General Discussion

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)

210. But sex is a primary biological drive, as basic as hunger and thirst...

Sun May 26, 2013, 10:58 PM

May 2013

I'm sure there are those who have fulfilling and happy lives as asexual people and power to them. But I also think it's true that the vast majority of people have a sex drive on bar with their drive for food and water. It doesn't mean it has to overpower everything and anything. I certainly don't think about food 24/7, but to say that food doesn't make up legitimate and very large part of our society would be disingenuous. The same for sex, and for both genders. I agree with you that the discussion has been almost entirely one sided for generations and this is wrong and has harmed women greatly. But I think to let the pendulum swing entirely the other direction and say that it's only, or predominately men who have a strong sex drive / need isn't any more correct.

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Women: I have a sex question. [View all] leftyladyfrommo May 2013 OP

It depends. Brickbat May 2013 #1

I think it is kind of a viagra for women. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #2

Yeah, if it's a Viagra-like thing that increases blood flow to the genital area and does whatever Brickbat May 2013 #6

I have it on good authority that . . . brush May 2013 #72

You don't enjoy sex? ...nt TeeYiYi May 2013 #3

Honestly? I'm sick of this everything being about sex. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #8

I really would like to be able to have a conversation with a man leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #10

But that's what DemocraticUndergound is for! randome May 2013 #13

I have a couple of straight male friends. HappyMe May 2013 #14

Less complicated, too... pipi_k May 2013 #29

Gay guys talk about sex just as much as straight men n/t FreeState May 2013 #85

POh, I know. But it's different talking about it when leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #88

I have lots of male friends and never feel any sexual overtones in our conversations. sabrina 1 May 2013 #128

in what way are you constantly aware of sexual overtones? hfojvt May 2013 #19

because with many people, you are forced to acknowledge them and turn them down..... bettyellen May 2013 #31

I am trying to empathize hfojvt May 2013 #36

Some men are overly persistent BainsBane May 2013 #94

has it occured to you how dismissive you are of other people's concerns? i have yet to bettyellen May 2013 #97

+++ Starry Messenger May 2013 #116

I'm trying to be kind about it. But to hear the incessant complaints and not one real word of bettyellen May 2013 #118

The other poster's point boils down to "the grass is always greener." Threedifferentones May 2013 #160

actually, lots of guys keep trying, needling away. I'm really good at ignoring them, but I know it bettyellen May 2013 #173

I said I tried, didn't I? hfojvt May 2013 #129

I never said repulsive, but your hostility IS pretty darned off putting. As is your complete bettyellen May 2013 #171

Awesome!! Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #182

Big boys don't cry. Laelth May 2013 #216

The poster ignores and dismisses others out of hand. bettyellen May 2013 #219

A counterpoint... Chan790 May 2013 #102

Do you really have people trying to force friendship on you? That's sort of bizarre! I don't find bettyellen May 2013 #107

Amen to that--"some people don't interact with others unless there's something in it for them"nt raccoon May 2013 #114

most. maybe all. HiPointDem May 2013 #131

I think people find me odd because I just like listening to people. Love when they share stories and bettyellen May 2013 #172

then you get something out of it. that's my point. HiPointDem May 2013 #208

True- but they do too, usually. bettyellen May 2013 #220

yes. which proves the point. most (all?) people don't associate with people unless HiPointDem May 2013 #236

I'm perplexed by the idea that anyone could be attracted to someone they don't like. redqueen May 2013 #191

Oh I can. Usually not assholes, but occasionally people I could care less about or mesh with can bettyellen May 2013 #195

Oh well yeah, I can find them attractive... I just could never actually want to have sex with them. redqueen May 2013 #196

I'm talking about wanting to have sex with them, but kinda knowing it's only about some weird spark bettyellen May 2013 #197

I have a little problem with that too. smirkymonkey May 2013 #174

I'm too nice. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #189

Same here, and I'm not even that friendly n00b May 2013 #198

Welcome to DU my friend! hrmjustin May 2013 #200

Thanks! n00b May 2013 #202

No Not at all! I am part of the welcome wagon. After 10 posts you will be able to start you own hrmjustin May 2013 #203

And then you turn 60 and become invisible. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #231

