General Discussion

all american girl

(1,788 posts)

254. I just showed the video to my 18 yr old son

Mon Feb 13, 2012, 03:38 PM

Feb 2012

He thought it was funny. I have taken away his phone and taken away my 13 yr old daughter's computer for not doing what they are told. They know I'm serious when I threaten them. Do I think he should have shot the computer...no...he should have made his daughter give it to a family who needs a computer. I think this would be a great lesson. Do I think the dad was abusive...no. I think he was a dad who was sick and tired of his daughter acting like a dork. Teen-agers are an awful like 3 year olds. They whine, say no-alot, and are always challenging the parents authority. We as parents, get mad and do stupid things also. I've yelled at my kids, to only realize that I was the one who was wrong, so I have I'm sorry and give them a hug. Everyone needs to give the dad a break. A kid getting their computer shot at is not abuse...the kid getting a beating, now that is abuse.

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My 15 year old daughters reaction to "Laptop dad" [View all] Mother Of Four Feb 2012 OP

Where I live (Md.), it is definitely against the law Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #1

Way to ignore everything in the post... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #2

Bottom line as far as the law goes. Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #27

What is that law exactly? JSnuffy Feb 2012 #30

Well if you had bothered to read my first post Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #35

In other words... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #43

No you are not correct. He lives in NC. My neighbor got in huge trouble Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #90

I ask again... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #98

Can you comprehend? Reread my original post. Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #104

That's what I thought... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #115

Every county and even city is different. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #102

This message was self-deleted by its author SaintPete Feb 2012 #37

But he was not living in Maryland he was in NC. Drahthaardogs Feb 2012 #57

What do the laws in your state have to do with anything? nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #69

That would be an interesting twist. Cleita Feb 2012 #127

You don't live on the Eastern Shore, do you? 11 Bravo Feb 2012 #187

No. Montgomery County Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #236

Ah, that explains it LibertyLover Feb 2012 #241

Wow, you seem to be saying the county I live in is Communist Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #242

Just repeating the name for Montgomery LibertyLover Feb 2012 #243

Well Tacoma Park--- I can go with you on that one Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #244

pfffft. NYC_SKP Feb 2012 #194

Well, I guess at least a 5$ permit should be required- snooper2 Feb 2012 #228

Your daughter sounds a lot like the daughter of the "Horrible" father. ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #3

Thanks... Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #5

No,that's the asshole dad's version. Swede Feb 2012 #8

so what version of this do you believe? ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #9

Since the daughter has not spoken yet (she's probably terrified) Swede Feb 2012 #13

did you not go to my link that updated the story? ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #14

She thinks the father put a gun to the daughters head... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #17

I think thats what you think... ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #20

Yeah because in abusive families everyone always speaks the truth. Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #46

I can guarantee you, ronnie624 Feb 2012 #64

yeah, that idiot deserves everything he's getting boston bean Feb 2012 #157

A gun would NEVER play any part in a diciplinary lesson for my child. ronnie624 Feb 2012 #214

What if the lesson was how to clean your gun properly after they'd failed to do so? Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #268

That's one I hadn't thought of. ronnie624 Feb 2012 #269

I read the update. ronnie624 Feb 2012 #61

Oh wow, so this is the Screed against the guy- Kind of sad... snooper2 Feb 2012 #229

That asshole father boston bean Feb 2012 #156

The Homer Simpson approach to parenting. onehandle Feb 2012 #4

No kidding. But two teenagers said what their mother wants to hear EFerrari Feb 2012 #7

Again... GMTA, but you don't need your M to be so G for that one. 2ndAmForComputers Feb 2012 #193

LOL EFerrari Feb 2012 #6

How did I say that I don't think what he did was wrong? Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #10

Is your daughter here? EFerrari Feb 2012 #21

No she's not "here" Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #32

I believe I already have. EFerrari Feb 2012 #39

Ok then... Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #40

I made no incorrect assumptions about your OP. EFerrari Feb 2012 #65

Ok whatever... Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #70

It's filtered because she didn't post it, you did. You also wrote it. EFerrari Feb 2012 #95

That is a very important point, I totally agree with that. Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #106

