They're recording all my calls. I know it's true. [View all]

[MineralMan]

They're even calling me to record calls. Recently, I keep getting calls where the phone rings. I pick it up and say "Hello." There's total silence, and then there's a click and dead air on the phone. I just know it's the spooks setting up my phone for tapping, you know. What else could it possibly be?

It's different from those calls where you answer and there's this long delay, then a click and a woman's voice saying, "This is your second and final call to lower your credit card rates." I know the difference. I do.

The spooks are everywhere. They want to hear me call the local Chinese restaurant to order my pork lo mein and General Tso's Chicken. The woman who answers the phone doesn't even speak English very well. I think the restaurant has outsourced its order taking to China.

Beware of your telephone, folks. It's a nefarious intelligence collection device. Here's what to do:

If you get one of those calls where there's nobody on the line, it's not a robo call that doesn't get picked up. No, it's a super secret phone tapping thingie that will make your phone a microphone so they can record your conversation about which bills to pay this week. I know it must be true. I advise calling 911 immediately and reporting this intrusion on your privacy.