General Discussion

LongTomH

(8,636 posts) Wed Jun 5, 2013, 03:21 PM Jun 2013

OK, so why DO men frequent prostitutes? [View all]

There are a few "threads that will not die," on the subject of prostitution, currently running on GD. In one of them, a poster defends both the prostitute and the john by saying that men visit prostitutes when "their wives are too tired for sex." I really don't buy that; it helps maintain the meme that men "must have sex," which has been the justification for too many abuses.

The questions remains: Why? Is it control over a woman? I'm certain there has been research on this subject.

A related question: Why is Hollywood seemingly obsessed with prostitution? Pretty Woman is just one example. Use 'prostitute' as a search term on the Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB), and you'll get a list of 3,129 titles.

I know prostitution has been pretty well ubiquitous in history; but, I still think Hollywood has a hangup with the subject. Maybe the fact that the studios are run by rich, aging males is the major factor.

224 replies

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OK, so why DO men frequent prostitutes? [View all] LongTomH Jun 2013 OP

There are probably as many reasons as there are men who go to prostitutes Lucinda Jun 2013 #1

and some to do stuff to a woman that his wife or mistress would never allow. Whisp Jun 2013 #5

...or to have stuff done to them... brooklynite Jun 2013 #19

no, doesn't work both ways. Whisp Jun 2013 #57

I think the reference was to the guy in the bottom of the bathtub Warpy Jun 2013 #158

Yup. It does! n/t Lucinda Jun 2013 #76

Per Live Science: Interesting article why Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #119

And as many reasons why women or men become prostitutes marshall Jun 2013 #191

Prostitutes, cops, doctors, lawyers. Hollywood has a lot of hangups. randome Jun 2013 #2

sex arely staircase Jun 2013 #3

Sex, personal attention and to spend money. The Wielding Truth Jun 2013 #107

They want control, to be gratified without needing to take geek tragedy Jun 2013 #4

Nah. sibelian Jun 2013 #17

Money is the instrument of control, nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #22

Yes. sibelian Jun 2013 #24

The pimp, the cop, the local drug dealer, the hotel operator. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #25

Nevada and lots of other legal setup have equitable arrangements Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #123

Equitable treatment of employees has very little bearing on geek tragedy Jun 2013 #125

It does, if your trying to keep popular talent. Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #127

'talent' oy nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #130

Not sure what else to call it. Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #133

I prefer "women" nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #143

Don't people who engage in one night stands, for the most part, do the same thing? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #26

Where both people are doing it for the same reason, meh. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #27

A positive word for one-night stands... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #58

it's not the same thing at all, there are women who enjoy sex with different guys JI7 Jun 2013 #45

But I thought we're supposed to be outraged that humans use and control one another? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #53

what are you talking about ? why don't women pay men to have sex ? it's the same thing isn't it ? JI7 Jun 2013 #55

It's not just the men who buy sex.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #181

I would bet that there are women who pay for sex. HappyMe Jun 2013 #182

Some buy power. Quantess Jun 2013 #6

There's not one universal reason LadyHawkAZ Jun 2013 #7

You'd have to ask the individual john loose wheel Jun 2013 #8

Sex is fun? bowens43 Jun 2013 #9

Not according to some. n/t Inkfreak Jun 2013 #32

They want something to stick their dick into. Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #10

You and the Tragic Geek make a nice tag-team. Comrade Grumpy Jun 2013 #11

It's because we know what we're talking about. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #13

I really think you just don't get it. sibelian Jun 2013 #15

No, I do get it. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #18

+1 n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #162

If it were only about .... opiate69 Jun 2013 #31

I know a couple of escorts zappaman Jun 2013 #12

It couldn't be about connection, even it was in just a small number of cases The2ndWheel Jun 2013 #28

I disagree. zappaman Jun 2013 #41

I was agreeing with you The2ndWheel Jun 2013 #49

My bad! zappaman Jun 2013 #52

So that someone will be nice to them. sibelian Jun 2013 #14

True, too. aquart Jun 2013 #136

There are a lot of PEOPLE LWolf Jun 2013 #195

True that. I wonder if it's about our society. Maybe that's one reason we love our pets so much. raccoon Jun 2013 #197

to have sex Douglas Carpenter Jun 2013 #16

"certain age period" geek tragedy Jun 2013 #20

So what? HappyMe Jun 2013 #184

I agree, so what? notadmblnd Jun 2013 #188

Naive. As though normal sexual behavior were simple and only about getting off? Quantess Jun 2013 #33

IIRC, during the Heidi Floss "scandal" involving high-paid Hollywood actors... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #65

Why is it so awful to have "strings attached" treestar Jun 2013 #206

For sex, for a little companionship.... HappyMe Jun 2013 #21

A combination of fun and loneliness. Xithras Jun 2013 #23

As part of my job, I have read plenty of PD reports busting prostitutes. Sheepshank Jun 2013 #29

because treating women like human beings is too difficult Skittles Jun 2013 #30

but there are male prostitutes as well. (no text) Quantess Jun 2013 #35

Because treating people they Tien1985 Jun 2013 #77

Yes, that is the #1 factor. Quantess Jun 2013 #88

I read recently Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #34

and they like having you around Skittles Jun 2013 #37

I hope so. Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #38

Mrs.Bill has got herself a winner!! Skittles Jun 2013 #40

Thank you for your kind words. n/t Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #42