I cannot believe how people can condone what this jerk did. Swede Feb 2012 #11

do you not care what his own daughter thinks? ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #12

That is the asshole dad's version. Swede Feb 2012 #15

hahahaha ok because im sure YOU know the whole situation then, right ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #18

Her dad just shot her computer 8 times. Swede Feb 2012 #19

well if you watched the video you would know it was 9 times... ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #24

Do you know whether they are or not? EFerrari Feb 2012 #34

no but from what I have read, they seem like a typical family that has problems ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #36

"a typical family that has problems" - TBF Feb 2012 #41

and kids can do a lot of stupid shit sometimes trying to prove they are an adult and know ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #42

I raised three children without ever publicly humiliating them on YouTube Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #48

You got physical with them? Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #72

on the other hand almost every parent I know has at some time "gotten physical" with their children, Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #81

Seems like you are much worse that this gentleman. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #84

do you have children? Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #87

Sure. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #91

Yes, he does. And I am the reincarnation of Mario Lanza. nt EFerrari Feb 2012 #132

And you know this how? Puglover Feb 2012 #262

Which base are you referring to? EFerrari Feb 2012 #267

I haven't. TBF Feb 2012 #164

Good for yoU. Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #186

If it's just a one-time thing I wouldn't say abuse I guess - TBF Feb 2012 #188

Children do not process thoughts the same way as we do - TBF Feb 2012 #50

Did you join DU just to defend this guy? siligut Feb 2012 #170

You are so right that we never really know what is happening in other families. EFerrari Feb 2012 #44

shooting a laptop is violent? ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #47

Yes. Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #49

Of course. EFerrari Feb 2012 #60

Thank you. The issue here isn't that the dad is abusive (which I don't think he is), but that he has Puregonzo1188 Feb 2012 #171

His behavior shows up in every index that professionals give women (ETA) EFerrari Feb 2012 #199

Amen! It is ridiculous to defend what he did with the daughter herself treestar Feb 2012 #183

Double amen! Of course the daughter is going to "condone" it after her dad used his gun to show pacalo Feb 2012 #215

You have no idea what his daughter thinks. nt EFerrari Feb 2012 #23

are you one of the people who thinks this will destory her life and she will ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #25

I'm not one of the people who believe this violent asshole's crap, no. EFerrari Feb 2012 #29

oh ok, thanks for clearing that up. ohnoimscared Feb 2012 #33

lol that is just silly - TBF Feb 2012 #51

Do you mean the girl everyone's been touting as a LadyHawkAZ Feb 2012 #71

Foster care would be a good option for her. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #73

Of course!!! Because LadyHawkAZ Feb 2012 #89

I said in another thread, CPS should be out there. EFerrari Feb 2012 #16

Foster care would be a good option for her. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #74

That's okay. In a year or so, that kid will run off EFerrari Feb 2012 #107

Or not. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #109

I agree with you Swede, the guy is a bully and mom isn't any better. siligut Feb 2012 #31

"she must obey or other privileges will be taken away from her" Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #76

When expectations are unreasonable? Yes. siligut Feb 2012 #92

I didn't get that at all and he explains it pretty well in the video. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #94

Parents can figure out what goes on in the mind of a 15 yr old all by themselves. siligut Feb 2012 #108

Yeah as soon as I saw the belt buckle, the hat, and heard the southern drawl I knew what we were Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #110

Please, do not try that with me siligut Feb 2012 #114

My mother once dumped a bucket of ice water on me while i slept when I skipped chores for Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #144

A bucket of ice water can't kill someone. Plus your chores were important. siligut Feb 2012 #160

Neither can shooting a laptop. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #221

Did you even read the excerpt I posted? siligut Feb 2012 #224

Yes, but I do not believe they are equatable. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #226

No, the laptop had to literally die for this girl to get the message... snooper2 Feb 2012 #230

Well, I'm sitting on a horse ranch out in the sticks. EFerrari Feb 2012 #235

Stuff like this is never cut and dry elias7 Feb 2012 #22

Yes, domestic violence is cut and dried. EFerrari Feb 2012 #28

Domestic violence? Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #77

Yes, DV is hilarious. You know, if you take a poll of ten women who have been abused, EFerrari Feb 2012 #99