Flip side Thor_MN May 2013 #218

Doesn't she know that management complained? Your manager or someone should have explained this bettyellen May 2013 #225

That situation would make me very uncomfortable. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #232

Amen... PasadenaTrudy May 2013 #150

There is definitely a good side to that. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #163

Yes. Yes I would and this is why. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #4

Look into testosterone shots... TeeYiYi May 2013 #18

will I grow a beard? Rosa Luxemburg May 2013 #204

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #24

Indeed. Thank you for sharing this as it seems more common than people talk about. uppityperson May 2013 #43

56 and no saggy butt here Skittles May 2013 #59

hate to tell you, but that's what i thought until i hit 58. the quality of the fat changes & HiPointDem May 2013 #132

I can pick up barbells with my butt. It was just a phrase indicating humor about my body. uppityperson May 2013 #133

Wish I could rec your post kdmorris May 2013 #57

Yes, but unless you married a man much younger than you, he is having some of the exact same issues. retread May 2013 #69

I did. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #90

Well said. TheOther95Percent May 2013 #80

Good post. nt raccoon May 2013 #115

^this Marrah_G May 2013 #175

To be fair, there should be a pill that makes men more interested in sex! immoderate May 2013 #5

Well there kind of is. sibelian May 2013 #82

No. LWolf May 2013 #7

I don't know. HappyMe May 2013 #9

God no Aerows May 2013 #11

Sex SamKnause May 2013 #12

It depends on the woman. Sometimes changing hormonal levels decrease interest in sex to minimal uppityperson May 2013 #45

I agree, I am in my late fifties and have not lost interest in sex. A pill is not required. Nika May 2013 #56

instead of a pill, I think women would like men who are attractive to them. Whisp May 2013 #15

Or a woman that is likewise attractive Aerows May 2013 #37

I'd settle for someone interested in me, regardless of looks. alarimer May 2013 #124

i wish we could trade. i'm not much interested in sex & would like to have a male friend who HiPointDem May 2013 #134

Winner! Lydia Leftcoast May 2013 #214

That is such a disgusting phrase. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #233

Frigid doesn't mean "uninterested in sex" Lydia Leftcoast May 2013 #238

Nope. redqueen May 2013 #16

If it is safe and it is the woman's own choice I'm ok with it. davsand May 2013 #17

It depends. There are lots of women who feel they are missing out on something,... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #20

Doesn't sound to me like the women you're describing have a problem with becoming aroused. redqueen May 2013 #22

I'm a guy who has had lots of female friends my whole life... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #25

No. redqueen May 2013 #27

It's getting to that point that's the problem... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #35

Yes, many people of both sexes are conditioned to think all kinds of things, redqueen May 2013 #39

Not every woman feels the same Aerows May 2013 #47

I'm struggling to understand what that has to do with what I said... redqueen May 2013 #48

Uh, well Aerows May 2013 #49

Could you quote the condescending part? redqueen May 2013 #50

The funny thing Aerows May 2013 #52

So... no? redqueen May 2013 #55

LOL Aerows May 2013 #60

"Honey"... "It's always the blindest that cannot see." redqueen May 2013 #61

You and I Aerows May 2013 #62

This thread is about medical treatment for low libido in women. redqueen May 2013 #64

An attitude can never be condescending Aerows May 2013 #65

"An attitude can never be condescending" ??? redqueen May 2013 #68

CORRECT Skittles May 2013 #76

"Some feminists are lesbians, and we are very open minded about having sex with women." Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #103

I didn't see the "picked as their role model" Aerows May 2013 #106

Bingo. It's when you give up fear that you are free... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #119

Precisely Aerows May 2013 #120

The old "comfortable in your own skin" thing is rare. Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #121

I guess a pill of this sort could have a double function, KitSileya May 2013 #147

"autonimic nervous system" Schema Thing May 2013 #38

LOL redqueen May 2013 #40

LOL Schema Thing May 2013 #46

Last sentence..... abelenkpe May 2013 #28

I suspect that is a result of past abuse BainsBane May 2013 #96

I think so too Aerows May 2013 #110

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #21

I suppose that being married, I would if I lost all interest Nikia May 2013 #23

With two kids, including a nursing infant, and working on top of that, Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #63

