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In reply to the discussion: Why Women Are Bullies At Work [View all]
antigone382
(3,682 posts)139. That's funny...the worst sexism I encountered was a male coworker telling me I didn't belong there.
This was a cook position (ironic that a woman belongs in the kitchen unless she's getting paid to do it). Or there was the boss who groped my breasts and smacked me (at a different workplace), or the one who pretended to hump me behind my back in view of the other workers (I only found out because a female coworker told me)...I'll note that all of this occurred within the last ten years
Going a few years back, there was that time my mother lost out on a job opportunity in the medical field because the boss who was supposed to sign off on her clinicals refused to do so unless she slept with him/gave him a blowjob...
and branching off to high school bullying, the female preponderance of which was all the rage in the "Mean Girls" era to which the article refers, the worst high school bullying I ever experienced was maybe the guy who pinched my ass and lolled his tongue at me in an imitation of oral sex (I should note that I was 5'2" and maybe 110 pounds, while he was at least 6' and about 200 pounds with a full beard). Or there was the guy who slapped my face and told me to suck his dick. Or there was the guy who grabbed my breast. I had some pretty wretched female bullies as well, but none of them ever did anything that touched on what the guys did. So there's some anecdote territory...
Speaking of statistics derived using scientific principles, there is the fact that the research report which this article rather ineptly references finds that overall, 62% of bullies in the workplace are male.
But I am glad to see elsewhere in the thread that you are an unbiased proponent of "equality."
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They're just calling attention to it because they don't want women in power. It is more acceptable
liberal_at_heart
Jun 2013
#1
I dunno. I've worked for both men and women..Give me a man anytime, the women..ugh.
monmouth3
Jun 2013
#3
I've managed and trained both men and women, the guys would kiss my ass, then stab my back- and
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#15
oh, I know it does. but the guys were funny in that they appeared united against me...
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#21
Let's take your statement and substitute any ethnic or gender preference descriptor for "women:"
Squinch
Jun 2013
#150
Many times, women who rise through the ranks have "scores to settle", and may be harsher bosses
SoCalDem
Jun 2013
#4
It does, but there are fewer famales at the top, so they will remain "an intereting subset"
SoCalDem
Jun 2013
#10
So let me get this straight: you recognize that both genders do it, but you felt the
Squinch
Jun 2013
#130
alot of bullying by females is done with a smile and other subtextual communication.
galileoreloaded
Jun 2013
#61
Yes, men have no capacity for deep psychological manipulation of the women in their lives.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#101
The nonprofit for which I volunteered for many years brought me in as director for this reason.
lumberjack_jeff
Jun 2013
#14
the most sexism ive ever encountered in the workplace was essentially matricide
galileoreloaded
Jun 2013
#16
That's funny...the worst sexism I encountered was a male coworker telling me I didn't belong there.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#139
KR. In my experience, women typically behave *way* worse to other women at work than men
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#20
that may be. fact remains, it's women doing most of the targeting. sexual harrassment was a
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#26
No, the stats in the article say men are the bullies almost twice as frequently as women....
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#29
the article doesn't say any such thing. these are the only statistics mentioned:
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#37
Here are the stats from the original research report which bettyellen referenced...
antigone382
Jun 2013
#102
just like you chose not to mention the finding that women are more likely to bully women than
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#148
Actually in other of my posts on this thread, I have discussed that very issue.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#159
Thank you- the stats are fooling people into thinking it;s an epidemic among women- the opposite
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#165
Women do more bullying of women than men do. 80% of their bullying is of other women, and it's
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#174
That 2-point difference between men and women is within the margin of error.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#173
The 80% v. 45% likelihood of targeting women is not, however. Women are overwhelmingly
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#175
you present a theory, which is basically that women are fearful of bullying men because of
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#184
what;s hilarious is the stats say is half as likely a woman bullies at all, and everyone has fooled
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#178
actually what the stats say is that women bully 61% as often as men, but when they do,
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#183
ritght- men bully much more frequently- and women are the most frequent targets who RARELY BULLY MEN
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#187
my posts are full of specific data, like '61%', which you chose to ignore in favor of vague
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#190
men are MORE than 1 1/2 X more likely to bully a person. 61% vs 39 % - Take a math class already!
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#192
If you are using percentages to express liklihood- it would be men are 151% "as likely." You
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#198
you're confused. i said women are 61% as likely as men to bully. think about it.
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#199
nope- they say it;s almost TWICE AS COMMON for a man to bully someone- and that women are bullied
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#167
The report mentioned in the article says the majority of bullying of females is done by other
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#155
and yet that would be statistically 3-4X times less common, LOL. Cool story though!