Taking away any child's toy is DV. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #103

Um, no, it isn't. Sounds like you're laughing at an idea you know zip about. nt EFerrari Feb 2012 #130

I've seen parents take away and even dispose of toys and then have the gall to blame Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #137

Thank you for the illustration. nt EFerrari Feb 2012 #139

Shooting it is treestar Feb 2012 #184

What about parent destroying their own property? Generic Brad Feb 2012 #143

He repeatedly calls it her laptop, are you sure? EFerrari Feb 2012 #151

It is legally her laptop obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #211

Domestic violence? elias7 Feb 2012 #154

The issue in DV is not who owns the property EFerrari Feb 2012 #155

I see. The issue then is whether this is domestic violence or not. elias7 Feb 2012 #208

I put up a chart in #206 that may be more helpful EFerrari Feb 2012 #209

My ex-husband spent 15 days in jail for DV LadyHawkAZ Feb 2012 #174

This was not an emotional outburst, in my view elias7 Feb 2012 #210

He destroyed her property obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #212

Kids thinking they can do whatever they want in this World, living with parents at age 35, bad snooper2 Feb 2012 #231

Sure. Kids have all kinds of magical ideas about how the world works. EFerrari Feb 2012 #234

I think this girl is going to be just fine.... snooper2 Feb 2012 #237

Well, I'm glad the police went out there EFerrari Feb 2012 #238

a file lol snooper2 Feb 2012 #240

Oh yeah, abusive men, they're a real knee slapper. EFerrari Feb 2012 #247

Once scorned - snooper2 Feb 2012 #248

Guns have a tendency to short circuit their rationality. hack89 Feb 2012 #78

Truer words were never spoken. n/t cherokeeprogressive Feb 2012 #145

A sledgehammer would have been just as unacceptable. pacalo Feb 2012 #216

Responsible parents take it away... originalpckelly Feb 2012 #26

Children are a reflection of the world they live in. originalpckelly Feb 2012 #38

Don't you want to know why he left home at fifteen? The Backlash Cometh Feb 2012 #59

LOL EFerrari Feb 2012 #62

Good point. pacalo Feb 2012 #217

i had my 14 and almost 17 yr old sons watch. thank laptop dad for another lessons for boys seabeyond Feb 2012 #45

Thank you for a thoughtful response... Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #52

there was a video of a 17 yr old girl that gave pictures to a BF. when he became an X he put it out seabeyond Feb 2012 #54

The girls and I have watched some news stories about things similar- Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #56

oh... and we all had a good chuckle reading the list of what the child does. you know.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #55

According to some your kids just don't know what they're talking about. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #79

lol, i know. i didnt want to go in and watch with the initial thread. seabeyond Feb 2012 #119

I'm married to an excellent child therapist. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #141

point. for me that is absolutely the point. as opposed to saying seabeyond Feb 2012 #149

sounds like you would have made a Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #150

it is seabeyond Feb 2012 #152

Funny, I asked a few family members what they though of that video. Ikonoklast Feb 2012 #159

She is the most amazing woman I know. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #222

You are SO LUCKY to have a wife like that Yo_Mama Feb 2012 #266

Wow you are all over this...you should have your attorney or cop or therapist friend contact someone snooper2 Feb 2012 #232

Wait, a child therapist thinks it's a real kick to make a video of yourself shooting Liquorice Feb 2012 #258

Thanks for this reality-based post. JohnnyLib2 Feb 2012 #53

That guy just raised the next runaway kid. The Backlash Cometh Feb 2012 #58

She is too lazy and entitled to run away former9thward Feb 2012 #63

We really don't know that. All we know is what she wrote EFerrari Feb 2012 #66

She won't be finding a new place online though. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #82

Are you kidding? He basically dared her to do it. EFerrari Feb 2012 #96

Or maybe not. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #97

Have you ever had a fifteen year old kid in your house? EFerrari Feb 2012 #116

Yes I have. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #138

LOL EFerrari Feb 2012 #140

Hard to access the internet when you're in your room with no computer and no phone. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #142

