My dad was a drunk, a staggering lush who alienated every person he knew...

[greatlaurel]

48. Parenting is the most difficult human behavior to do really well.

We are all products of our environment, genetics and epigenetics. In my opinion, my parents did a great job, especially considering the horrific tragedies they both experienced throughout their lives. A couple of my siblings are less kind to our parent's legacies, but they also have alcohol problems which prevents them from truly understanding what our parents did for us. The funny thing is the older siblings had a lot more attention and material goods such as swimming lessons, doctor and dentist visits. I was preschool to elementary school when the financial, personal, and health disasters really started rolling through my family. My parents stayed together and supported each other through one nightmare after another; cancer, serious accidents, weird illnesses and major financial setbacks. We became truly impoverished, luckily we lived on a farm we never went hungry. My dad was a wizard with raising plants and animals.

Both my dad's brothers had serious problems with alcohol abuse which lead to much heartbreak. My parents had the strength and wisdom to choose differently. My personal opinion is alcoholism is genetic for many people, but can be acquired by some, not genetically predisposed, if they really work at it.

So many people have terrible memories of their parents who had alcohol problems. The cost to all of us from this dread disease is incalculable for society and families. I honor the memory of my dad, because he had the strength to face all the problems that came his way clear eyed and sober. He was a survivor. No one could fault him for finding release in a bottle. He never did. He taught me to find something to take joy in every day. This could be the love he had for my mother and his children, a good story or joke, or something of beauty in nature.

However, the most important thing he did was he worshiped the ground my mother walked on. That may be his greatest legacy.

My heart goes out to you who do not have good memories of your parents and I hope you can find a little joy everyday to help you in your healing.

Peace.