Let's make this clear: responding to your teenage child's words with violence is NOT OKAY.

[riderinthestorm]

146. Oh, I hear you about riding stoned.... it's just the "barn chat"

which I studiously try to ignore. I really pondered whether to involve everyone at the barn with our teen drama but decided having EVERYONE watching her to ensure she never did anything stupid/dangerous was for the best. That's provoked some really amazing reactions: hugs, soft whispers of encouragement, more than a couple who've broken down with their own tales of teenage woe....

Like you, I presume, I have a love/hate relationship with our clients. They basically pay us to tell them how wrong they are, daily. And they love us for that as they hate it. Their horse(s) is their child in many cases and they expect us to treat them like that (which we do) but that engenders all sorts of other mixed feelings on their side. All of them are adult amateurs so they struggle with mastering the sport - so they are both overjoyed at their progress and despair at their lack of progress - many days at the barn can be an emotional roller coaster.... but involving them in this drama has been... good for all of us. They know my older girl well of course, and are shocked at my younger girl's craziness in comparison. My older girl is not a natural, she's had to work very, very hard to get to the point she's at in her riding. My boarders and clients know that. Then they watch with deep envy as this young one gets on and is so gifted.... yet obviously troubled. I was turning into a curmudgeon about my clients (maybe I always was) but this stuff with my daughter has changed the dynamic between all of us, for the better. While we still may be the barn/sport/horse experts, they now see that we're also deeply vulnerable.

If my younger girl were going to pursue this as a career, I'd push her harder to home school but one thing's clear, she's got mixed emotions about it. Her need for that death defying adrenaline has been seriously questioned by the counseling staff and has her thinking twice (for the moment) about how best to channel that. In fact, she's taken 2 of our younger horses, that we'd hoped would be her next competitors, to a show this weekend to get them out there for sale. During rehab she told us she'll ride the lovely gray Advanced horse she's doing so well with to the end, however far they get, and then she wants to take a break. Alas. My girls are intensely intellectual. My oldest is a medieval archaeologist! My younger one dances around the idea of being a philosopher! Unbelievable.... But if they wanted to ride like yours, I'd get them through the academics as fast as possible and get them out there teaching, training and competing just like you. There's nothing like real world experience to break into this business successfully.

Besides, there's nothing like a competition as a social outlet! I don't know about the h/j shows but dressage and ct events are one long party....

You are an angel Renie. Your kind words mean a lot. I really hope my girl finds her way through this mess. Each day is a new adventure....

I figure this thread is dying anyway so thought I'd thoroughly hijack it til the end! Peace!