Father in video likely and stupidly created a lifetime of daughter's resentment brentspeak Feb 2012 #67

Shame is an excellent motivation tool... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #128

In the short term. In the longer term, it can screw up a kid EFerrari Feb 2012 #131

I see a lot of... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #133

Shaming a child habitually is poisonous. EFerrari Feb 2012 #135

Shaming a child laundry_queen Feb 2012 #166

Correct, there is no "net" positive result from publicly humiliating one's child brentspeak Feb 2012 #162

Well... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #169

No, it isn't similar at all. Teenagers are still learning how to how relationships EFerrari Feb 2012 #177

Whatever helps you sleep at night... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #178

Yes, it produces compliant, completely fucked up human beings. nt EFerrari Feb 2012 #180

Except when it doesn't.... JSnuffy Feb 2012 #181

I don't argue evolution with freepers and this is that same conversation EFerrari Feb 2012 #197

No it isn't -- who taught you that??? obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #213

Great post. woofless Feb 2012 #68

My 17 year old had a similar reaction - her criticism was directed at the daughter. nt hack89 Feb 2012 #75

She is trying to please you and make sure you don't get on her ass. boston bean Feb 2012 #161

One would hope so - it has never been a concern of hers before hack89 Feb 2012 #173

I would not take parenting advice from teenagers. The Midway Rebel Feb 2012 #80

I saw a building imploded recently. Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #83

Kewl. The Midway Rebel Feb 2012 #85

No, but the violence was overwhelming. nt Snake Alchemist Feb 2012 #86

Oh. Sort of like "Gun Dad". The Midway Rebel Feb 2012 #88

One thing ProSense Feb 2012 #93

You are a master of profound statements... cherokeeprogressive Feb 2012 #147

Most 15 year olds are impossible and spoiled, at least in suburban America Jennicut Feb 2012 #100

My 15 year old watched it last night with me. Her reaction was very similar. riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #101

Did you point out to your daughter that that video was only one side of the story? EFerrari Feb 2012 #105

Oh its crystal clear since it's only the Dad in the video anyway riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #113

Clear to you or clear to her? EFerrari Feb 2012 #117

Crystal clear to both of us that it was just the Dad's response riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #122

That's still him, though. EFerrari Feb 2012 #124

Yeah, we just don't know exactly from that statement so I can agree. riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #125

Oh god, I remember. My younger son and I just had an armed truce from 15-19 EFerrari Feb 2012 #129

LOL!! I can't believe you said that. I got puppy fever in the worst way when this started riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #134

I swear to God, it's the truth. Maybe my older boy would have had an easier time EFerrari Feb 2012 #136

Misery loves company? Perhaps the incident gave her a distorted sense of comfort in knowing pacalo Feb 2012 #218

Perhaps. I've said we don't have enough info to judge. I've also told my story riderinthestorm Feb 2012 #239

OMG, I was certainly off the mark in my comment to you. I apologize profusely. pacalo Feb 2012 #264

So, if he would have used an AXE Rex Feb 2012 #111

Yes, Rex; using an axe would be just as violent, imo. pacalo Feb 2012 #219

I really think he should have just kept Rex Feb 2012 #260

He shot a laptop. Kingofalldems Feb 2012 #112

AFTER he spent all day and over a $100 fixing it Rex Feb 2012 #118

An IT guy would have taken out Facebook, not the one computer. EFerrari Feb 2012 #126

That was my feeling as well. That he had spent all the time doing something nice for his Puregonzo1188 Feb 2012 #175

I think he was in a 'silent rage' mode Rex Feb 2012 #245

He jumped into the deep end of the pool, didn't he? EFerrari Feb 2012 #246

He did and left his kiddie floaters at home. Rex Feb 2012 #259

but you didn't take a gun to your daughters notebook. boston bean Feb 2012 #120

No I wouldn't. nt Mother Of Four Feb 2012 #121

What YOU did varelse Feb 2012 #123

I'm mystified frazzled Feb 2012 #146

Thank you. EFerrari Feb 2012 #153

"invaded their privacy"? boppers Feb 2012 #167

Yeah, my feelings too was the daughter was a normal teenager. Puregonzo1188 Feb 2012 #176

