Xanax and the Rabbit Hole

[EFerrari]

14. I was prescribed Xanax for panic attacks and it changed my whole life.

I think this was before they developed klonopin. Instead of planning everything around avoiding panic attacks, I went back to school, started writing again, camping with my family, flew and drove bridges and mountain roads. It was like a miracle and eventually, the panic disorder resolved.

The down side was that doctors didn't know how to manage it very well. The original doc gave me a huge dose, maybe twice as much as I needed but that's because he was basically inventing the treatment at Stanford as we went along. It was easy to take less and less but going off of it was nearly impossible because you get muscle spasms (ouch), fake anxiety attacks and of course, insomnia. Eventually, I found a doctor who had figured it out but by then, I'd been through six months of hell for no reason. The doctor switched me over first to phenobarbital through the detox, then to a tiny bit of klonopin as needed instead of a regular regime and that worked.

Xanax was the appropriate med at the time and I'm still glad it was available but it's definitely not a drug to fool around with or even, to take under the direction of someone who is less than diligent.