General Discussion

Douglas Carpenter

(20,226 posts)

16. to have sex

Wed Jun 5, 2013, 04:04 PM

Jun 2013

It's really not that complicated. This simplistic seventh grade interpretation of popular psychology about it being all about power and control ignores the basic reality that male humans especially during a certain age period of their lives are frequently confronted with a strong biological urge for sex while access to sex or at least uncomplicated sex with someone they actually feel attracted to can be very limited.

Now why would someone who is young, rich and handsome frequent prostitutes - that I don't know - except to suggest that some people want a completely no strings attached sexual liaison that satisfies a particular need. But for the person who is neither young, rich or handsome - getting laid with someone who is young and attractive is simply not that easy and may not even be probable. Prostitution makes it very probable and relatively easy

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OK, so why DO men frequent prostitutes? [View all] LongTomH Jun 2013 OP

There are probably as many reasons as there are men who go to prostitutes Lucinda Jun 2013 #1

and some to do stuff to a woman that his wife or mistress would never allow. Whisp Jun 2013 #5

...or to have stuff done to them... brooklynite Jun 2013 #19

no, doesn't work both ways. Whisp Jun 2013 #57

I think the reference was to the guy in the bottom of the bathtub Warpy Jun 2013 #158

Yup. It does! n/t Lucinda Jun 2013 #76

Per Live Science: Interesting article why Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #119

And as many reasons why women or men become prostitutes marshall Jun 2013 #191

Prostitutes, cops, doctors, lawyers. Hollywood has a lot of hangups. randome Jun 2013 #2

sex arely staircase Jun 2013 #3

Sex, personal attention and to spend money. The Wielding Truth Jun 2013 #107

They want control, to be gratified without needing to take geek tragedy Jun 2013 #4

Nah. sibelian Jun 2013 #17

Money is the instrument of control, nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #22

Yes. sibelian Jun 2013 #24

The pimp, the cop, the local drug dealer, the hotel operator. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #25

Nevada and lots of other legal setup have equitable arrangements Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #123

Equitable treatment of employees has very little bearing on geek tragedy Jun 2013 #125

It does, if your trying to keep popular talent. Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #127

'talent' oy nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #130

Not sure what else to call it. Katashi_itto Jun 2013 #133

I prefer "women" nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #143

Don't people who engage in one night stands, for the most part, do the same thing? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #26

Where both people are doing it for the same reason, meh. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #27

A positive word for one-night stands... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #58

it's not the same thing at all, there are women who enjoy sex with different guys JI7 Jun 2013 #45

But I thought we're supposed to be outraged that humans use and control one another? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #53

what are you talking about ? why don't women pay men to have sex ? it's the same thing isn't it ? JI7 Jun 2013 #55

It's not just the men who buy sex.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #181

I would bet that there are women who pay for sex. HappyMe Jun 2013 #182

Some buy power. Quantess Jun 2013 #6

There's not one universal reason LadyHawkAZ Jun 2013 #7

You'd have to ask the individual john loose wheel Jun 2013 #8

Sex is fun? bowens43 Jun 2013 #9

Not according to some. n/t Inkfreak Jun 2013 #32

They want something to stick their dick into. Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #10

You and the Tragic Geek make a nice tag-team. Comrade Grumpy Jun 2013 #11

It's because we know what we're talking about. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #13

I really think you just don't get it. sibelian Jun 2013 #15

No, I do get it. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #18

+1 n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #162

If it were only about .... opiate69 Jun 2013 #31

I know a couple of escorts zappaman Jun 2013 #12

It couldn't be about connection, even it was in just a small number of cases The2ndWheel Jun 2013 #28

I disagree. zappaman Jun 2013 #41

I was agreeing with you The2ndWheel Jun 2013 #49

My bad! zappaman Jun 2013 #52

So that someone will be nice to them. sibelian Jun 2013 #14

True, too. aquart Jun 2013 #136

There are a lot of PEOPLE LWolf Jun 2013 #195

True that. I wonder if it's about our society. Maybe that's one reason we love our pets so much. raccoon Jun 2013 #197

to have sex Douglas Carpenter Jun 2013 #16

"certain age period" geek tragedy Jun 2013 #20

So what? HappyMe Jun 2013 #184

I agree, so what? notadmblnd Jun 2013 #188

Naive. As though normal sexual behavior were simple and only about getting off? Quantess Jun 2013 #33

IIRC, during the Heidi Floss "scandal" involving high-paid Hollywood actors... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #65

Why is it so awful to have "strings attached" treestar Jun 2013 #206

For sex, for a little companionship.... HappyMe Jun 2013 #21

A combination of fun and loneliness. Xithras Jun 2013 #23

As part of my job, I have read plenty of PD reports busting prostitutes. Sheepshank Jun 2013 #29

because treating women like human beings is too difficult Skittles Jun 2013 #30

but there are male prostitutes as well. (no text) Quantess Jun 2013 #35

Because treating people they Tien1985 Jun 2013 #77

Yes, that is the #1 factor. Quantess Jun 2013 #88

I read recently Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #34

and they like having you around Skittles Jun 2013 #37

I hope so. Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #38

Mrs.Bill has got herself a winner!! Skittles Jun 2013 #40

Thank you for your kind words. n/t Mr.Bill Jun 2013 #42

Women get prostitutes too, you know. LuvNewcastle Jun 2013 #36

The comparison to drugs, alcohol & gambling is accurate IMO marions ghost Jun 2013 #54

