2013 #19

you're grumbling and mumbling zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #25

No, they are objecting to an obscene idea and thought boston bean May 2013 #33

wha? BlueToTheBone May 2013 #39

Man this thread went off the tracks quick snooper2 May 2013 #54

No kidding! Some kind of perfect storm, I guess. randome May 2013 #55

Good people sometimes do bad things. Bake May 2013 #61

Strange -- I only see three responses Blecht May 2013 #67