General Discussion

Gormy Cuss

(30,884 posts)

85. I was responding to the comment that it was a lifelong commitment

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:33 PM

Jun 2013

when in fact it's as breakable as any other relationship. It just takes a bit more work and money to break up.

Happily married people are comfortable with the presumption that it's a stronger partnership. Some like the OP apparently have trouble understanding why others are just as strongly partnered emotionally remain unmarried. Based on those I know, there are many reasons why these couples are just as happy unmarried as others are married. Until recently all of my LGBT friends who were happily partnered, for example. I have friends whose first spouse died and they're happily partnered again, long term, with no plans to ever marry again. I know straight couples who have raised their children together without ever marrying too.

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Curious about marriage versus long-term partnership logic thoughts. [View all] IdaBriggs May 2013 OP

So, Ida, good friend, does he have a brother...older?..n/t monmouth3 May 2013 #1

He is the first born in his family, and his younger brother is involved with someone. IdaBriggs May 2013 #5

My sons are in their 50s so not looking for anyone in that age category. Just kidding really, monmouth3 May 2013 #13

Marriage is a contract, primarily about property. lumberjack_jeff May 2013 #2

I don't understand this answer. IdaBriggs May 2013 #8

It's complicated. lumberjack_jeff May 2013 #12

I was quoting from a song that was featured on "Glee" a few years back. IdaBriggs May 2013 #16

I HATE that song! Phentex May 2013 #21

I think the "it" is her finger. IdaBriggs May 2013 #24

If you liked her finger you shoulda put a ring on her finger? Phentex May 2013 #25

This is such a revolting song Tumbulu May 2013 #30

why does putting a ring on someone's finger and getting married have to mean you own them? liberal_at_heart May 2013 #33

I am referring to the song Tumbulu May 2013 #36

Common law -If you act like a married couple, you are a married couple. nt Xipe Totec May 2013 #3

Most states don't Go Vols May 2013 #7

Michigan no longer recognizes common law marriage. nt IdaBriggs May 2013 #9

Georgia abolished common law marriage in 1997. n/t Laelth Jun 2013 #74

my partner and I are in our late 50s... mike_c May 2013 #4

That makes sense - the whole "once burned, twice shy" thing. IdaBriggs May 2013 #23

Ooh! New question! IdaBriggs May 2013 #59

Hmm. Chan790 May 2013 #64

Every man for himself, eh? All of the language you use about relationships is I think Bluenorthwest May 2013 #70

No babies in my future. Chan790 May 2013 #71

I don't agree with your statement: DebJ Jun 2013 #75

Likewise. nt Chan790 Jun 2013 #83

I can only speak for myself, yes, I would still be there. 1-Old-Man May 2013 #65

Yes and yes Autumn Colors Jun 2013 #81

for some, marriage is a necessity for the children, without it the kids are not legit loli phabay May 2013 #6

Not true in California Tumbulu May 2013 #31

states rules dont matter when it comes to culture loli phabay Jun 2013 #72

Not sure what culture you come from Tumbulu Jun 2013 #86

east coast, papers dont matter with us either but there is structure to families that important loli phabay Jun 2013 #87

I Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #10

I want my right to marry, but don't necessarily want to marry. Zorra May 2013 #11

Please don't take this the wrong way, but one of the things you wrote is one of the big reasons Egalitarian Thug May 2013 #14

Financially, my fiance / husband set me straight that it was "our" money IdaBriggs May 2013 #20

Secular marriage isn't a lifelong commitment. It's a revocable contract. Gormy Cuss May 2013 #15

I realize it is a revocable contract but I still like being married. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #18

I was responding to the comment that it was a lifelong commitment Gormy Cuss Jun 2013 #85

People in a long term relationship know that they are in the relationship because they want to be. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #17

One of the most honest posts I have ever read. IdaBriggs May 2013 #22

Thank you. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #26

I would be happier without the state's consent to my union REP May 2013 #19

Dating currently Puzzledtraveller May 2013 #27

Mr. bunnies & I have been together for 13 years... bunnies May 2013 #28

I don't have any advice because each relationship is so different laundry_queen May 2013 #29

I consider marriage an outdated institution LadyHawkAZ May 2013 #32

Decreasingly, is there a reason for long-term partnered people to actually get married? Chan790 May 2013 #34

Please see post #59 and share your thoughts. IdaBriggs May 2013 #60

This from a happily divorced woman: Emotional marriage is unstable, and financial marriage lindysalsagal May 2013 #35

Good straight talk, I appreciate it myself. 1-Old-Man May 2013 #46

Interesting thoughts. Debt and financial responsibility IdaBriggs May 2013 #57

well, your own post might contain a clue galileoreloaded May 2013 #37

Truthfully, when entering a partnership, I think both folks need to look at -- IdaBriggs May 2013 #40

Ida, you say in your post: Squinch May 2013 #38

For me, there was an emotional security that came with that commitment. IdaBriggs May 2013 #41

But it doesn't REALLY give any emotional security either. Squinch May 2013 #43

I wouldn't say very few. A marriage has just as good a chance to work as it does not to. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #48

But PS Squinch May 2013 #44

Some couples marry; some couples don't. MineralMan May 2013 #39

I like much of what you said. This is a nosy post about why. IdaBriggs May 2013 #42

It's sex for money (Or something else) Uzair May 2013 #45

None of those options describe my marriage. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #49

quite possible, but its still transactional. nt galileoreloaded May 2013 #52

It's called being human. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #53

im not trying to be cynical and sorry if it came over that way galileoreloaded May 2013 #55

not if you have an honest conversation about both the good and the bad. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #58

Yep. And I would say the opposite about 'emotionally stunted' DebJ Jun 2013 #78

Respectfully, I disagree. IdaBriggs May 2013 #54

And then there are all the jokes, based quite a bit in reality, DebJ Jun 2013 #77

Mu Loving Wuife and I have been married now for 28 years. oneshooter May 2013 #47

there is just something special about being in a long term relationship or marriage that unless liberal_at_heart May 2013 #50

Maybe you just summed it all up very well. DebJ Jun 2013 #79

I've sworn off marriage Autumn Colors May 2013 #51

"Once burned" camp, eh? Sympathy! IdaBriggs May 2013 #63

Marriage means taking on each others financial liabilities & debt. CottonBear May 2013 #56

I hate when people take financial advantage of others. IdaBriggs May 2013 #61

I'm sorry you went through that. I understand why you wouldn't want to get married again, but liberal_at_heart May 2013 #62

My husband and I have a new song. "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake. liberal_at_heart May 2013 #66

I want to secure my girlfriend's future, that's part of why I proposed LittleBlue May 2013 #67

Congratulations LittleBlue! liberal_at_heart May 2013 #68

Thanks LittleBlue May 2013 #69

Dr. Willard Harley describes three types of romantic relationships. Laelth Jun 2013 #73

That's great! Thanks for posting. n/t DebJ Jun 2013 #80

Marriage has outlived its usefulness Major Nikon Jun 2013 #76

No interest in marriage... PasadenaTrudy Jun 2013 #82

about ten years for my wife and i madrchsod Jun 2013 #84

"It's Complicated", unless you're our parents, then it is really, really clear. Sen. Walter Sobchak Jun 2013 #88

If were to have either, I'd prefer marriage mythology Jun 2013 #89