Women get prostitutes too, you know. LuvNewcastle Jun 2013 #36

The comparison to drugs, alcohol & gambling is accurate IMO marions ghost Jun 2013 #54

"Haitian Divorce," on the Steely Dan Album "Royal Scam" comes to mind... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #82

Right. It's all just like "Pretty Woman." Squinch Jun 2013 #100

Honestly, it ain't none of my freaking business. Inkfreak Jun 2013 #39

Because some men want sex and aren't getting it anywhere else. Apophis Jun 2013 #43

All explained here PD Turk Jun 2013 #44

I wouldn't do for several reasons but the main one is: I doubt that I could get turned on. BlueJazz Jun 2013 #46

I'm sure "various" is the correct answer marions ghost Jun 2013 #47

Because men need sex Uzair Jun 2013 #48

It is an outright lie to say that men need to be sexually serviced geek tragedy Jun 2013 #62

It really is just one thin hair away from rape, isn't it? Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #66

This is the one who says all the men he knows buy sexual services geek tragedy Jun 2013 #67

Oh yeah, I've been following his exploits the past couple of days. Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #81

I wonder how many men have died from "lack of being sexually serviced geek tragedy Jun 2013 #84

Self-absorbed and entitled Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #87

I wonder if he knows Saxby Chambliss. nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #90

Heh Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #91

+1000000.. darkangel218 Jun 2013 #111

... and masturbation is not an option? surrealAmerican Jun 2013 #89

According to what biological mechanisms do men need sex? RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #92

It's a psychological mechanism. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #164

So there isn't one? RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #166

Not that I'm aware of, nor did the poster you replied to suggest there was. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #168

I did not raise a straw man. RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #169

"need" = will suffer harm without it. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #171

I read it as a physical need. RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #172

Men and women both need intimacy. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #174

Women need sex too BainsBane Jun 2013 #94

The monetary value of sex from men is near zero. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #99

That's aside from the point BainsBane Jun 2013 #101

No it's not. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #115

There are male escorts with female client bases BainsBane Jun 2013 #121

not even then. Sure, it's something most people really want geek tragedy Jun 2013 #102

Well, touch is a need BainsBane Jun 2013 #104

Well, obviously, treating women like human beings instead of geek tragedy Jun 2013 #106

Yes, treating women like human beings BainsBane Jun 2013 #109

Not gonna get into that last part, but geek tragedy Jun 2013 #110

Yes, intimacy is a need. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #117

Post removed Post removed Jun 2013 #118

You assume women don't need intimacy? BainsBane Jun 2013 #134

I'm pretty sure that most women need intimacy. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #140

Perhaps you should read your own post BainsBane Jun 2013 #144

The poster was asserting that men don't need sex. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #147

What kind of intimacy are men seeking when they geek tragedy Jun 2013 #151

a) I don't know, you'd have to ask them. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #156

Generally, intimacy generates intimacy. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #157

If she looks over your shoulder at piles of dirty laundry... good luck with that. n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #160

Post removed Post removed Jun 2013 #129

I live in a world where sex is something that is shared between two human beings, geek tragedy Jun 2013 #139

Well said BainsBane Jun 2013 #149

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that it's usually to get laid. 11 Bravo Jun 2013 #50

no it must be more complicated than that, this is du arely staircase Jun 2013 #68

in my experience, women control access to sex, and men control access to commitment. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #51

Well said. Bonobo Jun 2013 #192

I was in Costa Rica in April JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #56

Manuel Antonio or Jaco? geek tragedy Jun 2013 #60

No JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #63

Oh, that's unfortunate. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #64

We were in Gaia JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #69

Our favorite lodge in Costa Rica has this in their guest policy geek tragedy Jun 2013 #74

That's Lovely! JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #79

Beautiful place, too. Sigh. nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #80

I am amazed at how ...what word sounds polite? Quantess Jun 2013 #59

You don't have to be polite.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #61

That was NOT my point at all. Quantess Jun 2013 #71

Are you sure you didn't eat sushi from a gas station mini mart? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #179

Getting back to my point that YOU responded to... Quantess Jun 2013 #186

Could it be that they want sex but don't have a willing partner? Nye Bevan Jun 2013 #70

no you are underthinking it arely staircase Jun 2013 #73

Yes, they want the sex without the part about geek tragedy Jun 2013 #75

Or they want a willing wife and a concubine? marions ghost Jun 2013 #78

Many if not most are married. BainsBane Jun 2013 #97

Not necessarily incompatible with "no willing partner". Nye Bevan Jun 2013 #122

That would relate to my other posts in this thread. BainsBane Jun 2013 #131

Sex for money. Rex Jun 2013 #72

I never had a problem finding someone Puzzledtraveller Jun 2013 #83

Power Rex Jun 2013 #85

Agreed, fueled by massive insecurity Puzzledtraveller Jun 2013 #86

^^^^^^winner!^^^^^^ Squinch Jun 2013 #105

Coming at this from both sides TexasPaganDem Jun 2013 #93

I didn't know that it was a secret that a lot of guys still would like to have sex… MrScorpio Jun 2013 #95