"Haitian Divorce," on the Steely Dan Album "Royal Scam" comes to mind... Eleanors38 Jun 2013 #82

Right. It's all just like "Pretty Woman." Squinch Jun 2013 #100

Honestly, it ain't none of my freaking business. Inkfreak Jun 2013 #39

Because some men want sex and aren't getting it anywhere else. Apophis Jun 2013 #43

All explained here PD Turk Jun 2013 #44

I wouldn't do for several reasons but the main one is: I doubt that I could get turned on. BlueJazz Jun 2013 #46

I'm sure "various" is the correct answer marions ghost Jun 2013 #47

Because men need sex Uzair Jun 2013 #48

It is an outright lie to say that men need to be sexually serviced geek tragedy Jun 2013 #62

It really is just one thin hair away from rape, isn't it? Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #66

This is the one who says all the men he knows buy sexual services geek tragedy Jun 2013 #67

Oh yeah, I've been following his exploits the past couple of days. Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #81

I wonder how many men have died from "lack of being sexually serviced geek tragedy Jun 2013 #84

Self-absorbed and entitled Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #87

I wonder if he knows Saxby Chambliss. nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #90

Heh Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #91

+1000000.. darkangel218 Jun 2013 #111

... and masturbation is not an option? surrealAmerican Jun 2013 #89

According to what biological mechanisms do men need sex? RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #92

It's a psychological mechanism. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #164

So there isn't one? RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #166

Not that I'm aware of, nor did the poster you replied to suggest there was. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #168

I did not raise a straw man. RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #169

"need" = will suffer harm without it. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #171

I read it as a physical need. RedCappedBandit Jun 2013 #172

Men and women both need intimacy. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #174

Women need sex too BainsBane Jun 2013 #94

The monetary value of sex from men is near zero. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #99

That's aside from the point BainsBane Jun 2013 #101

No it's not. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #115

There are male escorts with female client bases BainsBane Jun 2013 #121

not even then. Sure, it's something most people really want geek tragedy Jun 2013 #102

Well, touch is a need BainsBane Jun 2013 #104

Well, obviously, treating women like human beings instead of geek tragedy Jun 2013 #106

Yes, treating women like human beings BainsBane Jun 2013 #109

Not gonna get into that last part, but geek tragedy Jun 2013 #110

Yes, intimacy is a need. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #117

Post removed Post removed Jun 2013 #118

You assume women don't need intimacy? BainsBane Jun 2013 #134

I'm pretty sure that most women need intimacy. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #140

Perhaps you should read your own post BainsBane Jun 2013 #144

The poster was asserting that men don't need sex. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #147

What kind of intimacy are men seeking when they geek tragedy Jun 2013 #151

a) I don't know, you'd have to ask them. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #156

Generally, intimacy generates intimacy. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #157

If she looks over your shoulder at piles of dirty laundry... good luck with that. n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #160

Post removed Post removed Jun 2013 #129

I live in a world where sex is something that is shared between two human beings, geek tragedy Jun 2013 #139

Well said BainsBane Jun 2013 #149

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that it's usually to get laid. 11 Bravo Jun 2013 #50

no it must be more complicated than that, this is du arely staircase Jun 2013 #68

in my experience, women control access to sex, and men control access to commitment. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #51

Well said. Bonobo Jun 2013 #192

I was in Costa Rica in April JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #56

Manuel Antonio or Jaco? geek tragedy Jun 2013 #60

No JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #63

Oh, that's unfortunate. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #64

We were in Gaia JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #69

Our favorite lodge in Costa Rica has this in their guest policy geek tragedy Jun 2013 #74

That's Lovely! JustAnotherGen Jun 2013 #79

Beautiful place, too. Sigh. nt geek tragedy Jun 2013 #80

I am amazed at how ...what word sounds polite? Quantess Jun 2013 #59

You don't have to be polite.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #61

That was NOT my point at all. Quantess Jun 2013 #71

Are you sure you didn't eat sushi from a gas station mini mart? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jun 2013 #179

Getting back to my point that YOU responded to... Quantess Jun 2013 #186

Could it be that they want sex but don't have a willing partner? Nye Bevan Jun 2013 #70

no you are underthinking it arely staircase Jun 2013 #73

Yes, they want the sex without the part about geek tragedy Jun 2013 #75

Or they want a willing wife and a concubine? marions ghost Jun 2013 #78

Many if not most are married. BainsBane Jun 2013 #97

Not necessarily incompatible with "no willing partner". Nye Bevan Jun 2013 #122

That would relate to my other posts in this thread. BainsBane Jun 2013 #131

Sex for money. Rex Jun 2013 #72

I never had a problem finding someone Puzzledtraveller Jun 2013 #83

Power Rex Jun 2013 #85

Agreed, fueled by massive insecurity Puzzledtraveller Jun 2013 #86

^^^^^^winner!^^^^^^ Squinch Jun 2013 #105

Coming at this from both sides TexasPaganDem Jun 2013 #93

I didn't know that it was a secret that a lot of guys still would like to have sex… MrScorpio Jun 2013 #95

