General Discussion

Cleita

(75,480 posts)

25. I never had my own kids, but from my own experience as a kid and

Fri May 17, 2013, 02:19 AM

May 2013

having parents who spanked, it didn't make me behave better. I knew when I was bad that I would eventually be spanked because of their frustration. It would be over with and I could go back to misbehaving until the next spanking. What did work with me was taking away a privilege or a favorite toy or activity for a period of time. THAT got my attention. Now, I'm sure that different kids react differently to various types of discipline, but I was almost ten before my parents discovered the magic thing that got me to behave. I was a very bratty kid, I'm afraid. My apology to my parents, wherever they are, for what they had to put up with.

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I was involved in a discussion a few nights ago that shocked and silenced me. [View all] applegrove May 2013 OP

I think too many people have way too many definitions of spanking. napi21 May 2013 #1

^ this. I agree wholeheartedly. LiberalAndProud May 2013 #2

Everyone at the table said spanking was okay. I think it is wrong. But then I don't have kids. applegrove May 2013 #7

now see, i dont have kids either... smackd May 2013 #12

I came from a divorced home -- one parent spanked, the other did not. FourScore May 2013 #19

But it is very possible to make the line clear without spanking. pnwmom May 2013 #35

I never felt "hit". n/t FourScore May 2013 #40

I always preferred the spanking too. onpatrol98 May 2013 #77

While I do not believe in the wholesale usage of avebury May 2013 #57

Spanking only serves a purpose when you're dealing with toddlers? grntuscarora May 2013 #9

I disagree. You're not trying to get the child to understand napi21 May 2013 #92

my grandmother used to make zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #15

"Smacked a diapered bottom." Le Taz Hot May 2013 #46

So YOU suggest banging a couple of pans together? Yea. napi21 May 2013 #93

Are you suggesting loud noises Le Taz Hot May 2013 #95

No. But it sounded like YOU were. napi21 May 2013 #96

Yep Little Star May 2013 #54

My father would say the same abelenkpe May 2013 #59

You're talking about something far beyond "spanking". napi21 May 2013 #94

Yeah, you're correct abelenkpe May 2013 #97

It depends on the definition. Laid across a parents lap and hit with a ruler for not finishing uppityperson May 2013 #3

Right you are. If it is a matter of life and death of course. Not having children of my own applegrove May 2013 #5

I have 4 kids laundry_queen May 2013 #31

+100,000 vanlassie May 2013 #38

Thank goddess for parents like you! Le Taz Hot May 2013 #47

Thank you. PotatoChip May 2013 #68

You Rock, And Have Eloquently Stated My Position As Well Skraxx May 2013 #71

+/\/\+ G_j May 2013 #76

probably needs to be a couple more choices for people who don't have kids snooper2 May 2013 #4

should be done more often newmember May 2013 #6

Yep, that option wasn't there customerserviceguy May 2013 #41

Disagree. The message is, might makes right stanwyck May 2013 #83

Didn't hurt you none now, did it? Ikonoklast May 2013 #109

I force my kids to spank each other. nt ZombieHorde May 2013 #8

I used to swat their clothed bottoms if they had really misbehaved. CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #10

There are alternatives to hitting that also "work." pnwmom May 2013 #36

I spanked my son once mokawanis May 2013 #11

"Discipline" is derived from "disciple" which means "to learn" True Earthling May 2013 #13

As a side note... Pelican May 2013 #24

As another side note, Le Taz Hot May 2013 #48

Yes yes... Pelican May 2013 #63

I'd like a link to that BklnDem75 May 2013 #65

It gets their attention tularetom May 2013 #14

If you were close enough to hit them, you were close enough to keep them from running in the street Luminous Animal May 2013 #86

I admit that I have at "terrible two" or around that age. mick063 May 2013 #16

It depends on the child LeftInTX May 2013 #17

My mom was master of the nerve pinch... Pelican May 2013 #32

Deliberately inflict physical pain on children? What a wonderful concept. Nye Bevan May 2013 #18

