Man on death row in 'Boys Don't Cry' case is engaged to be married

[Warpy]

3. Best husbands in the world are lifers

Think about it: you always know where he is, he never leaves you worrying when he comes home late, you don't have to put up with his drinking or temper tantrums, there is no way he can ever hit you, there are no nubs in the sink, the loo seat is always down, you don't have to worry about other women, he doesn't cut his fingernails in bed, it doesn't matter if he snores like a jetliner and hogs the covers and you never have to cook him anything or pull his filthy underwear out from under the bed to wash it.

You get all the benefits and none of the aggravation, showing pictures (mug shots) of your wonderful husband while never really having to deal with him beyond writing sappy letters and turning up on visitor's day to talk to him through bulletproof glass. You don't even have to look your best like a mistress does. Just put in minimal effort when you see him and you'll always be gorgeous.

The only anxiety would be around do gooders who'd want to parole them someday. Then you'd be desperately clawing for an annulment on the basis of non consummation and looking for another lifer.

(and no, this homophobic jerk shouldn't be let out unless it's to a nursing home)