Man arrested for sending Craigslist sex party to neighbor’s house

[Chan790]

69. I'll admit when I'm called on them.

I did not see that one when it happened and I'm usually very on-top of these things. That is horrible and troubling. I'm very sorry that happened to her.

Now I have to put on my sex-educator hat because there is an important teaching point here:

I'm going to use this as a teaching moment, both here and in future classes. There's enough bad-practices there to throttle a horse...if people had been following good-practices and safety-measures this would not have happened to that poor woman. The big one: always meet a few days in advance of any sort of agreed-upon play with a new partner in an agreed-upon safe-space (coffee shop, diner, munch), especially when it comes to any sort of play-scene that pushes the boundaries of consent¹ or legality. Get the parameters of the scene in writing and both sign it, two copies. If the person you're communicating with to arrange this play-session is unwilling to do either of these things, that should raise red-flags.

1: While I'd advise people to not engage in this kind of play (It's not my thing at all) with strangers, it happens constantly. Somewhere between 500-1000 people a month in the US seek-and-find a stranger-partner to fulfill their rape-fantasy whether using kink-community message-boards, Craigslist, OKCupid, Yahoo, in-person meetings (at munches) or other means of meeting. (Worst and most-unsafe frequent-locale is in bars.) More than 1 in 4 individuals on OKCupid answer affirmatively to the question "Do you have rape fantasies?" and slightly less than a third say "yes" to "Would you consider roleplaying out a rape fantasy with partner who asked you to?"