General Discussion

Ednahilda

(195 posts)

54. Precisely what I did.

Thu May 23, 2013, 09:30 AM

May 2013

Since I had all boys, I figured that there were things that young teen-aged boys did not want to discuss with Mom, so I found a really good, straightforward book about sex written for adolescents in a question-and-answer format and I left it on the book shelf in a prominent place. Then, when the subject came up, either a question from them or perhaps something we heard on the radio, I answered or commented in as much of a matter-of-fact way as I could. Seems to have worked well: nobody has an STD, nobody's girlfriends ever got pregnant, everyone seems well-adjusted.

I wish I could remember the name of the book.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

147 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

My daughter has just finished her abstinence-only sex ed at school [View all] gollygee May 2013 OP

Where are you located? Is this a public school? (nt) enough May 2013 #1

Michigan, and yes. n/t gollygee May 2013 #3

Those of us from MI can probably guess what general area, too Occulus May 2013 #12

You'd probably guess right gollygee May 2013 #14

Nope. We're hamstrung on what we can teach. knitter4democracy May 2013 #126

I would have expected this from some "Christian Academy," not a public school. enough May 2013 #122

Speaking of location -- this is how Europe teaches it... FourScore May 2013 #124

drx netflix and hulu will check it out Thanks lunasun May 2013 #129

It stands to reason they wouldn't talk about condoms because it is about abstinence liberal N proud May 2013 #2

class title should be Not Talking About What We're Not Talking About eShirl May 2013 #4

The Title of This Class is a Secret n/t gollygee May 2013 #5

Abstaining From The Mystery. n/t intheflow May 2013 #60

Cue Elvis (Costello): Arugula Latte May 2013 #136

That song about sums it up markbark May 2013 #147

What age is your daughter? Buzz Clik May 2013 #6

11 gollygee May 2013 #8

She's 11 and you never told her what a condom is? Buzz Clik May 2013 #70

Well I did tell her when she asked gollygee May 2013 #72

well done! Buzz Clik May 2013 #75

When I was in 5th grade, we never had a class like that Art_from_Ark May 2013 #123

We did in 6th grade ... mid-70s in an Iowa public school. SomeGuyInEagan May 2013 #131

In my 6th grade class, Art_from_Ark May 2013 #132

Oklahoma, mid 1970s: Boys in the gym, girls in the cafeteria. Heidi May 2013 #137

Was that in junior high? Art_from_Ark May 2013 #138

I think it was sixth grade. Heidi May 2013 #139

I might have had an inkling about what VD was Art_from_Ark May 2013 #140

Most of the kids in our town were Church of Christ or Southern Baptist, Heidi May 2013 #141

I always thought that "cooties" was just baby talk for "cuties" Art_from_Ark May 2013 #142

All we learned about was puberty. But that was a long time ago. n/t pnwmom May 2013 #144

Oh and another weird thing is that they DID tell her not to share needles gollygee May 2013 #7

Because these people have a very deep seated pangaia May 2013 #13

Having been a sex education teacher in the seventies, a few snappyturtle May 2013 #20

Yeah, they might as well do nothing gollygee May 2013 #23

Yes. I think if classes taught preventative disease measures snappyturtle May 2013 #30

Don't share needles? If anything should be in the "abstain" category... thesquanderer May 2013 #32

Thank you! gollygee May 2013 #33

Oh sure, that makes sense. progressoid May 2013 #103

'Risky behavior?' Cirque du So-What May 2013 #9

Uh, that's defined as behavior involving risk. Ilsa May 2013 #119

I avoid STDs... awoke_in_2003 May 2013 #130

Well by the time my kid reached the age of 15 I made sure they understood about sex. I am southernyankeebelle May 2013 #10

Heh, I had a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" just "accidentally" lying around... CTyankee May 2013 #17

My kids entered puberty when AIDS first made the news. I talked to the kids, gave them the reading Arkansas Granny May 2013 #47

I was one of those kids in that generation. TM99 May 2013 #77

Precisely what I did. Ednahilda May 2013 #54

This is what I got to read pipi_k May 2013 #66

better than nothing, which is what I got... CTyankee May 2013 #68

Me too. I learned about sex by doing it. KittyWampus May 2013 #84

my poor sister in law had it worse. Her first period was when she was only 9 years old and CTyankee May 2013 #86

Actually... pipi_k May 2013 #107

My parents didn't share the sex talk. I was cluess. My parents had children late southernyankeebelle May 2013 #108

Now if you only used illustrations from Our Bodies, Ourselves then grantcart May 2013 #116

Uh oh, that book will not get you very far for tomorrow's Challenge, grant! CTyankee May 2013 #117

I knew all about Berlin Expat May 2013 #78

Wish america could be that progressive. southernyankeebelle May 2013 #105

"risky behavior" Javaman May 2013 #11

Running with scissors, sniffing glue, all risky behavior. justiceischeap May 2013 #16

I remember back in the early '90's I would say... Javaman May 2013 #18

I remember my sex ed classes (I had two of them) justiceischeap May 2013 #22

I had to sign a permission slip for what little she was taught gollygee May 2013 #26

I'm curious what, if any consequence would there had been if you had refused? davidpdx May 2013 #49

My daughter said some kids' parents didn't sign it gollygee May 2013 #51

So they were complaining that abstinence was being taught? davidpdx May 2013 #55

It sounds like some parents hear "reproductive health" gollygee May 2013 #58

Maybe they think they can keep their kids in the 12th century davidpdx May 2013 #63

