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FrodosPet

(5,169 posts)

142. I wish I was being sarcastic

Sun May 12, 2013, 08:54 PM

May 2013

Between spending time reading radical feminist sites like "Rage Against The Manchine" and "I Blame The Patriarchy", and my former roommate telling me that lusting after an unwilling woman, or looking at sexy pictures, was rape just as much as physically attacking her, and seeing women avoiding me in fear, I have realized that no matter what, no matter how gentle of a soul I am, or strive to be, that I am a monster because I have a penis.

I am not saying every woman sees me that way. But time and time again, it has been pointed out here and other places the mere fact of my existence as a fat scruffy middle aged man is a threat to at least some women - even if only to their emotional well being. I have no desire to ever force myself on a woman, but I have come to realize the mere act of saying hello can be considered a threat.

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Highlight:

— Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. [View all] kpete May 2013 OP

LOL. bemildred May 2013 #1

A serious graphic look at the issue ("passes", harassment) from another angle: Bernardo de La Paz May 2013 #133

I look at it a simpler way: bemildred May 2013 #134

+10.000 smirkymonkey May 2013 #2

and one... nt uriel1972 May 2013 #117

have always believed that KT2000 May 2013 #3

I said this to my Dad once when he was ranting about SharonAnn May 2013 #31

Very true. LuvNewcastle May 2013 #4

Profound. You've hit the nail on the head. Rozlee May 2013 #125

Home Truths, Ma'am The Magistrate May 2013 #5

K&R! sheshe2 May 2013 #6

This is it, EXACTLY!! annabanana May 2013 #7

Rarely is anything stated as perfectly as this! n/t Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #8

Yep cliffordu May 2013 #9

How many times must this be explained redqueen May 2013 #10

Exactly! FrodosPet May 2013 #68

Dude, I hope you are just being sarcastic dawg May 2013 #138

I wish I was being sarcastic FrodosPet May 2013 #142

Yeah, that's exactly what it says. Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #139

K&R! TeamPooka May 2013 #11

Just perfect. n/t 2theleft May 2013 #12

That is just part of the equation Rain Mcloud May 2013 #13

Question matt819 May 2013 #14

"Homohatred" Behind the Aegis May 2013 #16

I think they do fear them, only because they know the secret. nolabear May 2013 #21

homomisia. plantwomyn May 2013 #127

Overly simplistic, and not all that useful. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #15

But they hate lesbians too, so I'm not sure that's the full explanation. Nye Bevan May 2013 #17

That's interesting, because in my experience, I've observed that one of the most common men's Zorra May 2013 #35

But it's often two women with one guy rather than strictly two women mythology May 2013 #44

Most every woman can rapidly and easily orchestrate a casual sexual encounter with a man 24/7, Zorra May 2013 #137

Not to the same extent, if at all. And if they do, it's because those women aren't Honeycombe8 May 2013 #51

But lesbians don't scare them n/t eridani May 2013 #53

Oh, no: Straight men LOVE lesbians. That's the double standard. lindysalsagal May 2013 #64

I remember them referring to "Ellen Degenerate" when she came out (nt) Nye Bevan May 2013 #121

Indeed. But, from my POV, it is only Zorra May 2013 #136

I stand corrected. n/t. lindysalsagal May 2013 #144

A gender specific defintion of a general word The2ndWheel May 2013 #18

Wish I thought of that. marble falls May 2013 #19

That is a recurrent joke. dipsydoodle May 2013 #20

K&R Jamastiene May 2013 #22

This message was self-deleted by its author YoungDemCA May 2013 #23

Wait a minute. lumberjack_jeff May 2013 #30

This article IS homophobia, starting with its title, and including its "point". Occulus May 2013 #24

It doesn't seem to do much to explain female homophobes Major Nikon May 2013 #26

And repeatedly perpetuates gay male stereotypes from the POV of HETEROSEXUALS Occulus May 2013 #27

To whom was he attempting to make a point? plantwomyn May 2013 #126

+1. HiPointDem May 2013 #28

It bothers me too. lumberjack_jeff May 2013 #29

That's one reason, yes. Occulus May 2013 #32

Thank you. I better understand where you're coming from. n/t lumberjack_jeff May 2013 #33

Well said. The teacher in the article is a bigot pushing vicious myths. The teacher is also someone Bluenorthwest May 2013 #34

Thank you, I very much agree. nt. sibelian May 2013 #36

I knew something wasn't quite right about the OP. You made it clear, thank you. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #38

+1,000 alcibiades_mystery May 2013 #39

As a reaction to offal Half-Century Man May 2013 #46

Great post! DemocratsForProgress May 2013 #65

Thank you so much for contributing to the thread. nt RedCappedBandit May 2013 #105

A very good post---please consider a GD thread? nt msanthrope May 2013 #122

Well said and 100% correct. n/t cherokeeprogressive May 2013 #42

I'm asking you to post it for the education of DU. freshwest May 2013 #109

The author, Andrew Sullivan, is a gay man. A thoughtful homosexual man who writes. nt Bernardo de La Paz May 2013 #124

I have been aware of him for a very long time. Occulus May 2013 #131

Then apply your own reasoning: Bernardo de La Paz May 2013 #132

Agreed. This is so laden with politics LittleBlue May 2013 #130

K & R !!! WillyT May 2013 #25

I'm a hetero man who has been hit on by Gay men many, many times. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #37