We are all animals newmember May 2013 #22

^^this^^ Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #66

I've never seen a mother dog strike her puppies. n/t pnwmom May 2013 #101

I have. MADem May 2013 #103

I think it is about communication to some degree The Straight Story May 2013 #20

^^^this^^^ LeftInTX May 2013 #33

Agreed. HappyMe May 2013 #52

My all-purpose solution for misbehaving toddlers is to pick them up. hunter May 2013 #21

It's not how I parent. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #23

I never had my own kids, but from my own experience as a kid and Cleita May 2013 #25

I was like that LeftInTX May 2013 #34

When I was in boot camp, we were surprised they didn't beat recruits up Recursion May 2013 #44

You must not have been at Parris Island stanwyck May 2013 #85

3rd battalion Recursion May 2013 #87

Semper Fi stanwyck May 2013 #89

That's EXACTLY right. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #50

I could count all the times I was spanked on both hands, and I deserved it every time. cherokeeprogressive May 2013 #99

I don't know Scootaloo May 2013 #26

As Damon Wayans said in his stand-up: BlueCaliDem May 2013 #27

I got the belt on a naked bottom until I was 15. I would never do that to a child. LiberalLoner May 2013 #28

Never. defacto7 May 2013 #29

Spanking (very sparingly and very minimal) helps connect bad behavior with reality on point May 2013 #30

It connect violence with problem solving. nt Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #64

Let's call it what it is: hitting. The euphemism disguises the fact that pnwmom May 2013 #37

Take a poll in prisons. Good luck finding anyone there who wasn't spanked vanlassie May 2013 #39

Same as "spanking" my pets... bunnies May 2013 #42

Those are the two options? (nt) Recursion May 2013 #43

If you're resorting to assaulting your children Le Taz Hot May 2013 #45

I do not spank my kids gollygee May 2013 #49

can't we just call it "enhanced" parenting? G_j May 2013 #51

I popped our children on the butt a few times when they were little liberal N proud May 2013 #53

I rarely "spanked" my kids deutsey May 2013 #55

It is seldom the right thing to do beemer27 May 2013 #56

Violence is never a good solution to a problem. Laelth May 2013 #58

never ever ever is it okay. Spartacus Maximus XL May 2013 #60

Welcome to DU. n/t Laelth May 2013 #74

No option for 'whenever necessary'? telclaven May 2013 #61

Welcome to DU. n/t Laelth May 2013 #75

Spanking teaches kids that violence is that way to deal with problems. Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #62

I was spanked on occasion Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #67

Good. I'm glad you learned that violence is not the way to handle problems. Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #69

It could be a chicken-and-egg thing...Maybe they were more disobedient to begin with. reformist2 May 2013 #73

Spanking is lazy parenting. JoePhilly May 2013 #70

Another Great Post On The Subject Skraxx May 2013 #72

I voted "rarely" though I never hit my son. Smarmie Doofus May 2013 #78

Remembering the echo down the school hall of a paddle smacking butts. think May 2013 #79

I got spanked often as a kid Spirochete May 2013 #80

I don't have children therefore I have no position on this. MadrasT May 2013 #81

if you have to spank, you're admitting defeat, and stanwyck May 2013 #82

I raised a kid. My friends raised and are raising kids. None spank. Spanking is child abuse. Luminous Animal May 2013 #84

I don't think spanking is OK marions ghost May 2013 #88

I don't approve of ANY acts of violence in the home. n/t demmiblue May 2013 #90

We can choose to break the cycle... Little_Wing May 2013 #91

Never spanked either of my kids. NaturalHigh May 2013 #98

Nothing wrong with a spanking... Demo_Chris May 2013 #100

Spanking is hitting, that's what's wrong with it. n/t pnwmom May 2013 #102

Spanking is hitting, yes... Demo_Chris May 2013 #106

I think it's the opposite. Hitting in any form harms the parent - child relationship. pnwmom May 2013 #110

When I was a kid, I remember getting spanked once bhikkhu May 2013 #104

It doesn't work on my kids. bravenak May 2013 #105

I never want my kids to be afraid of me DiverDave May 2013 #107

I used to be grounded! LOL! FrodosPet May 2013 #108