"the church community" ?!?!?? hootinholler May 2013 #64

That's state law. Silly, isn't it? knitter4democracy May 2013 #128

that level of understanding and education has vanished for the most part Javaman May 2013 #28

Surprisingly, when I lived in MO, I had been better educated justiceischeap May 2013 #31

Speaking of the American Taliban... Javaman May 2013 #35

I still remember that scene from the documentary Jesus Camp justiceischeap May 2013 #40

That was one frightening and enlightening movie Javaman May 2013 #48

Google Rushdooney sometime hootinholler May 2013 #69

Funny you bring that up... Javaman May 2013 #74

risky behavior--like teaching abstinance only. pangaia May 2013 #15

My first day of sex ed in 1974: football coach told mixed gender class that no_hypocrisy May 2013 #19

I don't know if she'll get any sex ed in high school gollygee May 2013 #29

I decidedly knew more than my parents combined. no_hypocrisy May 2013 #41

:spray: krispos42 May 2013 #44

The old definition of rape left a lot to be desired gollygee May 2013 #46

Until 1974, it was legal in all fifty states. no_hypocrisy May 2013 #53

I'm rather flabbergasted. krispos42 May 2013 #85

secondary virgin dterrell May 2013 #21

I was watching a TED talk last night justiceischeap May 2013 #24

I remember that line... bobclark86 May 2013 #61

I'm fairly certain little Jesus knows mom is a liar. Ikonoklast May 2013 #99

She completed her abstinence-only sex ed? How do you feel about being a grandparent? FSogol May 2013 #25

LOL gollygee May 2013 #27

my sentiments subject May 2013 #125

It must be challenging to teach children on a subject that they must be kept ignorant about. RC May 2013 #34

She said they separated them for part of it gollygee May 2013 #38

That's fine. You should be the one teaching her anyways. cbdo2007 May 2013 #36

MY kid isn't the problem gollygee May 2013 #39

It's changed because the schools stopped doing it, I think. justiceischeap May 2013 #42

That's optimistic. gollygee May 2013 #43

I know, it's odd for me to be so optimistic justiceischeap May 2013 #45

Lol. You want to know what my brothers "sex talk" with his sons was? Xithras May 2013 #104

I went through pipi_k May 2013 #89

I used to teach a college course on Human Sexuality aikoaiko May 2013 #37

I think they called it "Health" class in my school system in rural Georgia MNBrewer May 2013 #50

Yeah, that's too bad gollygee May 2013 #56

Can't they at least say "Don't let a boy stick his thing in your thing?" marshall May 2013 #52

A few years back my mother was with the AIDS Task Force giving talks at schools. hobbit709 May 2013 #57

My wife taught "health ed" in a NYC public school and... meaculpa2011 May 2013 #59

Right! gollygee May 2013 #62

Sigh. HughBeaumont May 2013 #65

I propose a Free Market solution. Ian David May 2013 #67

It's almost that time for us. . . Borchkins May 2013 #71

I just bought her a book called It's Perfectly Normal gollygee May 2013 #73

My daughter brought home a pamphlet the other day NewJeffCT May 2013 #97

I agree with Gollygee. emmadoggy May 2013 #115

question TNNurse May 2013 #76

It don't see anything for just our school system gollygee May 2013 #81

Planned Parenthood came to the school in 2002 HockeyMom May 2013 #79

Lovely. (sarcasm) n/t Laelth May 2013 #80

My daughter might have actually preferred that kind of sex ed., lol deutsey May 2013 #82

Apparently they have abstained from doing their job. nolabear May 2013 #83

I teach/have taught .... AnneD May 2013 #87

Make this public someplace other than DU. murielm99 May 2013 #88

The best advice all sex educators should read was by Elizabeth Smart. She said in some Thinkingabout May 2013 #90

Holy crap gollygee May 2013 #91

Wow! My kids had a great sex ed course (by comparison) WCIL May 2013 #92

So now sex is labeled as risky behavior. What if, as many kids do, one thinks of it as efhmc May 2013 #93

Oh, great, and another generation of PRUDES Warpy May 2013 #94

I grew up in central Connecticut NewJeffCT May 2013 #95

Things are a bit different here in my daughter's public school in LibDemAlways May 2013 #96

If not for sex ed in high school tabbycat31 May 2013 #98

Yeah... not that way in my household... bobclark86 May 2013 #102

I would have been traumatized if I walked in on my parents tabbycat31 May 2013 #109

In high school, bobclark86 May 2013 #112

What a let down and a waste of time libodem May 2013 #100

So... what the hell is so bad about... bobclark86 May 2013 #101

Great example of why abstinence-only sex ed DOESN'T WORK! AndyA May 2013 #106

And I thought England in the 1960s was prudish! xenocleia May 2013 #110

Welcome to DU my friend! hrmjustin May 2013 #111

Someone tweeted a map amuse bouche May 2013 #113

Did they teach her about "Purple-ing?".......... beachgirl2365 May 2013 #114

I remember the P.E class... Lady Freedom Returns May 2013 #118

I hope you complain to the school Ilsa May 2013 #120

only in america Chaco Dundee May 2013 #121

What a cruel joke on youth. n/t RKP5637 May 2013 #127

I teach PE and health. WinstonSmith4740 May 2013 #133

My child's district offers "the film" as a viewing party xmas74 May 2013 #134

Surprised they didn't just tell her to put an aspirin between her knees and pray to Gawd blkmusclmachine May 2013 #135

Sex - Ed is a Joke basspro1o1 May 2013 #143

It's all about Turbineguy May 2013 #145

How come no abstinence-only sex ed goes into the ways the body can shut that thing down after rape? ck4829 May 2013 #146