A truly FRIGHTENING post on DU today...."10 things to know about Snowden".

[noamnety]

55. A list of important things I need to know about my whistle blowers

1. Do they have boxes in their garage? I don't know about you all, but I find it hard to trust a whistle blower who doesn't fully unpack from their last move. It shows a lack of commitment to their home, their community - and their country. People with boxes in their garage are bad patriots.

2. Do they have a facebook page? You know, so many problems could be resolved if people just took their grievances to facebook. (I learned that from teaching teenagers.)

3. Do they like stickers? Stickers on laptops, cars, and windows are passive aggressive attention-getting ploys for people who don't feel they have enough of a voice (perhaps because they don't have a facebook page???). Stickerlovers are defacers of property. Sure it's their own property, but if they can't even respect their own things, how are we supposed to trust them with national secrets?

4. Are they friendly with their neighbors? Do they bring them muffins, or extra zucchini from their garden? Or are they muffin hoarders? I mean, fuck muffin hoarders. Am I right?

5. What about their girlfriends? I know I'm not alone here - how are we to form an opinion on national security issues without knowing if our whistle blowers' girlfriends are ballet dancers? Isn't ballet kinda french?

6. Do they have a high school diploma? If not, they probably didn't play football or go to prom and that sounds downright unamerican to me. You know who else didn't have a high school diploma? Richard Carmona, the former Surgeon General - another whistle blower. I see a pattern here!

7. Did neighbors see him checking his mail? What was he checking for and why was he getting so much mail? Was it letters from China? I bet it was!