Theatergoer praised as hero for smashing woman's cellphone

[GiaGiovanni]

160. When you escalate from verbal argument to physical action, you don't know how it will be interpreted

Your personal interpretation ("a little jarring," "more humiliating than anything else&quot is certainly a possible one, but there are others possible, including the interpretation of the man's actions as a physical threat. And the police, if they had been called, would have had to respond to the man's actual crime (grabbing and damaging someone else's property) as well as to the perceived crime of physically threat, if the women had claimed this. Remember, talking on your cell phone is not a crime. Taking someone's property, damaging it, and acting in a physically threatening manner is. The man here was in the wrong legally and was more than a little foolish.

Your argument defending the man is that the woman verbally bothered him. She "pushed him" verbally by not getting off her cell phone and telling him that she didn't have to. This behavior is definitely rude, presumptuous, and narcissistic. It's bound to cause irritation, frustration, and rage. It's what we call "pushing your buttons." Some people are amazingly talented at pushing your buttons. However, the right behavior in this situation is to walk away, to disengage. If you allow it to escalate, you could be the one in trouble.

In the case of the theater-goer, his real issue was not with the cell phone user but with the theater. The theater clearly had a "no cell phone" policy, but they were not willing to enforce it. That is the crux of the problem. The theater is taking your money for a product, but if they don't enforce their rules, you can't enjoy their product. It was the theater that was remiss in its duties. The theater manager should have spoken to the woman, and if that didn't work, the security guard should have escorted the woman out. If the woman had refused to leave, the police should have been called.

Unfortunately, the theater staff did nothing. At that point, the man should have demanded his money back and taken his girlfriend somewhere else. If he couldn't get his money back, they should have left anyway, and he should have called the theater's corporate office in the morning to get satisfaction. And in the days of the internet, there is nothing to prevent him from leaving a scathing review on Yelp or some other site. All of these actions would have been legal and appropriate.

He may get lucky this time and the woman won't file charges. But there will come a time when he tries this kind of thing again, and, then, he might not be so lucky. If you overreact physically, it will come back to bite you eventually. It's only a matter of time.