Let's make this clear: responding to your teenage child's words with violence is NOT OKAY.

[renie408]

142. To continue with the hijack..

Riding stoned is most likely NOT going to endanger her or the horse. It isn't a great idea, but as long as its weed, she's probably OK. Not that I think its OK to smoke at her age, but just flat facts, I doubt the weed is going to upset her riding ability. And anecdotal evidence suggests I am right.

God, clients are SO much fun, aren't they?? You guys sound like you are a way bigger deal than us, so I assume you have more/richer/etc clients than we have. They have this weird thing where they almost feel like they own you. You are doing the right thing. I would MAKE her ride. Especially if she loves it and genuinely loves the horses. I haven't had this trouble with my own daughter, but when I was a teenager just about the only thing that kept me sane were my horses.

As for the counselor's comment...pfft. She is her father's daughter. If he is an adrenaline junkie, then she may not have fallen so far from the tree. That might account for a lot of what is going on. You would think the work and the eventing would be enough of an outlet, but maybe not.

Like I said, when we started to get the feeling that the crowd my daughter ran with was getting a little wild for us (best friend pregnancy number TWO was our hint), we pulled her out and started home schooling. The lure I used was riding. This is what she wants to do professionally, so I gave her some colts to break and a really head case OTTB to refurbish. She now teaches some of my itty bitty lessons (she turned sixteen two months ago), cleans ten stalls a day (when times got tough, we had to let go of our help. We have weekenders, but that's it right now), rides three a day and helps with both feedings...PLUS at least two hours of school every day. I know we are not putting as much into school as we should...I have distilled it down to the things we think are REALLY important to getting through adult life. I worry all the time that she doesn't have enough social outlets. but reading stories like yours freak me out enough that I think I am OK with her degree of social life.

She WILL pull around. I know that when you are in the trenches dealing with it every day that is not much consolation, but I have known a lot of troubled teenagers throughout the years. In fact, three of my students from at least twenty years ago, all who had rough patches during teenage years, now board with us. They are all wonderful grown women. Again, not much consolation now, but just keep your chin up.

Good luck!!