Except many are married. BainsBane Jun 2013 #114

Well, those would be guys who want to have sex with women other than their wives MrScorpio Jun 2013 #137

No, I guess the difference is that some have affairs BainsBane Jun 2013 #141

You keep repeating that as if it somehow contradicts the assertion that Warren Stupidity Jun 2013 #194

It contradicts the idea that's the only way they can have sex BainsBane Jun 2013 #199

Because. ScreamingMeemie Jun 2013 #96

I have a psychiatrist friend who lived at the Mustang Ranch for several months. nolabear Jun 2013 #98

To get to the other side of the road? still_one Jun 2013 #103

To achieve the kind of sexual intimacy..many of us take for granted.. Upton Jun 2013 #108

As far as Hollywood, its because many screenwriters are lazy or unimaginative, and Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #112

Supply and demand. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #113

If one views sexual intimacy as a mere commodity like soy beans, a valid analysis. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #124

It's not merely a commodity. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #126

Currency is fungible and a universal mode of exchange. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #128

Things and services need not be fungible or universal to have monetary value. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #135

Prostitution provides variety but not intimacy. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #142

I don't think that's true. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #146

Ah yes, that craigslist intimacy service. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #148

Marriage is alignment of motives. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #154

"transparency and lack of pretense" meaning that they don't have to geek tragedy Jun 2013 #155

Neither of us have a clue about what being a prostitute or her client is like. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #159

And can you guys disagree about matters of substance or philosophy without making it personal? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #215

Point of Order: Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #214

Me either. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #216

Yeah, why not just schedule a root canal while you're at it? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #217

I know lots of men that do not frequent prostitutes The Second Stone Jun 2013 #116

Because they want to get sex easier. Jamaal510 Jun 2013 #120

Well, it doesn't require any skill, does it? aquart Jun 2013 #132

To get a deal on discounted Zumba lessons? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #138

never had the desire sad-cafe Jun 2013 #145

Because they're such good conversationalists. cherokeeprogressive Jun 2013 #150

In my entire life, I've never known anyone who has talked about visiting prostitutes bhikkhu Jun 2013 #152

seems straightforward Shivering Jemmy Jun 2013 #153

Sex? Yo_Mama Jun 2013 #161

hollywood? shakespeare wrote plenty about them. even pygmalion was originally a prostitute. unblock Jun 2013 #163

Some people just want sex but not a relationship and aren't able to arrange that any other way. craigmatic Jun 2013 #165

Mostly because- ruffburr Jun 2013 #167

"They aren't paid for sex; they're paid to leave." WinkyDink Jun 2013 #170

Many reasons. Notafraidtoo Jun 2013 #173

Therapy. jazzimov Jun 2013 #175

can someone supply me with the DU calender? Sissyk Jun 2013 #176

It is hot this time of year Harmony Blue Jun 2013 #177

Lol! Sissyk Jun 2013 #178

You mean this one? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #189

Definitely needs updating BainsBane Jun 2013 #190

Ah, everyone's a critic. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #200

Everyone passing judgment BainsBane Jun 2013 #203

You have no idea. Wear a helmet if you get into one of those- Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #204

Speaking of circumcision BainsBane Jun 2013 #207

Doesn't explain what happened to Rush, tho. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #211

He looks okay to me BainsBane Jun 2013 #221

Yellow-Bellied Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #223

That's it! Sissyk Jun 2013 #193

You need to change June to impeachment month BainsBane Jun 2013 #222

Sandwiches demwing Jun 2013 #180

Sex. In_The_Wind Jun 2013 #183

Maybe it's the same reason why some women do Yavin4 Jun 2013 #185

sex? loneliness? because they can? La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #187

what men and how frequent? spanone Jun 2013 #196

A john on a TV show, 60 Minutes or something, said that people he was sexually attracted to were not raccoon Jun 2013 #198

I'm taking a stab at this... WCGreen Jun 2013 #201

Just for the heck of it I'll throw in my 2 cents. defacto7 Jun 2013 #202

I don't know treestar Jun 2013 #205

Loneliness LittleBlue Jun 2013 #208

To me, they're losers. alarimer Jun 2013 #209

Oh, I don't know; that seems pretty heartless. Some men just aren't going to attract women on their WinkyDink Jun 2013 #212

Social interaction and sparkling conversation. Or sex. nt bike man Jun 2013 #210

I would say for a married man who wants to cheat on his wife, it's Cleita Jun 2013 #213

Merely being single Art_from_Ark Jun 2013 #224

Why do people drink? Why do people smoke dope? Why do people ski? Yavin4 Jun 2013 #218

Gender roles and social expectations YoungDemCA Jun 2013 #219

mostly for sex Coyotl Jun 2013 #220