Let's make this clear: responding to your teenage child's words with violence is NOT OKAY.

[renie408]

182. Every child IS different.

I have two kids. They are totally different people who require very different approaches. I won't bore you with details.

I think it is weird that because I say we have few rules and I mostly just talk to my kids that people think we must not have any discipline. I am pretty sure that my kids are OK with expressing all of their emotions to us. They have been taught from the time they were old enough to start expressing themselves that emotions are OK. It's not the emotions, it's what you do with them. Basically, it is OK for my kid to be angry with me. I have always tolerated the rational expression of anger/disapproval/disagreement. It would not be OK for my kid to yell at me or say ugly things to my face. Or to mumble. God, I really HATE mumbling! But to rationally argue with me, even heatedly, is just fine. They know where the lines are drawn and by now are pretty good at not crossing them. They have to remain civil. I was raised by some strict Southern parents and really don't like rude or uncivil.

I feel sure my daughter thinks I am a big ole bitch sometimes and shares that with her friends. I could not care less. There are times when I think SHE is a bitch and I share that with my friends, so I guess we are even. I figure she is going to need to vent occasionally and kids will show off in front of other kids. I *might* ask her why she thinks I am a bitch or whatever, but probably not even that.

Our approach to parenting has worked for us. We have two great kids with whom we have an unusually close relationship. They respect us as the parents and we respect them as people. That doesn't mean we let them do whatever the hell they feel like. It means that we LISTEN to them when they try to tell us something. And you know what? Sometimes I listen and say, "That's wrong" and explain why. Or I listen and say..."Ok". Listening doesn't imply passive tolerance for everything my kids do.