OK. I've had about as much as I can stand living in DC

[Chan790]

38. Those sorts of things happen everywhere in DC though.

My favorite story ever about car theft was my senior year of college. My friend Matt had bought this beater car for $50 in mid-winter just for traversing the 10 blocks to campus and getting home from his bartending job that ended after the Metro closed. The car was repaired precisely to the point where it would pass DC inspection and no further. I mean this thing had one working door and no windows other than the windshield. The color was listed as black because the replacement hood was black and the rest of the car was bondo gray and rust. The heat didn't work, the A/C didn't work, it smelled like someone had used it for a bathroom, it had a driver's seat and 3 milk crates. The engine ran beautifully though and the entire drive-train probably would have lasted another 100K. Matt had gotten exactly $50 worth of car by my estimation. By April, Matt had had enough of this car and enough money saved up to buy something less horrific.

We're sitting in his living room in early spring along with his roommates playing Madden when one of his roommates says "Hey Matt, there's some neighborhood kids hanging about your car."
"Yeah. Okay."

A few minutes later.

"Matt, those kids are in your car."

Matt gets up in a hurry rushing to get outside and the other roommate says "Dude, you don't know. They could be armed." (Surf bum too. Read it again in a Keanu Reeves voice. )

Matt says "I'm not stopping them. I'm offering them the keys if they promise not to bring it back and let me get my personal shit out of it first."