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In reply to the discussion: My dad was a drunk, a staggering lush who alienated every person he knew... [View all]Skidmore
(37,364 posts)add in a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia and periods of psychosis or catatonic states. He was extremely abusive towards us. I have spent my entire adult life trying to sort out how I could extract a wee bit of normalcy from all of that chaos. I finally found it in watching my son-in-law parent my grandchildren in a loving and respectful way. I watch them light up and race to the door when he comes homefrom work. I like that they literally will talk to him about anything and he will listen to them attentively. I love that they have no fear of him even when they know they have been naughty and will be receiving a consequence for their disobedience. I like that he laughs with them. I get a glimpse of what a good father is like and am so happy that our young ones will experience such love and kindness firsthand and not have to grow old and watch it from afar to learn about it. I last saw my father nearly fifty years ago. I did not go to his funeral. I never let my children near him. He had hurt me too many times and in too many ways.