I recommend a course on non-violent communication. JDPriestly Feb 2012 #148

Can you picture your dad doing that? DocMac Feb 2012 #158

:) TexasPaganDem Feb 2012 #163

Your kids told you what they figured you wanted to hear. LeftyMom Feb 2012 #165

I saw your post after having written post 190 below. 2ndAmForComputers Feb 2012 #192

Teenagers are smart. They can construct a whole persona and world EFerrari Feb 2012 #198

Just watched the video in question. The daughter acted like a 15 year old. So did the father. Puregonzo1188 Feb 2012 #168

I'm surprised that so many parents think their Liquorice Feb 2012 #172

Good show Zalatix Feb 2012 #179

Whatever, as teens would say. That does not make what he did OK treestar Feb 2012 #182

LOL at the responses here. The dad made his point, nobody got hurt and the girl is on her way Gman Feb 2012 #185

The dad can comfort himself in the knowledge that he "made his point"... brentspeak Feb 2012 #189

Or she can be proud that she saw what she was doing wrong Gman Feb 2012 #191

You apparently just don't get it brentspeak Feb 2012 #195

That's almost the least of it, sad as it is. EFerrari Feb 2012 #196

I actually do agree that kids need well defined boundaries. renie408 Feb 2012 #202

I agree it may not be the best way Gman Feb 2012 #225

And that might also play into our 'luck' with our kids. renie408 Feb 2012 #252

You describe exactly how much effort must Gman Feb 2012 #255

Here you go: A handy visual aid for people who don't recognize domestic violence. EFerrari Feb 2012 #206

Don't need it, but thanks anyway Gman Feb 2012 #223

If you think domestic violence is "a great way" for a father to make his point, EFerrari Feb 2012 #279

yeah - that was pretty much my take on the situation. Nice chart. Warren Stupidity Feb 2012 #257

I've found this whole discussion creepy as hell. EFerrari Feb 2012 #271

We often expect petulance from children. Seeing it in an adult is disappointing. LanternWaste Feb 2012 #227

Petulance is a reaction to things you don't have control over Gman Feb 2012 #263

They're telling you what you want to hear. Smart kids. 2ndAmForComputers Feb 2012 #190

Were you TRYING to prove her point when you took her laptop away for two months? renie408 Feb 2012 #200

Worse than shooting the laptop, was the public humiliation. Youtube? Really? K8-EEE Feb 2012 #201

Exactly. He has choreography. EFerrari Feb 2012 #205

Things are so much harder now marlakay Feb 2012 #203

You have to talk about SO much stuff now. renie408 Feb 2012 #204

Good luck! marlakay Feb 2012 #207

OK, maybe I wouldn't shoot it fortyfeetunder Feb 2012 #220

That's a very mature.. sendero Feb 2012 #233

Not abuse, but endangerment Taverner Feb 2012 #249

how did he endanger his daughter? n/t Scout Feb 2012 #250

Possibility of ricochet... Taverner Feb 2012 #251

she wasn't even there..... Scout Feb 2012 #253

Of course it's abuse. Destruction of property to intimidate and control is abuse. n/t EFerrari Feb 2012 #272

I think the word "abuse" is becoming a catch-all for too many things Taverner Feb 2012 #273

You may be right about the term but very specificly, EFerrari Feb 2012 #274

I'll agree with you that it is all about power and control Taverner Feb 2012 #275

Sure, agreed. And having fundy or military parents EFerrari Feb 2012 #276

+10000 Taverner Feb 2012 #277

Omg. EFerrari Feb 2012 #278

I just showed the video to my 18 yr old son all american girl Feb 2012 #254

I've avoided this "subject" as I know my position SomethingFishy Feb 2012 #256

it isn't the girl's fault at all. Terra Alta Feb 2012 #261

I just want to congratulate you on your kids and your family Yo_Mama Feb 2012 #265

Still against the dad who shot his daughters computer brettdale Feb 2012 #270