General Discussion

marions ghost

(19,841 posts)

88. I don't think spanking is OK

Fri May 17, 2013, 03:37 PM

May 2013

for anybody to do or to receive.

Ever. Period. The End. It teaches physical abuse.

I was looking this up recently and about 60% of parents still believe in spanking, or they fall into the wishy-washy category of "I don't really believe in it but I still do or did it." People who defend it will insist that it did not hurt them. But it hurts many children in ways too complex to list here.

On the other hand I don't believe in spoiling, allowing too much verbal negotiation or letting young kids get away with bad behavior. You have to be firm and consistent. My mother never spanked but you knew when she meant business. She didn't pelt us with a lot of words or pontificating or lecturing. We just knew where her line was. Our Dad was like Mr. Rogers--it was unthinkable that he would hit us.

I just don't believe it is ever necessary.

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I was involved in a discussion a few nights ago that shocked and silenced me. [View all] applegrove May 2013 OP

I think too many people have way too many definitions of spanking. napi21 May 2013 #1

^ this. I agree wholeheartedly. LiberalAndProud May 2013 #2

Everyone at the table said spanking was okay. I think it is wrong. But then I don't have kids. applegrove May 2013 #7

now see, i dont have kids either... smackd May 2013 #12

I came from a divorced home -- one parent spanked, the other did not. FourScore May 2013 #19

But it is very possible to make the line clear without spanking. pnwmom May 2013 #35

I never felt "hit". n/t FourScore May 2013 #40

I always preferred the spanking too. onpatrol98 May 2013 #77

While I do not believe in the wholesale usage of avebury May 2013 #57

Spanking only serves a purpose when you're dealing with toddlers? grntuscarora May 2013 #9

I disagree. You're not trying to get the child to understand napi21 May 2013 #92

my grandmother used to make zerosumgame0005 May 2013 #15

"Smacked a diapered bottom." Le Taz Hot May 2013 #46

So YOU suggest banging a couple of pans together? Yea. napi21 May 2013 #93

Are you suggesting loud noises Le Taz Hot May 2013 #95

No. But it sounded like YOU were. napi21 May 2013 #96

Yep Little Star May 2013 #54

My father would say the same abelenkpe May 2013 #59

You're talking about something far beyond "spanking". napi21 May 2013 #94

Yeah, you're correct abelenkpe May 2013 #97

It depends on the definition. Laid across a parents lap and hit with a ruler for not finishing uppityperson May 2013 #3

Right you are. If it is a matter of life and death of course. Not having children of my own applegrove May 2013 #5

I have 4 kids laundry_queen May 2013 #31

+100,000 vanlassie May 2013 #38

Thank goddess for parents like you! Le Taz Hot May 2013 #47

Thank you. PotatoChip May 2013 #68

You Rock, And Have Eloquently Stated My Position As Well Skraxx May 2013 #71

+/\/\+ G_j May 2013 #76

probably needs to be a couple more choices for people who don't have kids snooper2 May 2013 #4

should be done more often newmember May 2013 #6

Yep, that option wasn't there customerserviceguy May 2013 #41

Disagree. The message is, might makes right stanwyck May 2013 #83

Didn't hurt you none now, did it? Ikonoklast May 2013 #109

I force my kids to spank each other. nt ZombieHorde May 2013 #8

I used to swat their clothed bottoms if they had really misbehaved. CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #10

There are alternatives to hitting that also "work." pnwmom May 2013 #36

I spanked my son once mokawanis May 2013 #11

"Discipline" is derived from "disciple" which means "to learn" True Earthling May 2013 #13

As a side note... Pelican May 2013 #24

As another side note, Le Taz Hot May 2013 #48

Yes yes... Pelican May 2013 #63

I'd like a link to that BklnDem75 May 2013 #65

It gets their attention tularetom May 2013 #14

If you were close enough to hit them, you were close enough to keep them from running in the street Luminous Animal May 2013 #86

I admit that I have at "terrible two" or around that age. mick063 May 2013 #16

It depends on the child LeftInTX May 2013 #17

My mom was master of the nerve pinch... Pelican May 2013 #32

Deliberately inflict physical pain on children? What a wonderful concept. Nye Bevan May 2013 #18