Same here, some of them are my friends. Rex May 2013 #40

I think there are a whole host of presuppositions in this article that are- at best- just wrong Warren DeMontague May 2013 #41

You make a good point. Are all come-ons threatening? Of course not, nor should they be. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #43

Occulus did a very good job of laying out the problems from a Gay Male perspective upthread. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #45

Gay perspective? Half-Century Man May 2013 #47

I'm not sure where you're getting "we" from. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #48

As in general humanity Half-Century Man May 2013 #50

Andrew Sullivan is also gay BainsBane May 2013 #54

That's probably why he said "A Gay Perspective", not "The". nt Bonobo May 2013 #55

Indeed, on both counts. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #56

How is that even relevant? Behind the Aegis May 2013 #66

It's relevant because it's on his blog BainsBane May 2013 #67

It isn't because Occulus was reacting to the blurb as a gay man. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #70

Why is it homophobic swill? BainsBane May 2013 #71

What the fuck is a "straight" shirt?! Behind the Aegis May 2013 #74

I have long wondered why some things are called phobias BainsBane May 2013 #76

The lanuguage is sometimes created for the need. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #81

"Unsolicited advice" BainsBane May 2013 #82

So answering your post is badgering? How convenient. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #83

expecting me to defend another person's writing BainsBane May 2013 #92

I didn't expect you to defend his writing. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #94

Read the posts above BainsBane May 2013 #97

I am not Occulus. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #99

as for "jumping in this thread" BainsBane May 2013 #100

Word salad. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #101

You wrote BainsBane May 2013 #103

No more games. It takes two to play and this has become quite tedious. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #104

that you consider it is a game is clearly the problem BainsBane May 2013 #113

This message was self-deleted by its author Behind the Aegis May 2013 #115

he's also an asshole warmonger. so you could say this is the asshole warmonger gay persons HiPointDem May 2013 #116

I was hit on Berlin Expat May 2013 #118

I second that. Big deal. bemildred May 2013 #141

There's a problem with this arguement. Locut0s May 2013 #49

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee" = "shooting someone" Bonobo May 2013 #52

Did you really just say that? nomorenomore08 May 2013 #57

Au contraire Bonobo May 2013 #58

But they're not talking about "trying to meet someone" or "a polite self-introduction." nomorenomore08 May 2013 #59

Yes, it would be. Bonobo May 2013 #60

If you're that concerned, you should read the second blog post ("How to Hit on Women"). nomorenomore08 May 2013 #61

I'm not "worried". Bonobo May 2013 #62

Okay, fair enough. Your reaction just seemed like a bit much, is all. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #77

Why fucking worry about it? BainsBane May 2013 #69

It has nothing to do with me. Bonobo May 2013 #72

the problem is BainsBane May 2013 #75

No, that is your projection. Bonobo May 2013 #78

I'm sure I am projecting BainsBane May 2013 #79

Ridiculous mischaracterization R US. Bonobo May 2013 #80

What I want to know is, why do some read "some men are rapists" as "*all* men are rapists"? nomorenomore08 May 2013 #85

I don't. nt Bonobo May 2013 #86

interesting question BainsBane May 2013 #89

Ah! This is the point in the show where you imply Bonobo May 2013 #90

reply #68 includes all straight men in this group sigmasix May 2013 #120

Post #68 is a sarcastic response to another post. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #140

Everyone "projects" in some way. Seems to be an inherent feature of the human psyche. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #84

I do not dispute those facts. Bonobo May 2013 #88

All right. I guess I'll have to take your word for it. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #91

If you are really interested... Bonobo May 2013 #93

First of all, that post is rather vague. Second, it doesn't refer expressly to you. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #107

Plausible deniability. Bonobo May 2013 #108

Okay. You've made your point. I still think you're overreacting. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #110

wtf is your problem Whisp May 2013 #111

BB is the one the came and basically said to me: Bonobo May 2013 #112

In any case, what's a little irritation compared to Bonobo May 2013 #114

I find this post out-of-line and sexist. Would you tolerate your marital status msanthrope May 2013 #123

Thank you. Incredibly myopic and self-centered view of sexism on display. nt Bonobo May 2013 #129

I never thought about it that way before. lindysalsagal May 2013 #63

. blkmusclmachine May 2013 #73

The one point I will concede, is that highly homophobic men do tend to treat women poorly. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #87

That isn't really surprising. Behind the Aegis May 2013 #95

Very true. Some manage to deal reasonably well with human variation, others don't. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #96

Amen to that! Behind the Aegis May 2013 #98

Some people Berlin Expat May 2013 #119

This is funny and scary at the same time. bravenak May 2013 #102

Perceptive, but limited. caseymoz May 2013 #106

No, I think it is the fear that other men LittleBlue May 2013 #128

So it's wrong to talk to someone that you might be sexually interested in? Hippo_Tron May 2013 #135

"As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen ..." Arugula Latte May 2013 #143

Egregious!!! TW1780 Aug 2015 #145

Welcome to DU. I think you missed the point of that article. It was not saying rape=homosexality, bu uppityperson Aug 2015 #146