Except many are married. BainsBane Jun 2013 #114

Well, those would be guys who want to have sex with women other than their wives MrScorpio Jun 2013 #137

No, I guess the difference is that some have affairs BainsBane Jun 2013 #141

You keep repeating that as if it somehow contradicts the assertion that Warren Stupidity Jun 2013 #194

It contradicts the idea that's the only way they can have sex BainsBane Jun 2013 #199

Because. ScreamingMeemie Jun 2013 #96

I have a psychiatrist friend who lived at the Mustang Ranch for several months. nolabear Jun 2013 #98

To get to the other side of the road? still_one Jun 2013 #103

To achieve the kind of sexual intimacy..many of us take for granted.. Upton Jun 2013 #108

As far as Hollywood, its because many screenwriters are lazy or unimaginative, and Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #112

Supply and demand. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #113

If one views sexual intimacy as a mere commodity like soy beans, a valid analysis. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #124

It's not merely a commodity. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #126

Currency is fungible and a universal mode of exchange. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #128

Things and services need not be fungible or universal to have monetary value. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #135

Prostitution provides variety but not intimacy. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #142

I don't think that's true. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #146

Ah yes, that craigslist intimacy service. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #148

Marriage is alignment of motives. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #154

"transparency and lack of pretense" meaning that they don't have to geek tragedy Jun 2013 #155

Neither of us have a clue about what being a prostitute or her client is like. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #159

And can you guys disagree about matters of substance or philosophy without making it personal? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #215

Point of Order: Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #214

Me either. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #216

Yeah, why not just schedule a root canal while you're at it? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #217

I know lots of men that do not frequent prostitutes The Second Stone Jun 2013 #116

Because they want to get sex easier. Jamaal510 Jun 2013 #120

Well, it doesn't require any skill, does it? aquart Jun 2013 #132

To get a deal on discounted Zumba lessons? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #138

never had the desire sad-cafe Jun 2013 #145

Because they're such good conversationalists. cherokeeprogressive Jun 2013 #150

In my entire life, I've never known anyone who has talked about visiting prostitutes bhikkhu Jun 2013 #152

seems straightforward Shivering Jemmy Jun 2013 #153

Sex? Yo_Mama Jun 2013 #161

hollywood? shakespeare wrote plenty about them. even pygmalion was originally a prostitute. unblock Jun 2013 #163

Some people just want sex but not a relationship and aren't able to arrange that any other way. craigmatic Jun 2013 #165

Mostly because- ruffburr Jun 2013 #167

"They aren't paid for sex; they're paid to leave." WinkyDink Jun 2013 #170

Many reasons. Notafraidtoo Jun 2013 #173

Therapy. jazzimov Jun 2013 #175

can someone supply me with the DU calender? Sissyk Jun 2013 #176

It is hot this time of year Harmony Blue Jun 2013 #177

Lol! Sissyk Jun 2013 #178

You mean this one? Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #189

Definitely needs updating BainsBane Jun 2013 #190

Ah, everyone's a critic. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #200

Everyone passing judgment BainsBane Jun 2013 #203

You have no idea. Wear a helmet if you get into one of those- Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #204

Speaking of circumcision BainsBane Jun 2013 #207

Doesn't explain what happened to Rush, tho. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #211

He looks okay to me BainsBane Jun 2013 #221

Yellow-Bellied Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #223

That's it! Sissyk Jun 2013 #193

You need to change June to impeachment month BainsBane Jun 2013 #222

Sandwiches demwing Jun 2013 #180

Sex. In_The_Wind Jun 2013 #183

Maybe it's the same reason why some women do Yavin4 Jun 2013 #185

sex? loneliness? because they can? La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #187

what men and how frequent? spanone Jun 2013 #196

A john on a TV show, 60 Minutes or something, said that people he was sexually attracted to were not raccoon Jun 2013 #198

I'm taking a stab at this... WCGreen Jun 2013 #201

Just for the heck of it I'll throw in my 2 cents. defacto7 Jun 2013 #202

I don't know treestar Jun 2013 #205

Loneliness LittleBlue Jun 2013 #208

To me, they're losers. alarimer Jun 2013 #209

Oh, I don't know; that seems pretty heartless. Some men just aren't going to attract women on their WinkyDink Jun 2013 #212

Social interaction and sparkling conversation. Or sex. nt bike man Jun 2013 #210

I would say for a married man who wants to cheat on his wife, it's Cleita Jun 2013 #213

Merely being single Art_from_Ark Jun 2013 #224

Why do people drink? Why do people smoke dope? Why do people ski? Yavin4 Jun 2013 #218

Gender roles and social expectations YoungDemCA Jun 2013 #219

mostly for sex Coyotl Jun 2013 #220