I was involved in a discussion a few nights ago that shocked and silenced me.

[mick063]

16. I admit that I have at "terrible two" or around that age.

More like a single swat on the butt and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I did. It primarily came when her direct safety was involved and more than anything, I was frightened at the thought of her getting seriously hurt.

My daughter may have no recollection of it. I have not asked her. She is a young teen now.

Like all kids, she can have her faults, but I really have no reason to complain. A rule follower, does well in school, eager to please, and looks for approval.

I seldom have to discipline her and merely raising my voice can bring her to tears. I am careful to do so only when I feel necessary. I refrain from verbal abuse, but my wife can seem to "nag" my daughter more often than I like.

I am concerned about confidence issues with her. I spend more time trying to build her self esteem than anything. One thing I have learned is that her peers can be very cruel. More so than I recall when growing up.

One thing I constantly stress is that this portion of her life is a very fleeting moment when taken in the context of her entire life. Many of the people she must associate with will never be seen again in about five years. What happens right now, with respect to her peers, isn't nearly as important as she thinks it is.

I recall that my "step" aunt was extremely cruel to my cousins when they were growing up. It seemed that my Grandfather was the only family member that openly, consistently complained about it. Of course he was a hero in the eyes of my cousins. Truthfully, they all turned out to be a little dysfunctional as adults. Not criminal, but lived seriously hard lives. I do not embrace or associate with my aunt to this day and it has caused some rifts with my own folks because of it. Perhaps it was from watching her that I am influenced on how much harm excessive "discipline" can do to a child.