I so empathize with this. redqueen May 2013 #66

It might be kind of fun for the hubby & me, I admit my sex drive is not what it used to be..... peacebird May 2013 #26

If there were a pill... pipi_k May 2013 #30

Loss of libido is a pretty common side effect of SSRIs. winter is coming May 2013 #32

i might. it might be fun. La Lioness Priyanka May 2013 #33

I love hot chicks! Botany May 2013 #34

I'm pretty carnal Aerows May 2013 #41

I like those hot chicks. HappyMe May 2013 #44

DUzy nt longship May 2013 #58

Agreed - DUzy n/t Aerows May 2013 #70

As a male, I've often wished for a pill that would turn off libido Schema Thing May 2013 #42

No. I wouldn't take it. BlueCaliDem May 2013 #51

I would not be interested in a pill like this Nika May 2013 #53

See, that ws my first reaction, too. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #83

If there was something physically wrong, sure LadyHawkAZ May 2013 #54

exactly, it's a medical issue BainsBane May 2013 #98

On balance, I think it's a good thing. LadyHawkAZ May 2013 #130

Hell yeah! bunnies May 2013 #67

Sex is over rated. I could never understand why some people, male and female, darkangel218 May 2013 #71

There are lots of asexual people, even. redqueen May 2013 #91

What do you mean by universally erased? not taken into consideration? darkangel218 May 2013 #92

Almost entirely ignored. redqueen May 2013 #151

I know, im encountering this on.daily basis. darkangel218 May 2013 #155

They certainly aren't a part of popular culture, that's for sure. KitSileya May 2013 #149

Yes, even just people with low sex drives... just ignored, or worse, pathologized. redqueen May 2013 #152

My guess is that if a pill like the one suggested in the OP is manufactured, KitSileya May 2013 #154

They better never make a pill. redqueen May 2013 #157

See, that's what I thought, too. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #190

No; I love sex and view it as a gift, and as a way of attaining and giving pleasure. Zorra May 2013 #73

For me, a pill to increase my interest in sex might induce uncontrollable nymphomania. Botany May 2013 #75

Sorry to disappoint you, darlin', but Zorra May 2013 #78

botany = dumb Botany May 2013 #89

Hormone Replacement Therapy. Zorra May 2013 #100

Me too Aerows May 2013 #84

Right on. sister Zorra! Kath1 May 2013 #215

I can think of a lot of women in otherwise stable relationships Warpy May 2013 #74

what is this invisibility cloak? Skittles May 2013 #77

I'm not invisible either. HappyMe May 2013 #81

You Go, Girl. n/t leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #87

It's what drops over 99.99% of us Warpy May 2013 #108

goldie hawn? nah, she just has good plastic surgery. lots of it. and starting to be less HiPointDem May 2013 #135

Well, she's my age, it had to catch up with her sooner or later Warpy May 2013 #166

I get more attention at age 51 than in my 20's fitman May 2013 #167

I too am very fit Skittles May 2013 #206

FYI: sorta flirting, generally means being a nice (instead of rude) person... many of us are rude bettyellen May 2013 #229

Yep, I am in my late 40's, but the only men that seem to smirkymonkey May 2013 #177

My wife is 52 and no wrinkles fitman May 2013 #217

I'm 40 Aerows May 2013 #181

Unfortunately, that's pretty true. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #86

As a 20-something, there are women over 50 that I find physically attractive Hippo_Tron May 2013 #211

In France, they'd call you normal. Warpy May 2013 #212

I would be very uncomfortable dating someone a lot younger. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #234

I fucking love sex. Don't need a pill... cynatnite May 2013 #79

Count me in! Kath1 May 2013 #138

Happy Birthday! cynatnite May 2013 #142

Thank you so much, cynatnite! Kath1 May 2013 #213

Just turned 61 and still enjoy sex. unapatriciated May 2013 #226

Why do you assume women aren't interested in sex BainsBane May 2013 #93

The OP said it was from some study. nt Raine May 2013 #99

NO way. nt Raine May 2013 #95

Probably not notadmblnd May 2013 #101

Yes. Good sex can be hard to find. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #188