We are all animals newmember May 2013 #22

^^this^^ Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #66

I've never seen a mother dog strike her puppies. n/t pnwmom May 2013 #101

I have. MADem May 2013 #103

I think it is about communication to some degree The Straight Story May 2013 #20

^^^this^^^ LeftInTX May 2013 #33

Agreed. HappyMe May 2013 #52

My all-purpose solution for misbehaving toddlers is to pick them up. hunter May 2013 #21

It's not how I parent. Warren DeMontague May 2013 #23

I never had my own kids, but from my own experience as a kid and Cleita May 2013 #25

I was like that LeftInTX May 2013 #34

When I was in boot camp, we were surprised they didn't beat recruits up Recursion May 2013 #44

You must not have been at Parris Island stanwyck May 2013 #85

3rd battalion Recursion May 2013 #87

Semper Fi stanwyck May 2013 #89

That's EXACTLY right. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #50

I could count all the times I was spanked on both hands, and I deserved it every time. cherokeeprogressive May 2013 #99

I don't know Scootaloo May 2013 #26

As Damon Wayans said in his stand-up: BlueCaliDem May 2013 #27

I got the belt on a naked bottom until I was 15. I would never do that to a child. LiberalLoner May 2013 #28

Never. defacto7 May 2013 #29

Spanking (very sparingly and very minimal) helps connect bad behavior with reality on point May 2013 #30

It connect violence with problem solving. nt Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #64

Let's call it what it is: hitting. The euphemism disguises the fact that pnwmom May 2013 #37

Take a poll in prisons. Good luck finding anyone there who wasn't spanked vanlassie May 2013 #39

Same as "spanking" my pets... bunnies May 2013 #42

Those are the two options? (nt) Recursion May 2013 #43

If you're resorting to assaulting your children Le Taz Hot May 2013 #45

I do not spank my kids gollygee May 2013 #49

can't we just call it "enhanced" parenting? G_j May 2013 #51

I popped our children on the butt a few times when they were little liberal N proud May 2013 #53

I rarely "spanked" my kids deutsey May 2013 #55

It is seldom the right thing to do beemer27 May 2013 #56

Violence is never a good solution to a problem. Laelth May 2013 #58

never ever ever is it okay. Spartacus Maximus XL May 2013 #60

Welcome to DU. n/t Laelth May 2013 #74

No option for 'whenever necessary'? telclaven May 2013 #61

Welcome to DU. n/t Laelth May 2013 #75

Spanking teaches kids that violence is that way to deal with problems. Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #62

I was spanked on occasion Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #67

Good. I'm glad you learned that violence is not the way to handle problems. Pale Blue Dot May 2013 #69

It could be a chicken-and-egg thing...Maybe they were more disobedient to begin with. reformist2 May 2013 #73

Spanking is lazy parenting. JoePhilly May 2013 #70

Another Great Post On The Subject Skraxx May 2013 #72

I voted "rarely" though I never hit my son. Smarmie Doofus May 2013 #78

Remembering the echo down the school hall of a paddle smacking butts. think May 2013 #79

I got spanked often as a kid Spirochete May 2013 #80

I don't have children therefore I have no position on this. MadrasT May 2013 #81

if you have to spank, you're admitting defeat, and stanwyck May 2013 #82

I raised a kid. My friends raised and are raising kids. None spank. Spanking is child abuse. Luminous Animal May 2013 #84

I don't think spanking is OK marions ghost May 2013 #88

I don't approve of ANY acts of violence in the home. n/t demmiblue May 2013 #90

We can choose to break the cycle... Little_Wing May 2013 #91

Never spanked either of my kids. NaturalHigh May 2013 #98

Nothing wrong with a spanking... Demo_Chris May 2013 #100

Spanking is hitting, that's what's wrong with it. n/t pnwmom May 2013 #102

Spanking is hitting, yes... Demo_Chris May 2013 #106

I think it's the opposite. Hitting in any form harms the parent - child relationship. pnwmom May 2013 #110

When I was a kid, I remember getting spanked once bhikkhu May 2013 #104

It doesn't work on my kids. bravenak May 2013 #105

I never want my kids to be afraid of me DiverDave May 2013 #107

I used to be grounded! LOL! FrodosPet May 2013 #108