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#88
so that stats say men are bullies almost twice as frequently as women are. And women bigger victims
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#27
No, - since women are much less often the bullies to begin with: 62% vs 38% women...
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#34
men are doing the VAST majority (almost double) of ALL bullying that occurs. ;-) kind of relevant.
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#45
nope. i just didn't have time to double-check the calculations. i will double check tonight &
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#128
Women tend to hold grudges and vendettas longer, and take them more seriously than men
davidn3600
Jun 2013
#25
Yes. Their experiences with people with scary lady parts. Ahhhhhh! Be afraid!!!!
Squinch
Jun 2013
#125
Can you just imagine how outraged many posting here would be if we substituted any racial or ethnic
Squinch
Jun 2013
#132
Yes...what's funny is that so few respond when you bring up the actual statistics.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#143
Yeah, what's amazing is that the article focuses on female behavior in a *context* of male dominion.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#145
That actually makes me a little misty eyed. Did you ever think you would see anything like that?
Squinch
Jun 2013
#225
I've worked in offices with mostly women and I've worked jobs where I was the only woman in the
Arkansas Granny
Jun 2013
#31
and yet half the thread is convinced by this POS article's headline, LOL. Thanks for the synopsis!
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#38
Same here. And I've had men bosses that were awesome and others that were awful. nt
raccoon
Jun 2013
#68
i want to see the exact behaviors that people are determing is bullying in women
La Lioness Priyanka
Jun 2013
#50
Sexism is fine here at DU- notice the people slobbering over a slanted article like this one like
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#53
"The very notion that you think women are more likely to cheat that men"
galileoreloaded
Jun 2013
#122
I find it amusing that some are making great strides toward validating the OP
Major Nikon
Jun 2013
#218
me too- except so very few dived into the stats enough to understand what biased sexist tripe they
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#180
ha, I alerted on this thread- and one juror said similar (with out the sarcasm)
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#63
I know when I was a manager, only the men were aggrieved by my behavior. They expected autonomy
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#56
yep, it seemed pretty normal at the time. it is incredible how much more productive and pleasant
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#86
Yes, i do. I want to know what exact behaviors are being considered manipulative
La Lioness Priyanka
Jun 2013
#209
Telling tales about me to their boss instead of doing their job, as I had asked them to
Mopar151
Jun 2013
#233
Better title: Both men and women are human beings and capable of being good or being jerks
stevenleser
Jun 2013
#71
while i mostly agree with you, it is also partly that when women behave like male managers
La Lioness Priyanka
Jun 2013
#83
As a female supervisor, I've had a couple of my now ex employees complain about me
Nikia
Jun 2013
#240
What a completely idiotic thread. With all the usual suspects saying completely idiotic things.
Squinch
Jun 2013
#75
It was great, but it was a non-profit, with salaries and wages that were better than
Zorra
Jun 2013
#160
yes, it's about power, in a lot of ways. an in-depth examination of that would be interesting.
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#149
Dunno that the broad inequalities run widely in favor of men these days either. IMO that holds
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#153
i'm not sure i'm understanding you right, you're saying low-level female workers were bullying
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#168
it depends on the family- like the Kennedy's who lobotomized their wild child daughter, Kit, I think
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#171
She didn't control her money. You missed the point. If you control money, it doesn't matter
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#176
You missed the point- no woman in that (and most) families did. You;re rare exception, proves the
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#179
sorry, i can't parse what you said. if you mean most rich women didn't have control of the
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#182
baloney. you're blinded by your preconception, which is that the only way women inherit in a
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#186
I don't think it's accurate to characterize this as a victimization contest.
antigone382
Jun 2013
#170
I think it's accurate. I've worked in female-dominated workplaces most of my working life.
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#181
it;s common is shittier low paying companies where everyone is stressed andt hey hire women because
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#188
actually, it's low-level men whose pay has gone down. low-level women's pay has gone up.
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#189
management is more often all female? is this that Wonder Woman island or something?
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#191
in female dominated workplaces, yes. management is more likely to be female.
HiPointDem
Jun 2013
#194
you keep missing that men are more than 1 1/2 X more likely to be bullies at all. while women pick
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#196
If we're going to decide by anecdote here, I've seen men ruin other men for their own professional
Squinch
Jun 2013
#157
because it's normal/ expected from men. but the work of satan when a woman does it.
bettyellen
Jun 2013
#172
If it's hard to find people who do the work that you do, co-workers tend to be highly grateful--
eridani
Jun 2013
#204
I believe there are many people out there who think that treating others like shit
raccoon
Jun 2013
#206
When a thread talks shit about men-in-general, it's an important/necessary socio-cultural "critique"
Warren DeMontague
Jun 2013
#241