Men: if there were a pill that made you interested in things other than sex, would you take it? BlueStreak May 2013 #104

i'd like to hear the answers to that one. HiPointDem May 2013 #136

(crickets) BlueStreak May 2013 #139

try it as an OP hfojvt May 2013 #165

My point was ... BlueStreak May 2013 #169

Thank god! A man with interesting interests! smirkymonkey May 2013 #180

maybe they just have more interesting jobs hfojvt May 2013 #199

You mean, lessen my sex drive? LittleBlue May 2013 #153

I AM interested in other things rather than sex....... socialist_n_TN May 2013 #230

Last time I organized a socialist convention, a sex orgy broke out. BlueStreak May 2013 #235

If I lost interest in sex, I'd most definitely take a pill in order to reestablish the interest. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #105

Good for you Aerows May 2013 #109

Perhaps those are exactly the women who need a pill like this most? Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #111

Some don't Aerows May 2013 #112

"having a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle" - this language erases asexual people redqueen May 2013 #140

Okay. The one percent of the population that is asexual are all happy and fulfilled. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #144

I agree. redqueen May 2013 #145

Exactly. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #146

These creams have been on the market for years now. I doubt one woman venting will dent their sales. redqueen May 2013 #148

I don't think it's so absured. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #192

I don't believe a pill that would enhance or reactivate a woman's libido Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #194

That seems obvious right? Having a sex drive doesnt mean you will have sex with anyone who asks stevenleser May 2013 #223

What seems obvious to you and me appears to escape some others. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #224

You sure are right about that. It's really bizarre stevenleser May 2013 #227

***Some seem to be saying women shouldn't be allowed to choose whether they have this or not.*** Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #228

But sex is a primary biological drive, as basic as hunger and thirst... Locut0s May 2013 #210

What the hell does it have to do with "hot chick" BS? idwiyo May 2013 #113

this reminds me of the "spurious" spanish fly ads in 1970s porno mags we arely staircase May 2013 #117

Very few women I have dated were not interested in sex madville May 2013 #122

Never treestar May 2013 #123

It depends on the side effects. Ilsa May 2013 #125

"My main goal in life certainly isn't to be a hot chick." Kath1 May 2013 #126

If I got any more interested ohheckyeah May 2013 #127

I have been a sex fiend since I was in my teens-nothing has changed! Except.. dorkzilla May 2013 #137

No, sexually aggressive women are not using it as a bargaining chip... WTF? redqueen May 2013 #141

I only meant MY girlfriends were using it that way dorkzilla May 2013 #159

Ohhhh yeah... gotcha. redqueen May 2013 #161

LOL! Could be! I'm from NY so we tend to be more aggressive anyway ;) dorkzilla May 2013 #170

Ha, I can't do subtle. redqueen May 2013 #193

I long ago learned to just accept whatever people want to do without judging lunatica May 2013 #143

Sex is part of a relationship. So if I had a problem, w/no intrst in sex... Honeycombe8 May 2013 #156

The "Magic Pill?" is a man good at sex. alphafemale May 2013 #158

+1 CountAllVotes May 2013 #207

I have an idea... pink-o May 2013 #162

I wish I had known a lot of things when I was younger. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #164

First I'd see a doctor ismnotwasm May 2013 #168

I assumed this would be a prescription drug Marrah_G May 2013 #176

I'm 67 and have a healthy sex drive tavernier May 2013 #178

Oh yes, Alan Rickman would do it. smirkymonkey May 2013 #183

I suspect we'd have great conversations tavernier May 2013 #184

I don't need a pill to make me less interested. Jennicut May 2013 #179

I'm 63. Let me think about it. :-) WinkyDink May 2013 #185

Depends on how it works with whatever caused the loss of desire. aquart May 2013 #186

You might want to up your B vitamins. Especially B-12. aquart May 2013 #187

It depends on if you want more interest in it. Lady Freedom Returns May 2013 #201

My job makes me feel like a dead weed Rosa Luxemburg May 2013 #205

As a great 31 year old male virgin not by choice I wish i had a pill to turn off my sex drive.. Locut0s May 2013 #209

I LOVE sex! Sissyk May 2013 #221

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #222

If I lost interest in sex without a good reason, yes. In_The_Wind May 2013 #237

To answer your question bluntly... Jasana May 2013 #239